We all want to learn how to make better decisions in life. Yet that skill eludes so many of us. For example, we all know people who’ve made bad marriage decisions. And how many people make poor choices each day regarding what they eat and drink? Other folks choose to spend their lives in the wrong career. All those bad decisions create a lot of unnecessary misery for people.
Unfortunately, we all, at times, make bad decisions. The good news is that we can learn to make better ones. Below are some ways to approach decision-making so that you can set yourself on the best life path possible.
Don’t Make Fear-Based Decisions
If you make a choice out of fear, it most assuredly will be the wrong one. For instance, many people get married for fear-based reasons. They fear being alone. They fear the possibility of never having children. Or they may fear that if they remain single, they will be failures by society’s standards.
The problem is that fear will lead you to marry the wrong person. You’ll marry the first person that comes along, rather than waiting for someone with whom you are truly compatible.
When our decisions are inspired by fear, we stop looking at the situation rationally. We, instead, do whatever will most quickly resolve our immediate fears.
To make better decisions, the key is to stop and pause. Take your time when faced with an important decision. And try, as best as you can, to look at the situation objectively.
For example, if you are planning on getting married, don’t just marry someone because you are afraid of being alone. Make sure that you love that person, and make sure that person possesses the temperament for marriage. Realize that a successful marriage requires two people who have patience, a good attitude, and emotional stability. Unfortunately, love is not enough when it comes to creating a good marriage.
The same holds true for any big life decision. Don’t make any decision out of fear. Instead, in order to make good decisions, be strategic and objective. And by all means, take your time!
To Make Better Decisions, Don’t Take Advice from the Wrong People
Before you accept advice from anyone, you need to consider their motives. For instance, parents can be a source of great advice – sometimes. It depends on their motives.
For example, if your parents want you to get married simply because they hold the institution in high regard, their advice on this issue is going to be flawed. They are going to be happy if you just get married to anyone with a pulse. However, if your parents are interested in your happiness, then their advice and perspective may be worthwhile.
The same holds true when choosing a career. Consider people’s motives. Your parents may want you to choose a lucrative career so that you can be self-sufficient. And that is a good thing! But they may be more concerned about the size of your paycheck than about your having a satisfying career. If that is the case, you may want to get advice from someone who shares your same values.
So, if you want to make better decisions, be careful when seeking advice. Seek advice from people who truly want your happiness, and who have no other agenda.
Or, better yet, get your advice from strangers! There are a plethora of books and articles out there on every topic, from relationships to careers to basic self-help. Educate yourself by reading as much as possible about your issue. Then, after doing all your research, take your own advice.
Choose Your Role Models Wisely
Often in life, our decisions are influenced by our role models. We want our lives to look like their lives! And that can be a very good thing. Choosing a solid role model is like having life map. Someone has gone before you and has shown you the way.
One of the most important role models in life was my high school music director. He was an old-fashioned sort of person who valued his family and serving his community above anything else. He had a traditional sense of right and wrong. And he had a high standard of behavior for himself and for others. They don’t make people like him anymore. His kind of clear morality was of a bygone era.
His influence in my life has been profound. What I’ve expected from both myself and from others has been shaped by my years of observing the high standards that he set for himself. I’ve based my values, to a large extent, on his. And while I may have failed at times to meet his high standards, those are the standards that I have aspired to meet.
So, choosing the right role model matters. When you pick a role model, don’t just pick someone because of their fame or success. Pick someone who holds themselves to a high standard in all things. Then when you make life decisions, you can ask yourself, “What would my role model do in this situation?”, and you’ll stay on the right track.
Consider Whether You’ll Be Happy with Your Decision 10 Years from Now
Whenever I point out to my daughter that she is making a bad decision, she always says, “Mom, that is something for future me to worry about!” It is a funny response … and a very true one. How often do we do what feels good now, even if it might hurt us in the future?
For example, bad eating habits may not seem like a big deal now, if you are young and active. But those eating habits someday will catch up with you. And today’s unhealthy food choices inevitably will lead to health issues tomorrow.
Similarly, you may not want to give your best effort to your career today. It may be easier to not challenge yourself. And you currently may be satisfied with your income. But 10 years from now, when you want to buy a house, a car or some other “big ticket” item, you’ll wish that you had given more energy to your career so that you could earn a bigger paycheck.
So, if you want to make better decisions, don’t be short-sighted. Consider whether “future you” would be happy with the decisions that you are making today.
Making good decisions is not a skill that comes naturally. Instead, it is something that we learn to do. Consider using the above approaches to get yourself on the path to making the best decisions possible. (To read about creating a great life by getting rid of what isn’t working, click here.)
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