We all go through life with our hearts somewhat closed. And sadly, some of us have hearts that are more closed than others. But if you want to transform your life for the better, you want to work toward having a truly open heart.
Realize that we close our hearts in all kinds of ways. For instance, I’ve known families who are very closed. They’re unwelcoming to anyone outside of their group. Other folks close their hearts to people who are different from them. They look at anyone with a different skin color, religion or citizenship as questionable. And some people close their hearts to animals; they view them as merely for human “use” and nothing more.
The “closed heart” point of view stems from an “Us Versus Them” mentality. Now, the “Us Versus Them” mentality is innocuous when people watch sports and root for a particular team. But viewing the world generally in terms of “Us Versus Them” is unhealthy. In fact, I’d argue that the “Us Versus Them” mentality is what causes countless problems in our world, from war to discrimination to mental health issues.
So, if you want to transform your life for the better, you need to stop viewing the world in terms of “Us Versus Them” and develop a truly open heart. You want to have a heart that cares about and is interested in all kinds of people and creatures.
Below are ways to transform your life by developing an open heart. Follow these approaches, and see how much richer and more fulfilling your life can be!
Practice Feeling Compassion for All
Most of us have feelings of compassion for others. We see someone suffering, and we naturally want to alleviate that suffering. The problem is that we tend to limit the types of folks for whom we feel compassion.
For example, we may feel compassion for human beings, but we don’t feel compassion for the suffering of animals. Or we may extend our compassion only to people who look like us, or who share our same nationality or religion. But having an open heart means expanding our feelings of compassion to a wider group.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have a very simple practice that has helped me to open my heart and feel compassion for all. My practice is this: I don’t kill bugs. If I see an ant or a spider in the house, I gently put the bug on a piece of paper and escort him or her outside.
I started this practice of not killing bugs when I read a book in which the author commented that all living creatures have this one thing in common: The desire to live. So, if I see an ant, I think to myself, “Hmmm. You and I both want to live to the end of today (at least!). So, I’m going to help you by placing you outside. I’m not going to squash you for no good reason.”
This practice has been incredibly effective in helping me to become a more compassionate person. By feeling compassion for the even tiniest bug, I more easily have compassion for all.
So, if you want to become a more compassionate person, open your heart. Open your heart to all creatures, from your most beloved family member to the tiniest ant you see on the sidewalk. By expanding your compassion to all creatures, you will transform yourself into a more compassionate human being.
Develop A More Expansive View of “Family”
There are many people in this world who have terrific, traditional families. The people who they are biologically related to are loyal, kind and supportive of them. But there are so, so many people who don’t have that experience. And they end up feeling badly because the people to whom they are biologically related aren’t very nice to them.
If that is your situation, realize that there’s no reason to feel badly! You just have to open your heart and expand your definition of “family.” For example, I have a group of people and pets with whom I interact every day. But only one of them is biologically related to me (my daughter). The rest are an assortment of people and creatures with whom I have no biological connection. My spouse. A friend from high school. A dog, cat and two rabbits. That’s my “family.”
And I’m not an orphan. I have a shocking number of biological relatives in this world. But I rarely (if ever) interact with them. So, I can say that I’m related to those folks based on DNA, but I wouldn’t say that they’re my “family.” Because my definition of family isn’t based on biology. It’s based on relationship and commitment.
Once you expand your definition of family, life becomes a whole lot better. Because then you can pick your family! There’s a funny saying that goes, “You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.” I’d argue that you can pick your family too! And you can pick family members who are of the highest quality. You can pick people who are gentle, thoughtful, considerate and compassionate. In fact, if you choose wisely, you can have a family of the most amazing people (and pets)!
So, consider transforming your life by opening your heart and life to folks who aren’t biologically related to you. Expand your concept of family, and see how you can have a family of truly terrific people.
Enjoy the Variety of Our World
I know people who are very closed-minded. They only want to spend time with people who eat the same foods that they eat. And they only want to hang out with folks who have the same color skin, practice the same religion and share their nationality. Their hearts and minds are closed to anyone that’s different.
Frankly, there’s nothing wrong with that approach to life. You can go through life eating the same foods that you grew up with. And you can spend your time solely with people who look like you, and who share your same world view. But you’ll be missing out.
Realize that the world is a very interesting place. It’s full of different foods, and people from different cultures. The world is an incredibly fascinating place just because of its variety. And when you experience that variety, your life becomes so much richer.
For example, I lived in the Middle East for two years. And the best night I had while living there was spent with two ladies. One was from Lebanon, and the other was from Syria. My daughter was playing with their kids on a playground, while the three of us spent that evening drinking tea and chatting under the stars. These ladies were both incredibly interesting, and I had a magical evening learning about them and their lives.
I’ll never forget that night. And I wouldn’t have experienced it if I’d said to myself, “Well, I’ll only hang out with other people who are just like me.” By opening my heart to people from other countries and cultures, I was able to have an unforgettable evening.
Realize that you truly can transform your life simply by opening your heart and getting to know people who are different from you. Get to know people from different countries and ethnic backgrounds. If you do, you’ll find your life becomes so much richer and more interesting.
If you are seeking to transform your life, I encourage you to open your heart. Open your heart to new people, creatures and experiences. If you do so, I can assure you that you’ll have a happier and more rewarding life. (To read about how to have a well-lived life, click here.)
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1 The hardest part Read more
There are times in life when our circumstances can prevent us from being relaxed and happy. Dramatic changes like a Read more
When we are young, we seek many things in life. Adventure. Professional success. Romance. But as we get older, and Read more
There is always the potential for stress in our lives. Sometimes that stress is created by others. Sometimes we create Read more
The holidays can be difficult for many adults. That is because we have an idealized view of what Christmas and Read more
Achieving inner peace is challenging. It's not something that comes naturally to us. The human mind searches for things that Read more
Recently a friend of mine turned 50. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said, “Peace.” Read more
“It ain’t over till it’s over” – Yogi Berra Yogi Berra made the above comment during the 1973 National League Read more
