How often do you say to yourself, “I just love my life!” Probably not that often. Unfortunately, most people don’t naturally love their lives. That’s because we tend to focus on what’s going wrong in our lives, instead of the multitude of things that are going right. So, learning to love your life is a skill that you have to develop.
Realize that our circumstances don’t determine whether we love our lives. Rather, it’s our attitude. After all, we all know people who seemingly have everything, and yet they struggle to love their lives.
For example, I once knew a lady who was married and had a young daughter. Her husband was unhappy with his life, and he was convinced that his wife was to blame. So, he regularly complained about her personality and told her that she wasn’t interesting enough for him. He believed that if she would change, then he could be happy.
Well, this lady liked herself as she was! She wasn’t interested in changing her personality to suit her husband’s needs. Not surprisingly, she eventually grew tired of all her husband’s complaining, and they divorced.
Shortly thereafter, she remarried. Her second husband couldn’t believe his luck! He’d found a wife who was pretty, kind and responsible. His days with her were incredibly pleasant. And he enjoyed raising the daughter. He appreciated her child’s solid work ethic and tenacity.
Same wife. Same daughter. Very different perspectives.
The point is this this: If you don’t love your life, sure, it may be that your life is hard. You may have a terrible home situation, or you may be under financial duress. Or, you may be dealing with an illness. But it also may be that your circumstances are just fine. They may not be perfect, but they’re basically fine. And rather, it’s your perspective that’s preventing you from loving your life.
Below are simple ways that you can learn to love your life. Consider following these approaches and learn to love the life that you have today!
Focus on What Is Good in Your Life
No one has the perfect life. If you ask anyone, “How could your life be better?” most folks could easily come up with 10 ways that they could improve their lives. So, if you’re expecting the perfect life, you’re being unrealistic.
So, given that life is by definition imperfect, if you want to love your life, you have to stop focusing on what is lacking. Instead, you have to laser focus on what is good in your life. You have to “count your blessings,” as they say.
One way to focus on the good is to take an “I get to,” versus an “I have to” approach to life. Here is a simple example of this approach: I could feel sorry for myself every evening and say, “I have to cook dinner tonight.” Or, I could say to myself, “I get to cook dinner. I’m blessed to be sufficiently healthy and mobile to make my way around a kitchen. And I’m lucky enough to have the financial resources to buy the food necessary to prepare a nice dinner.” You can apply the “I get to” approach to nearly any situation.
Realize that it’s easy to put a negative spin on how you view your life. But if you do that, you’ll be miserable. Instead, if you want to love your life, change how you view your life to one of appreciation and gratitude.
I saw a wonderful quote recently which is an eye-opener for all of us who are struggling to see the good in our lives: “Some else is dreaming about the things that you take for granted.”
Capitalize on the Good You Already Have
Yet another wonderful quote that can help us to love our lives is this: “Bloom where you are planted.” All that means is that you need to take what you have today and capitalize on it.
For example, if you have a home, stop lamenting that you would like a different house. Instead, focus on taking great care of the house that you have right now. Keep it clean and in good repair. Decorate it beautifully. Make your home as lovely as possible. If you do that, you’ll enjoy the house you are in now. And pretty soon, you’ll be thinking twice about moving somewhere else!
The same holds true if you’re unhappy in your current job. Rather than feeling frustrated, try to get as much out of your job as possible. Focus on learning as much as you can from your current position. View your job as a way to get great experience, and ultimately, good references from your supervisors. When you approach your job in that way, you realize that your job it soon isn’t just a job. Rather, it’s an important stepping stone to your next, even better job.
So, an important way to love your life today is to make the most of what you currently have. Capitalize on it. Realize that the most successful people in our society are the ones who came from very little. But they chose to do something amazing with the little that they had.
Learn to Ignore the Irritations of Life
We all have frustrations in life. Everyone has to contend with irritating family members, neighbors, or co-workers (or all three!). And we all have to face inconveniences. An unexpected bill. An appliance that breaks down. A late delivery. Life is full of minor annoyances.
But if you want to learn to love your life, you have to become adept at ignoring these minor irritations. For instance, you likely have certain people in your life who are rude. Unfortunately, some people lack self-control. They say whatever flies into their heads, no matter how unpleasant. You have two choices as to how to deal with these people. You can be upset by them and live your life feeling frustrated. Or you can just ignore them and be happy.
The same holds true with life’s minor inconveniences. No matter how careful you are, and no matter how responsible you are, things break down. For instance, I have a friend who generously allowed someone to use her washing machine. He broke the machine in such a dramatic way that it could not be fixed, and now it has to be replaced. Instead of being upset, my friend has an easy-going attitude about the whole thing. She could be going through her days upset until she gets a new machine. But instead, she has chosen to just love her life and not be irritated by this temporary situation.
We all have to face minor inconveniences in life. The power goes out. Our car breaks down. A family member makes a rude comment. The list can go on and on. And if you let those inconveniences throw off your mood and your day, you won’t be able to love your life. So, when faced with those inconveniences, ignore them. Or handle them, and then quickly move on. If you do, you’ll be able to love your life, even when faced with those inevitable bumps in the road.
Celebrate the Small Wins
If you only can be happy in life when you achieve big accomplishments, then you will spend most of your life being unhappy. Because those big accomplishments are few and far between. Instead, to love your life, you have to celebrate all the small wins.
Realize that you have small wins every day. If you cook a dish, and it comes out well, that’s a small win! When someone at your job makes an appreciative comment about your hard work, that’s a small win. Finding a good parking spot, getting over a cold, and finding some time to take a walk in the middle of the day are all small wins in life. Celebrate them!
If you start celebrating all your small wins, you’ll suddenly realize how lucky you are. Acknowledging all the good in our lives changes our perspective. We go from having humdrum, unlucky lives, to having lives that are truly blessed.
The key to celebrating those small wins is to take life a little bit more slowly. When we rush through life, we fail to notice all the good things that are happening to us. So, take time to pause every so often. And when something good happens, stop! Acknowledge it in your mind, or even to someone else.
If you want to learn to love your life, try following the approaches above. Appreciate your life as it is today. If you do so, not only will you start loving your life, but your life inevitably will get better and better through your positive attitude! (To read about how to turn your problems into blessings, click here.)
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