How to Develop Great People Skills

Good people skills are critical to success in life. You cannot succeed in business or in your personal life without knowing how to get along with other people. For example, often people who lose their jobs claim it was because of “office politics.” That is just a way of saying that they couldn’t get along with other people.

Similarly, when people have fallouts with their family members, rarely is the fallout caused by a dispute over something meaningful. Rather, family fallouts occur because folks don’t have good people skills. They simply can’t figure out how to get along peaceably with their relations.

So, people skills matter. They allow us to be successful at both work and at home. Below are some ways to develop those all-important people skills so that you can be as successful as possible and enjoy great relationships with all.

Improve Your People Skills by Responding Quickly to Communication

In today’s world, great people skills require responding quickly to communication. As an example, I used to know a corporate CEO who, without fail, would respond immediately to any communication. Even if his response was to say, “I don’t know. I’ll get back to you with an answer,” you could count on an immediate response. His responses often were short, but they were nearly instantaneous.

I’ve never met anyone with people skills like his, and his responsiveness to texts, emails and phone calls was part of why he was so effective. By responding so quickly, he showed people that he respected them. And that, in turn, made people want to work with him, give him money for projects and advance his career.

In my own life, I’ve always tried to emulate him, in particular with his approach to quick responses. I type quickly, and it doesn’t take me long to respond to an email or text message. And a phone call is even quicker! By responding quickly, you show people that they matter, and that they are important to you.

So, don’t delay responding to people or ignore people. That is rude. Show people in both your personal and professional life that you respect them by being highly responsive. That one small change in how you operate will make a big difference in your relationships with other people.

Be Consistently Polite

We all have bad days, and we all get in bad moods. But realize that your bad day, bad mood or bad night’s sleep is your problem. Don’t make it the problem of others by being snotty, rude or difficult.

People with great people skills are consistently kind and affable- even when they aren’t feeling so great. Admittedly, treating others well on a consistent basis takes some maturity and self-control. But if you want to be a person with superior people skills, you need to be polite in all circumstances.

I will take this rule even one step further. You need to be polite, even when people are rude to you. Realize when you are polite in all circumstances, that doesn’t make you weak or a doormat. Rather, that makes you someone with a moral code that doesn’t waver based on what is happening around them.

To Have Great People Skills, Be Interested in Other People

One of the drawbacks of social media is that we are constantly talking about ourselves. We post our thoughts and want people to read about what we think. We post our pictures with the hope that people will look at us! And all of that leads us to be a little too self-obsessed.

To have great people skills, you need to be interested in other people. That means asking people about themselves, rather than just blathering on about yourself. If you aren’t naturally interested in other people, make it a rule to ask the other person at least one thing about themselves during every conversation. You may be surprised what you find out!

When we show an interest in other people, it makes them feel liked and cared for. And that makes people respond positively to you.

Encourage Others

One of the most important people skills that you can have is to be an encourager. The world is full of critical, difficult people. If you truly want to set yourself apart, build others up.

Encouraging others isn’t hard. We all observe people doing things well throughout the day. The problem is that we keep these thoughts inside our heads. Instead, if you see someone do something well, train yourself to immediately compliment that person.

It is a small shift in behavior, but an important one. If you encourage others, you will be surprised by how much your relationships will blossom. People will trust you because they will be confident that you appreciate them, like them, and are in their corner.

And frankly, folks want to be around encouragers. After all, who wants to be around people who are negative and critical? No one. We all gravitate toward positive individuals.

Be Kind

If you truly want to want to get along with others, it is very simple. Be kind. Kindness is about the best people skill you can have.

Admittedly, you can go through life being unkind. You can be rude, difficult and aggressive, and people probably will tolerate you. But they won’t like you. And frankly, they’ll wish you would just go away. If you really want to get along with people, be kind. All the time.

I have a neighbor from the Middle East who is an incredibly sweet person. What I appreciate about him is that he is always kind. He has a gentle manner, and whenever you talk to him, he is so dear. My neighbor is simply the personification of kindness. I sometimes think how much more beautiful the world would be if everyone was as kind as he is.

People who are truly kind have an aura about them. Their kindness is so attractive, that you want to be around them. Kindness is truly a wonderful people skill.

We all want to have great relationships with our family members, friends and colleagues. But those great relationships won’t happen if we don’t have great people skills. Consider adopting some of the people skills above, and see your relationships improve! (To read about ways to improve your relationships, click here.)