How to Regain Control of Your Life

Sometimes life can get out of control.  For instance, your house may be becoming increasingly messy.  Or, your mental or physical health could be deteriorating.  Perhaps you are going into debt.  Or, maybe some of the people in your life are overwhelming you with their issues.  You may be having all 5 issues!  If so, it’s time to regain control of your life.

If your life currently is out of control, don’t feel badly.  We all, at times, let things slip and get to that point.  But once you realize that parts of your life have become out of control, it’s time to get back in the driver’s seat.  Below are ways to do just that.  Follow these approaches and re-take control of your life!

Take Control of Your Mental Health

In order to have a good life, you have to have good mental health.  You can’t be happy or successful if your mind is unsettled.  I’ve known people with unsettled minds, and their lives are hard.  Their unsettled minds lead them to abuse substances, lash out at others and make all kinds of bad moral choices. 

If you want to take control of your life, the first thing you need to do is to take charge of your mental health.  Now there are some people who have significant mental health issues, and they need professional assistance from a therapist or psychiatrist.  If you need that level of help, get it.  That’s just common sense.  But for many of us, we have the ability to take charge of our mental health on our own.

There are two critical things that you can do to take control of your mental health. The first is to take charge of what you put in your brain.  For instance, the television and Internet both have a lot of good, positive content (like the “Create A Great Life” website!).  But they also have a lot of negative, violent junk. 

If you want to take control of your mental health, you need to make good choices about what you watch and read on the television and Internet.  Choose content that is positive and educational.  Find articles, podcasts and videos that will help you be a happier, more peaceful and kinder person.  In short, use the television and Internet as tools for personal growth.

The second way to take charge of your mental health is to work at calming your mind.  The best way to do that is through meditation.  When we meditate, we quiet our minds for a period of time each day.  We do so by quietly focusing on something immediate, like our breath or a sound. 

When we meditate, we stop the whir of thoughts going through our brains.  We clear our minds of our worries and frustrations.  And then we become quiet and focus on something simple.  By giving our brains a break from the constant thinking that we do all day, we learn to be calmer.  And part of being a mentally healthy person is being a calm person.

So, if your life feels out of control, take charge of it again by taking charge of your mental health.  That is the first step toward regaining control over your life. (To read about great habits to reduce stress, click here.)

Organize Your Stuff

One of the most rewarding things that you can do for yourself is to take charge of your environment.  That means creating a calm home that is organized and serene.

Realize that it’s hard to be calm and relaxed in the midst of a mess.  Your brain can only unwind in a living space that is organized. The good news is that once you organize your living space, you’ll be able to actually relax because your living environment will be under control. 

The best way to tackle organizing is to do it in small bits and pieces.  You might take an hour to organize one closet, a bookshelf or a drawer.  For instance, recently my office desk drawer was beginning to get crowded.  So, yesterday, the only thing that I organized was that desk drawer.  I tossed stuff that I just don’t need, and I put items on shelves that were better suited to being on a shelf than in a drawer. I had other stuff to do, so I just did that small project.  And that felt great!   

So, if you are trying to regain control over your life, take charge of your stuff.  Toss what you just don’t need and organize your remaining belongings in a pleasing manner.  Remember that you deserve to have a home where you can truly relax! (To read more tips on creating a serene home, click here.)

Stop Eating Junk and Drinking Alcohol

One way in which our lives can become out of control is when our health gets out of control.  And the main reason our health gets out of control is when we put unhealthy foods and drinks in our bodies.  So, if you want to take control of your life, take charge of what you are putting in your body!

Realize that your body isn’t like a car.  If you don’t take care of your car, you can go buy a new one.  However, you can’t buy a new body!  You get only one.  So, it makes a world of sense to take care of the only body that you are going to get.

If you are having health issues, take a hard look at what you are putting in your body.  Processed foods, fast food and alcohol damage your body.  Now I’ll admit that junk foods can be tasty.  And alcohol may help you unwind.  But junk food and alcohol wreak havoc on your body. 

The tough thing about life is that you can go along for years putting garbage in your body, and not much will happen.  So, it’s hard to get motivated to give up foods and drinks that are bad for you.  But realize that one day, your junk food and alcohol habits will catch up with you in the form of a health issue.  And then you’ll wish you’d taken charge of your diet years earlier.

What I can tell you is that adopting a healthy diet is doable!  For instance, I gave up drinking alcohol almost a decade ago because it gave me stomach aches.  And while I miss being able to have nice glass of red wine, the stomach aches aren’t worth it!  In addition, a couple of years ago, I gave up eating chicken, pork and beef and became a pescatarian (meaning I eat only fish).  Switching to a fish and plant-based diet was the best thing that I ever did for myself health-wise.  I feel physically so much better since becoming a pescatarian.  In fact, my only regret is that I didn’t make that lifestyle change decades ago!

So, if you want to take charge of your life, it is critical to take charge of your health.  Realize that no one else can do it for you.  But know that a healthy lifestyle will pay off tremendously in the years to come.

Understand Your Financial Situation

One of the most important things to control in life are your finances.  Out of control finances are extremely stressful. 

The good news is that taking charge of your finances isn’t complicated.  It’s just emotionally hard.  To take charge of your finances, you have to know what your income is and what are your ongoing expenses and debts.  And you then need to make lifestyle choices that allow you to spend less than you earn each month.  I know that sounds like common sense.  But sadly, many people get themselves into debt because they don’t want to change their lifestyles so that they spend less than they earn. 

Now if your finances currently are out of control, and you are in significant debt, to regain control you are going to have to make some meaningful life adjustments.  You may need to move into less expensive housing.  Or you may need to sell some of your belongings to pay off your current debt.  You may even need to temporarily take on a second job to pay off your debt. 

The key to taking charge of your finances is to face your situation head on.  Realize that your income is likely a fixed amount.  But your expenses are where you have some flexibility.  So, be willing to make lifestyle adjustments so that you can reduce your expenses.  If you so do, you can wipe out any debts you have and get to a place where you spend less than you earn.  Your reward is that by living debt-free, you’ll be more at ease than you ever thought possible.

Carefully Choose with Whom You Are Going to Spend Your Time

One way in which our lives can feel out of control is when we have to deal with negative, aggressive or just plain unkind people.  Taking control of your life means finding ways to limit your interactions with those types of folks. 

Realize that there is an unspoken social contract which not everyone in this world grasps.  And that contract is this: You are obliged to pleasant at all times.  That means that even if you are having a bad day, the sun isn’t shining or you are frustrated with life, you still are expected to be pleasant.  Why?  Because your unhappiness is your problem.  It isn’t anyone else’s problem. 

Unfortunately, there are lots of people in this world who were never taught that simple social contract.  So, they choose to be difficult if they are having a bad day.  They’ll complain that other people aren’t meeting their needs.  If they are frustrated, they’ll publicly express their anger, or they’ll behave in an aggressive manner.  And they misguidedly believe that they have the right to behave in these unpleasant ways.

So, taking charge of your life means limiting your interactions with the people who don’t grasp the social contract.  Or, you can eliminate those folks from your life altogether.  Realize that you don’t have to feel badly for doing so.  Life is far too short to suffer due to people who don’t grasp the basic rules of society.

If you feel like your life is currently out of control, consider following the approaches above.  Take the necessary steps to regain control of your life.  If you do, you’ll be back in the driver’s seat once again! (If you would like to read about how to develop your focus and self-discipline, click here.)