If there is one lesson that every child should be taught by the age of 5, it is this: You are responsible for your own happiness. And knowing how to take responsibility for your own happiness is the most important skill that any human being can learn.
If you want to stand a chance at being happy in life, make that lesson your guiding mantra. Say it to yourself throughout the day. Make it part of your very being.
The reality is that most people go through life being unhappy because they haven’t grasped that one simple lesson. Instead, they refuse to take responsibility for their own happiness. They would rather look to their spouse, their friends or their parents to make them happy. And then they drive other people up a wall with their neediness and demands.
Below are ways to take responsibility for your own happiness. Try these approaches and see how you radically can change your life for the better.
Acknowledge Your Bad Choices and Be Willing to Fix Them
Realize that where you are today is a product of the choices that you made in the past. So, if you want to take real responsibility for your happiness, you first have to acknowledge your past bad choices.
For example, let’s say that you are unhappy in your marriage. Perhaps your spouse is a selfish or difficult person, and you are miserable in the marriage. You then have two choices:
You can blame your spouse. Unfortunately, that will lead you to try to change that person, which will be futile because that person may very well be happy with themselves, thank you very much!
Or, you can take responsibility for your happiness by acknowledging your bad choice. Let’s face it. You chose to marry that person. So, your unhappiness was caused by your bad choice. The good news is that just like you had the power to make that bad choice, you now have the power to fix that bad choice by getting out of the marriage.
You can apply the same reasoning to any problem. The key is to stop blaming others, acknowledge your bad choices, and then fix your mistakes.
If Someone Makes You Miserable, Stop Dealing with Them
So often, people blame their unhappiness on someone else. Then, they inexplicably continue to deal with the person who is making them miserable. It is a head scratcher.
Realize that once you turn 18, when it comes to your life, the buck stops with you. And that means that you have the authority to stop dealing with anyone you don’t like. So, if you want to take true responsibility for your happiness, then you need to be willing to cut off people who are a problem in your life.
Now, that is uncomfortable for many of us. We don’t like to reject people. But realize this: If someone really wants to be a part of your life, that person will be pleasant, easygoing and kind. That person will be careful with your feelings and will be good to you.
However, if that person is unkind, confrontational, demanding or aggressive, then that person doesn’t really like you or love you. He or she is just using you to satisfy their needs and desires. You simply are someone who they can boss around. So, if you really want to be happy, sever the relationship. Trust me. That person soon will find a replacement for you.
This rule holds true for all relationships in our lives. You are not obliged to maintain a relationship with a spouse, parent, child, or any other family member or friend who is problematic. In short, taking responsibility for your happiness means making good choices about whom you will and will not deal with.
Take Responsibility for Your Happiness by Choosing Your Inner Circle Carefully
One of the most important ways to take responsibility for your happiness is to choose a solid inner circle. To be happy, you need to associate with people who encourage and inspire you. If you comprise your inner circle with low quality, negative people, they will drag you down with them.
The key is to surround yourself with people who encourage you to achieve your highest potential. That means spending your time with people who see the best in you, and who believe in you. Those folks are few and far between. So, if you find someone who is a true encourager, hang on to that person!
Similarly, you want to be around people who are both professionally and ethically of the highest quality. Your inner circle should contain people who work hard, and who are honest and kind. Those people will inspire you to operate at your highest level.
So, taking responsibility for your happiness means, in part, making good choices with whom you spend your time, and with whom you associate.
Be Willing to Work Hard for What You Want
So often, we are unhappy with our lives because we want more from life. For example, you may want a better job or, you may want better relationships with those you love.
If you want all of those things, realize that takes work! For example, a great career doesn’t just happen. If you look at anyone who is highly successful, I will guarantee you that they live, eat and breathe their careers. Their day doesn’t end at 5 p.m. They are thinking about and working at their jobs all the time. Their career is their passion.
The same holds true for our relationships. You can’t have great relationships if you don’t put in time and effort. That means spending quality time with those you love. Encouraging them. Helping them. All of that is time-consuming!
When we take responsibility for our happiness, we first pick those goals that are important to us, and then we give those goals our time and energy. We don’t sit around and complain because we don’t have what we want in life. Instead, we actively pursue it!
If you truly want to change your life for the better, I encourage you to follow some of the approaches above. Take responsibility for your happiness! Realize that you have the ability to make choices today that will create a great future. (To read more about what to do when you’ve made a bad choice, click here.) (To read about the power of taking responsibility, click here.)
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