There is always the potential for stress in our lives. Sometimes that stress is created by others. Sometimes we create it ourselves.
The problem is that stress is terrible for our bodies. It can lead to physical ailments like headaches, stomach aches, high blood pressure, chest pain and problems sleeping. In fact, studies have shown that 75% to 90% of all doctor’s visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints. The bottom line: Stress is not good for us!
But realize that stress is preventable. In fact, there are ways to approach your life so that you can dramatically reduce your stress. Below are some of those approaches. Consider adopting them, and insulate yourself against stress.
Don’t Let Others Create Stress for You
I can probably count on one hand the stressful situations that I have created in my own life. That is because I live responsibly and carefully, and I try to have good attitude. By contrast, the number of stressful situations that others have created for me is endless.
What I’ve learned over the years is that some people enjoy creating problems for others. For example, some folks create conflict for excitement because they are bored with life. Others, if they are unhappy, will drink alcohol, use drugs, and do a multitude of destructive things to create problems for themselves and others.
We all know people like this. They are selfish. The don’t care about their effect on others. They only are concerned about their small world of “me, myself and I.” In order to reduce your stress in life, you have to insulate yourself from these people.
The best way to do that is to set up your boundaries. That means saying on a regular basis, “Your problems are not my problems.” That may sound callous, but it isn’t. It is just an appropriate way to view the problems of others. That point of view allows others to properly do the work of solving their own problems.
Now, of course, I believe in helping other people. And you should be nice to other people. But there is no reason to allow other people to create stress for you. That includes your spouse, parents, siblings and friends.
Your job in life is to be happy. So, set your boundaries. Don’t adopt the problems of others as your own. Adopt puppies, cats, or even small children! But don’t adopt other people’s problems.
Now, I will warn you. When you set your boundaries and stop taking on the problems of others, some people will be unhappy. Parents disown their children when they set these kinds of boundaries. Dysfunctional marriages end when one spouse sets reasonable boundaries. Some friendships will not survive when someone sets appropriate boundaries.
But are the end of such relationships a bad thing? Do you really want to be in relationship with folks who bring stress and garbage to your life? Of course not. People like that are a nuisance. Let those folks go on their way so they can inflict their drama elsewhere.
Don’t Try to Fix “Unfixable” Problems
We create unnecessary stress for ourselves when we try to solve problems that we don’t have the power to fix. Many problems in life simply are outside of our control. Once we accept that fact, life becomes a lot less stressful.
For instance, you cannot fix other people. You cannot fix the weather. You cannot fix whether you or someone you love gets an incurable illness. Those are things that are outside of your control. And getting stressed out about them is a waste of time.
Looking back, the times in my life when I’ve been the most stressed out have been when I sought to control other people or situations. It has taken me decades to realize that I have zero control over anyone but myself. As a result, if others aren’t acting properly, all I can do is ignore them. Or I can eliminate them from my life. But I cannot change them.
So, don’t stress yourself out by trying to fix everyone and everything. You can’t control other people’s morality or force them to be responsible. Similarly, you can’t fix other people’s cruelty, lack of compassion or selfishness. All you can do is control yourself and hold yourself to the highest standard possible.
Don’t Create Your Own Stress
We each can be our own worst enemy. When we make bad decisions, we create unnecessary stress for ourselves. So, if you want to reduce the stress in your life, make good choices.
Knowing how to make good choices isn’t rocket science. We all know that we shouldn’t drink alcohol or eat to excess. We all know that we shouldn’t use drugs. We all know that we should live within our means and work hard at our jobs. None of that is a secret.
And yet, how many people fail to make these obvious good choices? Lots of people. For example, many people fail to cherish their spouses, and then they scratch their heads when they get served with divorce papers. Some people don’t work hard, and then they can’t figure out why they got fired. Some parents spend no time with their children, and then they wonder why their kid uses drugs or gets pregnant. Life is not a mystery.
It may sound boring, but your life will be much less stressful if you make good choices and just walk the straight and narrow. So, be good to your spouse. Take care of your family. Pay your bills. Spend time with your kids. Be a responsible employee (or business owner). Eat healthy food and don’t abuse alcohol. Be kind at all times. These are obvious good choices.
Truthfully, life isn’t complicated. It doesn’t have to be stressful. Some folks just like to make it harder than it has to be.
Consider using the above approaches to reduce the stress in your life. Decide to take control of what you can, make good choices and then let go of the rest. By doing so, you will increase your happiness and peace of mind. (To read about more ways to find inner peace, click here.)
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