Every person on this earth has felt “not good enough” at one time or another. If you feel that way on occasion, know that you are not alone. You may not feel good enough to achieve your dreams. Or, you may worry that you aren’t good enough to do your job. Worse yet, some folks out there feel like they aren’t good enough to be loved.
These feelings of insecurity plague all of us. But the difference between the people who succeed in life, and the people who don’t, is that folks who succeed are skilled at overcoming the “I’m not good enough” fear.
If you are fighting the fear of not being good enough, try implementing some of the strategies below. If you do, you’ll find that you are good enough, and before you know it, you’ll be accomplishing more than you ever thought possible!
Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway
To do anything great in life, you first have to get past the fear of not being good enough. And one way to that is to 1. Feel that fear, and 2. Do it anyway.
Accept that on occasion in life you will be fearful. You may fear failure. Or, you may fear rejection. That’s good! If you have some fears, that means that you are pushing yourself to your full potential.
Admittedly, you can go through life in the “safe zone” and never feel the fear of being “not good enough.” For example, I could spend my life playing it safe. I could have a simple job, and spend my free time going to the grocery store, cleaning the house and watching television. And I’d never have to worry about being “good enough” because none of those tasks require me to stretch my talents.
But instead, I write this blog, and every week, I put my writing out there to be liked or disliked. Some folks may agree with what I have to say, and others may find it to be complete drivel. To write this blog, I first have to face the unspoken fear that every self-improvement writer faces: Who am I to be doling out life advice? That is the fear that I face every time I sit down at the computer to write.
However, even though I feel the fear of “Am I good enough?,” I choose to write anyway. I write anyway because I love helping people, and my hope is that something I write may truly help another human being.
So, if you want to overcome those fears of not being good enough, accept them. Accept that you feel that way. And then say to yourself, “I’m going to do it anyway!”
To Get Over Feeling “Not Good Enough,” Realize That Success Is 99% Perspiration
There is a great quote from Thomas Edison which should be the guiding mantra for anyone who wants to succeed: “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.” Notice that nothing in that quote talks about being “good enough.” That is because success isn’t about being good enough. It’s about hard work.
Hard work, ambition and perseverance trump natural abilities any day of the week. Realize that the United States’ president isn’t the smartest person in the country. He simply is someone who is ambitious and willing to put in the incredibly hard work to become a world leader.
Likewise, Bill Gates is not a genius. There were likely lots of other people in the 1970s who had similar ideas to Microsoft. He and Paul Allen simply were the ones willing to work hard enough to drive that vision to become a reality.
Highly successful people don’t spend their days wondering, “Am I good enough?” They are too busy trying to achieve their goals.
So, stop worrying about whether you are good enough. That is pointless. The only question you need to ask yourself is this: Am I willing to work hard enough to achieve my goals?
Stop Feeling “Not Good Enough” by Learning to Love Yourself
If you want to feel good enough in life, then you have to learn to love yourself. When you look in the mirror, you should love the person who is staring back at you. You should love that person’s face, figure, brains, and ideas. Why? Because you are unique. And that means that you have something great to offer the world that no one else can.
Unfortunately, the world sometimes bombards us with the opposite message. There are a lot of people out there who gladly will tell you what they don’t like about you. Or they may tell you all the ways in which they think that you aren’t good enough. Critical people are a dime a dozen.
As a result, you have to learn to ignore the critics. Realize that you have a lot to offer the world. So, if your spouse, parent or friend tells you that you aren’t good enough, or that you are unlovable or unlikeable, move on from that relationship. Don’t spend your time with people who are hellbent on destroying your self-esteem and confidence.
Instead, in find folks who love all your unique qualities, and who think that you are amazing. Life is too short to spend it with people who don’t appreciate you. Go spend your time with folks who do!
So, if you want to stop feeling “not good enough,” learn to love yourself. And spend your time with people who love you too.
Develop A Gratitude Practice That Is Focused on You
Typically, when we talk about having a gratitude practice, we are referring to the practice of counting our blessings. That practice is about focusing on all the good things that are happening in our lives. But if you want to start feeling “good enough,” I encourage you to have a gratitude practice focused on yourself.
Get up each morning, look in the mirror, and list 5 things that you are grateful about yourself. Identify those things that you like about yourself. Doing so may feel hokey or silly, but it’s not.
Realize that most of us are too self-critical. We easily can list the things that we don’t like about ourselves. Where we struggle is to list those things that we actually like about ourselves. But being able to do so, is the first step toward feeling “good enough.”
When you initially try to create your list, you may struggle. It may feel awkward. But once you stop the bad habit of being self-critical and start focusing on your qualities, your view of yourself will change. And before you know it, you will feel “good enough” to tackle any challenge.
If you aren’t feeling “good enough” in any area of your life, consider applying the approaches above. Realize that your feeling of insecurity is just a feeling. It isn’t a fact. Instead, know for a fact that you are good enough to accomplish your goals, to be loved, and to live a successful life. (To read about ways to boost your confidence, click here.)
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