Transform Your Life: 5 Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself Today

We all go through periods when we feel dissatisfied with life.  But often we can’t figure out why we feel that way.  If you are feeling dissatisfied and want to transform your life for the better, you need to ask yourself some tough questions about (1) how you got to where you are today, and (2) where you want to go from here.

Be mindful that the questions that you need to ask yourself relate solely to you.  Unfortunately, when we are dissatisfied with life, we often make the mistake of blaming others. 

Now, I’ll concede that sometimes other people can create problems for us.  Some people are just a burden. They may be difficult, dramatic or selfish (or all three!).  But let’s say that you wisely got rid of all the difficult, dramatic, selfish people in your life (or you significantly reduced your time with them).  You then are left with your life.  And if your life still is dissatisfying to you, then you need to ask yourself some tough questions to figure out how to fix it.

Below are 5 powerful questions to ask yourself, so that you can figure out how to get your life back on track.  Ask yourself these questions.  Dig deep!  Really think about where your life is now, and what you want your life to look like in the future.  If you go through the process of considering these questions, you’ll give yourself a roadmap to transform your life for the better!

Am I Satisfied with My Current Circumstances?

Often in life, we do things because we feel like we should do them.  “I should be an accountant.”  Or, “I should stay in an unhappy marriage.”  Or, “I should live in my home town.”

Where do all these “shoulds” come from?  Well, they come from our families, friends, colleagues and even society at large.  Unfortunately, we often feel pressure to abide by these “shoulds,” even when it’s against our own best interests.  Just think of how many people you know who are languishing in miserable marriages because they feel like they should stay married.  Or, consider how many people are in unfulfilling careers because they feel like they should stay in a profession that is viewed highly by society.

So, if you are seeking to transform your life, the first questions you should ask yourself are these: Am I satisfied with my current circumstances?  Am I happy with my career?  My relationships?  Am I happy with where I’m living? 

Those are hard questions to answer because we get stuck in the “shoulds” of life.  For example, I have a friend who was in an unhappy marriage for many years.  Nevertheless, she never asked herself the question, “Am I satisfied with my life and this marriage?”  That’s because she had the mistaken belief that she should stay married, even if the marriage wasn’t working out.  So, instead, she regularly asked herself, “How can I make this marriage less miserable?”  That was the wrong question!

Transforming your life requires you to stop worrying about what you “should” be doing. Instead, you need to ask yourself the tough question, “Am I satisfied with my circumstances?” and then give yourself an honest answer.  Only then can you know how to transform your life for the better!

Am I Living According to My Values?

Sometimes our lives can feel out of whack when we aren’t living according to our values.  For instance, you may value being a parent.  But if your job consumes all your time, you’ll have little time to parent, and you may end up feeling like your life is not in line with your values. 

I have a friend who chose to become a professor precisely because he wanted a work schedule that would allow him to be more available to his children.  He could have made more money in the private sector.  However, he valued being a dad above all else.  So, he chose a career that has allowed him to be more readily available to his kids.  Because he created a life that reflects his values, he is at ease with himself and his life.

Now, admittedly, we can’t always live a life that perfectly aligns with our values.  There are trade-offs in life.  For instance, my top priority always has been to be a mother.  As a result, I would have loved to have been a fulltime, stay-at-home mother to my daughter when she was small.  But at that point in my life, I didn’t have the financial ability to not work.  So, when she was small, I worked part-time, and then I transitioned to working fulltime as she grew older.  

But even though I couldn’t be a fulltime mother to my daughter, I’ve tried to ensure that my life otherwise has aligned with my values.  For instance, over the years, I’ve made sure to focus my free time on her.  And I’ve used my income to ensure that she had a good upbringing and ultimately, a top-notch college education. 

So, in seeking to transform your life, realize that you may not always get to live a life that perfectly aligns with your values.  But the key is to structure your life, to the extent you are able, to reflect what is truly important to you.

What Are My Goals?

It is easy for life to become very routine.  Each day, we go to work, make meals, and do housework.  And if we have kids, we meet their needs as well.  As a result, life can putter along in a very humdrum fashion. 

However, if you want to transform your life into something more interesting, you need to ask yourself, “What are my goals?  What do I want to accomplish with this one and only life that I’ve been given?”  And if you don’t have any goals, well, you need to create some!

Realize that personal goals are the spice of life.  They transform life from being something very regular to being something truly interesting and fun.  It’s invigorating to have goals that you are working toward!

For example, I always have multiple goals that I am working on.  These days, I have health goals in which I am working to become fitter and stronger.  I also have professional goals, which revolve around improving the “Create A Great Life” website.  I even have home improvement goals to make my house and property as lovely and serene as possible.

When you are working toward a personal goal, it’s exciting!  Goals imbue our lives with purpose.  So, if you are seeking to transform your life, ask yourself, “What are my goals?” 

How Can I Step Out of My Comfort Zone?

Often, people misunderstand what it means to step out of your comfort zone.  Realize that it doesn’t mean doing something irrelevant like jumping out of a plane with a parachute. Nor does it mean going deep-sea diving when you’re scared of swimming.  The point isn’t to do uncomfortable things just to be able to say, “Yes, that made me uncomfortable, but I was able to do it.”  That’s a massive waste of time. 

Instead, stepping out of your comfort zone means not letting discomfort prevent you from achieving all that you were meant to achieve.  For instance, let’s say that you didn’t get to go to college because your high school grades weren’t great.  So, you mistakenly concluded that academics weren’t for you.  Nevertheless, deep in your heart, you have the desire to get a college degree. 

At this point in your life, fear may be preventing you from going to college.  You may worry that you won’t get good grades. Or you may fear not being able to graduate.  Stepping out of your comfort zone means saying to yourself, “Just because I didn’t do well in high school, that doesn’t mean that I can’t be a terrific student now!  I’m older, wiser and more mature, and I can really apply myself to my studies.  There is no need to fear failure. I can do this!”  Frankly, you can apply that reasoning to any goal that you’re afraid to tackle. 

So, if you want to transform your life, ask yourself the following question. How can I step out of my comfort zone in order to achieve all the things that I want to achieve with my life?  Don’t let fear stop you from having the amazing life that you deserve!

Am I Nurturing My Personal Growth and Development?

Often, in the busyness of life, we neglect to work on our personal growth.  And yet, it is critically important that each year we grow emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. Realize that your professional and personal success hinges on your personal development. 

In fact, if you want to transform your life, the most important thing that you can do is to transform yourself.  Otherwise, you’ll keep making the same mistakes over and over again.  For example, my parents raised me to be polite and accommodating.  And those are both good qualities – to a point.  However, years ago, I realized that being excessively polite and accommodating hadn’t benefitted me.   Instead, it had landed me in a place where none of my needs were being met, and I simply was spending my days accommodating the needs of others.   

So, I had to learn to be a lot less accommodating to others.  And I also had to learn how to put myself first.  That has involved years of hard work. But I can assure you that it was well worth the effort!  Because now I’ve been able to create a wonderful life that I enjoy. 

So don’t dismiss personal growth as something unimportant.  It is only through personal growth that we develop the skills to change our lives for the better. 

If you are seeking to transform your life, take some time to consider the questions above.  And be mindful that your answers to these questions may evolve over time. The key is to use them as a starting point to gain a deeper understanding of where you are in life today. Then you can make the necessary changes to Create a Great Life! (To read about how to know if you are on the right path in life, click here.)