5 Simple Strategies to Keep Your Problems in Perspective

Whenever we have problems in life, our biggest challenge is to keep those problems in perspective.  When we lose our perspective, our problems can seem worse than they actually are.  As a result, we can end up feeling unnecessarily overwhelmed.  When we keep our problems in perspective, we are able to do what we should be doing when confronted with any problem – tackle it and solve it!

The difficulty is that our emotions often cause us to lose our perspective.  For instance, many years ago, I was going through a divorce.  At the time, I felt emotionally overwhelmed by everything that was going on.  My problem was that I failed to keep the situation in perspective.  I wasn’t being mindful that once a marriage is over, there is nothing left but math.  I simply had to figure out the math of how I was going to financially support myself and my daughter.  Any concerns outside of that were non-issues.

The good news is that once you have some perspective on a problem, life becomes much easier.  That is because you then know how to deal with it.  You can choose to do one of two things.  You can solve your problem. Or, you can accept that the situation is unsolvable and figure out what to do next.  But without a proper perspective on your problem, you’ll just feel overwhelmed. 

Below are ways to keep your problems in perspective.  Follow these approaches, gain some perspective, and see how much easier it is to tackle the big and small problems in your life.

Take A Step Back and Look at the Big Picture

So often in life, our big problems are big problems only in the moment.  We need to remember that, over time, most problems go away.

For instance, I know people who had difficult childhoods.  I myself had a childhood that was fraught with stress because my parents had a bad marriage and a contentious divorce.  However, once I became an adult, I became independent and that problem went away.  I was able to leave that dysfunction behind.  Of course, I’m sad that I didn’t have a Norman Rockwell-style upbringing.  But life goes on, and I was able to work hard to create the beautiful life I have now. 

So, when facing any problem, keep that problem in perspective by considering the big picture.  Realize that there is more to life than this single moment.  And if this moment in time is rough, commit yourself in this moment to making your future as amazing as possible! 

To that end, consider this wise quote from Conan O’Brien: “Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

Don’t Let Others Make the Problem More Dramatic Than It Is

There are two types of people in your life.  There are the folks who are magnanimous and who want what is best for you.  And if you have a problem, they’ll try to help you solve it.  Or, at a minimum, they’ll reassure you that it’s going to be just fine and “not to worry!”

Then there are the folks who aren’t really concerned about you or making your life easier.  Rather, they enjoy drama.  They’ll take any problem you may have and tell you that your situation is a disaster.  They are the folks who I refer to as the “Chicken Littles.”

For example, many years ago, my husband was in the hospital, and I had to deal with a Chicken Little social worker.  She was convinced that my husband was going to die, and she was hell-bent on convincing me of the same.  She wanted to make my problem worse than it actually was.  Notwithstanding her “diagnosis,” today, my husband today is alive, healthy and a highly active individual.  And the best thing that I did at the time was to ignore this person.

In fact, the key to dealing with the Chicken Littles of the world is always to ignore them.  When you have a meaningful problem, don’t deal with them.  That’s because when you’re facing a big problem, you have to keep your head on straight and maintain your perspective.  You have to go into “tackle and solve” mode, and you can’t be distracted by people who thrive on drama. 

So, keep your problems in perspective by putting your blinders on and ignoring the Chicken Littles of the world.  If you look at any problem logically and factually, you can deal with it.  Keep the emotional drama of others out of the situation.

Reframe the Problem

Realize that problems are never just problems.  Every problem can educate us either by shining a light on a flaw within ourselves or a flaw within another person.  Or both.  In fact, problems actually are learning experiences when approached correctly.

For example, you learn an awful lot about people when you aren’t getting along with them. When a relationship is going well, other people always seem like terrific human beings.  But when there are relationship problems, that’s when you find out whether another person is fundamentally kind and decent – or not. 

Similarly, when you have problems, you quickly find out where your own flaws lie.  Do you fall apart when there is a problem and create a big scene?  Or do you quietly handle your problems with emotional maturity?

Unfortunately, we don’t learn about ourselves or others when life is going smoothly.  But we do learn a lot when faced with problems.

So, to keep your problems in perspective, don’t look at your problems as solely a bad thing.  Realize that when viewed correctly, every problem actually is an opportunity to learn something about yourself, others or life generally.

Seek Advice and Support

We all need a wise, trustworthy confidant in life.  Telling a wise confidant your problems is helpful because that person can help you put those problems in perspective!

For instance, I have a friend from high school who has been my confidant for two decades.  Over the past 20 years, he and I have shared every detail of our lives with each other – the good, the bad and the ugly!  We’ve supported each other through the years, and more importantly, we’ve helped each other keep our problems in perspective.

Typically, we’ve kept our problems in perspective with humor!  My friend is great at making funny, ironic and irreverent comments.  And in the middle of my toughest days, he often has made me laugh right out loud.  I can assure you that once you have a good laugh about your problems, they just don’t seem so bad! 

So, make sure that you have a close confidant in life.  If you find someone who is both wise and trustworthy, I can assure you that person will be worth their weight in gold.  A close confidant won’t just provide you with wisdom and support, but they’ll help you realize that your problems probably aren’t as bad as you thought they were.

Realize that This Too Shall Pass

One of the most important rules of life to remember in any situation, good or bad, is that “This too shall pass.”  Good times don’t last forever.  So, cherish them!  And in the same way, bad situations don’t last forever either. 

For example, many years ago, I was having marital issues, and a friend said to me, “This situation won’t go on forever.  Like all things, this too shall pass.”  She was right.  Now, the situation wasn’t resolved as I’d hoped, and the marriage ended in divorce.  But to my tremendous relief, my stress didn’t go on forever, and I was able to start a new, happier life.

Often, when we are in the middle of a bad situation, we lose our perspective.  We mistakenly think that the situation will have no end, and we are trapped.  But that isn’t the case.  Tough situations may not always get resolved as quickly as we’d like, or in the way that we’d like.  But they eventually do get resolved.  It just may take some time.

So, with any problem, have the perspective that this situation is not going to last forever.  This too shall pass.  And then decide to do be proactive and do whatever is necessary to resolve the situation as quickly as possible.

Practice Gratitude

The most important way to keep a problem in perspective is to remember that your life is far greater than any problem you may be experiencing.  Our problems are simply a small part of the bigger picture of our lives.  They may be stressful, but we always have more going on in life than just our problems.  Unfortunately, we sometimes forget that fact.

That is why practicing gratitude is so important.  When we remind ourselves of our many blessings, our problems don’t seem so big.

You might consider having what I refer to as an “active” gratitude practice.  For instance, instead of just thinking about how lucky you are to have friends, you might invite a friend out for a coffee.  Then, when you are with that friend, consider how blessed you are to have someone in your life whose company you truly enjoy.  Or instead of journaling about how much you love your dog, you might take your dog for a long walk. And as you are walking, you can meditate on how blessed you are to have an animal friend!  Similarly, if you have a body that can exercise, you might go for a hike. Then, while you are hiking, you can consider how blessed you are to have a healthy body.

The key is to regularly think about all the good things going on in your life.  That way, your problems won’t seem so bad by comparison!

If you are facing a problem today, try the strategies above to keep that problem in perspective.  When we keep our problems in perspective, we don’t get overwhelmed by them.  And then we are in a better frame of mind to tackle and solve them! (To read about how to quiet an anxious mind, click here.)