The key to success in life is to become great at solving problems. Because no matter how prudently you live your life, problems will arise. Having problems is just an inevitable part of the human experience.
Now, there are some people who don’t actually want to solve their problems. They’d prefer to live with their problems because it’s easy and comfortable. After all, it takes effort to fix our lives! So, they live their lives stuck in one of the eddies in the river of life.
Admittedly, you can stay stuck, swirling around in one of those eddies for years. Decades. Even your whole life. After all, there is no law that requires you to solve your problems or fix your life.
But if you do want to fix your problems, the good news is that there are certain foolproof steps that you can take to do so. Try following the three steps below, and see how much more effective you become at solving even your biggest life problems.
Define Your Problem So That It’s Solvable
Your first step when facing any problem is to correctly define it. You have to define your problem as one with a clear solution. Otherwise, you can’t fix the issue.
For example, you may need more money. That isn’t your solvable problem. That’s just a vague assessment of your current financial situation. Instead, you have to define your problem as one of two things: One, if you are unemployed, your problem is that you need to find a job in order to make some money. Or two, if you have a job, your problem is that you need to figure out how to lower your expenses so that you can start living within your means.
Or, let’s say that you are unhappy in your marriage. That isn’t your problem. That’s just a description – “I’m unhappily married.” Your problem could be this: “Can my spouse and I make the necessary changes so that we both can be happy in this marriage?” And if either you or your spouse are unwilling to make those changes, then your problem is this: “How can I leave this marriage peacefully?”
The key is to define your life problem as an actionable item. Simply saying “I’m sad,” or “I’m dissatisfied with life,” isn’t really your problem. Your problem in essence is your solution.
So, the first step in solving any life problem is to define it correctly. Define the problem in terms of the thing you need to do to fix your issue.
Figure Out What You Single-Handedly Can Do to Solve Your Problem
I’d like to tell you that if you have a big life problem, there are lots of people out there who will want to help you solve it. But that isn’t the case. Typically, in life, if you have big problem, people run for the hills. It isn’t that they’re mean. It’s just that everyone has their own stuff to deal with. And very few people want to help you with your major problems.
For example, when I got divorced, people scattered. I was very much on my own. I had one friend who provided me with nearly daily emotional support. But otherwise, everyone else distanced themselves. I even had one family member who said quite bluntly, “We wish you the best in the future. But we aren’t going to speak to you anymore, now that you’re getting divorced.” The reality is that there are very few people who will stick by you when you have a big life challenge.
So, the second step in solving any life problem is to realize that when it comes to your life, the buck stops with you. So, you need to find a way to solve your problem on your own. That doesn’t mean that you can’t ask other people for help, if you need something very specific that only they can provide. But figuring out how to fix your life is your problem.
The good news is that once you realize that your problems are yours to solve, that clarifies matters immensely. You don’t need to consult with anyone else as to how to fix your life. You just need to figure out what you need to do. And usually, it’s obvious what you need to do to fix your life. You just need to be willing do it.
Don’t Be Afraid to Act
Most problems in life have clear solutions. We’re just afraid to pursue those solutions. For example, you probably know some people who are in miserable marriages. In fact, they’re so miserable, that it’s clear to everyone around them that they need to get divorced. Yet, they are too afraid to do so. They may fear the financial impact of a divorce. After all, the money that supported one household will be divided between two households after a divorce. Or they may fear being alone. They may even fear that others will judge them for having had a failed marriage. So, they’ll spend years, if not decades, in misery.
As another example, some folks may be afraid to leave an unsatisfying career. After all, if you change careers, you’ll likely have a drop in pay because you’re starting in a new profession from scratch. Or, they’ll worry that getting into a new profession is too much of a hassle. So, they’ll languish in unsatisfying careers for their whole lives.
What you have to realize is this: If you act to solve your life problem, there’s the possibility that you may still be unhappy, in spite of your efforts. But it’s more likely that you’ll end up fixing your life and be very happy! However, if you’re afraid and don’t act, you’re guaranteed to continue to be unhappy.
So, take a risk. Don’t be afraid to act to solve your life’s biggest problems. I’ve observed many people over the years. And what I’ve found is that no one is handed a great life. Rather, a great life is created. And it’s created through trial and error.
The people who I’ve known who’ve led miserable lives have been the ones who were afraid to take those scary steps to fix what was wrong in their lives. And the folks I’ve known who have had great lives didn’t fear taking action to fix their life’s problems.
If you are facing a big or small life problem, follow the steps above. Apply them to solve any life problem. Then see yourself become great at problem solving and create a great life! (To read about how to keep your problems in perspective, click here.)
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