To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
The hardest part of growing older is accepting that certain chapters of life are done. You can’t revisit them. There are no do-overs of the seasons of life.
Accepting that is challenging. For example, my daughter is graduating from high school this year. My season of being a full-time parent is coming to an end, and I find that to be incredibly difficult.
I wish I could go back to those precious days when she was small, and we watched Sesame Street together. What wouldn’t I give to just have one more year of reading the Junie B. Jones children’s book series to her while laughing out loud together at Junie B.’s antics? Parenting a daughter to adulthood has been the greatest pleasure (and privilege) of my life. But my season of raising a child will soon be over, and that experience cannot be repeated.
Accepting Regrets in Each Season of Life
When we accept that everything has a season, we invariably have to learn to live with some regrets. For instance, I wish that I’d had the financial ability to stay home with my daughter full-time when she was small, rather than return to work. I would have loved to be fully present for every moment of her younger years. And, of course, there were times when I wish that I had been more patient with her. Then there were times when I wish that I had used better judgment as a parent.
At the end of a season, when we reflect back, we have to accept that we didn’t do everything perfectly. Having those kinds of regrets is normal and appropriate. It shows that we learned something along the way. (To read more about accepting your past, click here.)
Accepting That There Are No Do-Overs
Accepting the seasons of life also means that there are some things that you just can’t do again. You can try, but it isn’t the same. For instance, if I went back to college now, it wouldn’t be the same experience as going to college when I was 18. I could go back to college today and learn a new subject, but I can’t have that youthful college experience.
Similarly, your social life changes as you get older. If you go to bars and clubs when you are young, it is fun and cool. If you are hitting the bars and clubs in your 40s and 50s, it is sad. There is a season for everything.
Embracing the Seasons of Life
The key is to embrace each season, rather than lament that your springtime is over. So, while I am sad that those years of taking care of a small child are over, I am enjoying the friendship that I now have with a more grown up daughter. She is a fun and interesting person to talk to!
With each season, all kinds of things about our lives change. For instance, our bodies change. As we age, they become more fragile, and we have to take better care of them. Our relationships can change either through death, divorce or merely moving. For example, the people in my social circle today are completely different from the folks in my social circle 25 years ago.
But there are benefits to the changing seasons. I am in the autumn of my life, and with each passing year, I’ve grown wiser and become more confident. The opinions of others matter little to me at this stage of life because I trust my own judgment far more than anyone else’s.
As a result, today I am the happiest that I’ve ever been. But my happiness has been hard-earned. My wisdom has come from living through different seasons and enduring, at times, a bumpy road.
Lessons Learned Over the Years
Over the years, I’ve learned that only a few people in life will like you and love you for who you are. Cherish them. Most will like you or love you only if you march to the beat of their drum.
I’ve seen that the people who are popular and charismatic in public often are the ones who are dysfunctional and cruel behind closed doors. I’ve seen that the people who are truly good tend to be the quiet, gentle ones who never seek attention or recognition.
I’ve learned that there are a lot of very fragile and vulnerable people in the world. Evil people take advantage of them. Good people protect them, care for them and encourage them.
I’ve learned that love is about service. When you love others, you serve them. You help them and encourage them. If you never learn how to serve and care for others (especially your spouse, children and parents), you’ll never grow up. You will be in a perpetual state of infancy.
I didn’t start out with that kind of knowledge. I had to go through the seasons of spring and summer to learn those truths from life experience. Now they are embedded in my brain and heart.
So, don’t just accept life’s seasons. Embrace them. Don’t mourn when one season ends and a new one begins. Realize that with every passing season, you will learn more and become wiser (and hopefully happier) in the process. (The read about the life changing power of acceptance, click here.)
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