Stress is an inevitable part of life. We all have problems from time to time. We all experience bumpy periods in our relationships. And life sometimes brings unexpected tragedies, such as job loss, divorce or the death or illness of loved ones. But even though we can’t avoid stress, we can find serenity in the midst of that stress.
Realize that people who seem to be calm when under stress aren’t just mentally stronger than everyone else. Rather, they have specific techniques that they use when dealing with difficult situations.
Below are techniques that you can use to maintain your serenity, even in the midst of stressful situations. Consider applying them in your own life, and see how you can maintain your serenity in the midst of stress.
When Under Stress, Focus on What You Can Control
Here is what you can actually control in your life: You can control how you treat other people. When confronted with a difficult situation, you can control how you react. If you have goals that you want to achieve, you can control how much time you spend working to achieve those goals. You can control what you do with your free time. That’s it. Every other aspect of your life is outside of your control.
For example, you can’t control what others do or say. Whether other people like you or not is not under your control. The economy and your career opportunities are similarly outside of your control. You can’t control if your marriage will be a success or will end in divorce. Whether your loved ones will become ill, and when they will die is sadly outside of your control. So, spending your mental and emotional energy on any of these issues is pointless.
Instead, to maintain your serenity in the midst of stress, you need to spend your energy on what you can control – yourself. For example, a number of years ago, my husband was hospitalized and on life support for a number of days. It was one of the most highly stressful situations that I’ve ever faced.
Initially, I was overwhelmed and unsure of how to handle the situation. But then I decided to control what I could in that situation – myself. I pulled myself together and focused on consulting with his doctors. I did research to understand every aspect of his medical situation. And I prayed – a lot.
That was all I could do. I could not control whether my husband lived or died. The only thing I could control was how I handled the situation. That was all that was in my power. As soon as I recognized that fact, I was able to function with a level of calm and serenity that I wouldn’t otherwise have had.
So, realize that when you are under stress, you need to focus on the one thing that you can control – yourself. If you give your mental and emotional energy to those things that you can’t control, you will make yourself miserable. By focusing solely on what you reasonably can do to improve the situation, you will be able to maintain your serenity in the midst of stress.
Have Positive Distractions
Typically, I am not a big fan of distractions. On occasion, I enjoy watching a good movie, and I truly enjoy reading books of every genre. But mostly, I like to be active. I like accomplishing things, whether it be writing, cooking a good meal, beautifying my home, or learning another language.
All that being said, when you are under stress, you need to give yourself a mental break with positive distractions. For example, read books that transport you to another place and time. Watch movies or television shows that are light and funny. Do wholesome things that get your mind off your immediate problem.
Realize that you won’t be able to solve your problem simply by focusing all your mental energy on it. If only that were the case! Unfortunately, that approach is recipe for driving yourself crazy.
Instead, once you have done all that you can do to improve a situation, give your brain a break. Engage positive distractions in order to give yourself a mental break from your stress. Then when you return to the situation, you will be refreshed, serene, and ready to face it with a clear head.
Remember That This Too Shall Pass
Our lives are in a constant state of change. If you just look back over the course of your life, you’ll realize that nothing stays the same. And, in fact, life often changes when we least expect it.
So, when facing a stressful situation, realize that these circumstances will not last forever. For example, many years ago, I was getting divorced. At the time I thought, “How will I manage this stress?” During that period, my head and stomach hurt almost constantly, and my hair became gray from the stress. Worse yet, it seemed like that bad situation would go on forever.
But within a year, my life had changed completely. I’d moved and gotten a great job. Then I met a wonderful man. And two years later, I was happily remarried.
My point is that life does not stay the same. Our circumstances constantly change. And if you work hard, are kind and keep a good attitude, very often your circumstances will change for the better.
So, realize that any difficult situation that you are facing is temporary. When you realize that your situation isn’t permanent, you can be serene knowing that, “This too shall pass.”
Consider using the above strategies the next time you are facing a stressful situation. Maintaining your serenity in stressful situations is not something that comes naturally to most of us. It is something that we each have to work at. However, if you use the above strategies, over time, it will become easier, and you will be able to maintain your serenity in all situations. (To read about being at peace in a chaotic world, click here.)
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