Achieving inner peace is challenging. It’s not something that comes naturally to us. The human mind searches for things that are wrong so that we can fix those things!
But to achieve inner peace you have to stop focusing on what is (or was) wrong with your life. Instead, you need to learn to be content with your life as a whole. You need to accept your past, be OK with your present, and be hopeful about your future. You need to be happy with who you are as a person, with your strengths, as well as with your weaknesses.
That is not an easy place to get to. Most people go through life with some level of uneasiness. They may be burdened by regrets from the past. Or they may be dissatisfied with their present life. Or they may fear what is coming in the future.
But realize that achieving inner peace doesn’t require us to change our lives. Instead, to achieve inner peace, we need to change how we view our lives. Below are some ways to change your perspective on your life, so that you can find that inner peace that you are seeking.
To Achieve Inner Peace, Don’t Expect Life to Be Perfect
No one’s life is perfect. Everyone has difficulties. In fact, very few people go through life without experiencing some moments of tragedy. We simply cannot avoid suffering. It is part of the human experience.
So, don’t feel uneasy or be sad because your life has been imperfect. Accept that bad things happen to good people. Innocent children are raised by terrible parents. Decent people get divorced. Fatal illnesses strike the kindest of people.
For example, my life has been far from perfect. I had a difficult childhood. I got divorced. I’ve lost people to unexpected illnesses, and I continue to miss their presence in my life. Admittedly, I’ve been envious of those whose lives have seemed easier than mine.
But over the years, I’ve come to accept that life is, by definition, imperfect. And once I accepted that fact, then I was able to find inner peace. I’ve been able to accept both the good and the bad as an inevitable part of human existence.
I’ve also realized that enduring difficult experiences, while unfortunate, has changed me for the better. It has made me more compassionate toward others. It has turned me into a kinder and gentler person. In fact, life’s imperfections, if dealt with correctly, ultimately can change your character for the better.
To Achieve Inner Peace, Don’t Live in Shame
We all make mistakes. Each of us has hurt other people, and we’ve each done things that are regrettable. We are human beings, and therefore, we are fallible. Unfortunately, we don’t always behave in a manner that reflects our values.
So, don’t be ashamed of yourself because you’ve made some mistakes. Shame is an emotion that prevents us from loving ourselves. Love yourself, and be easy on yourself. We aren’t defined by our mistakes.
Instead, repent. Recognize your errors. If appropriate, ask for forgiveness from other people. Ask for forgiveness from God. And then forgive yourself. Be at peace with yourself because you aren’t expected to be a perfect person. No one is perfect.
Like Yourself
There are lots of people in this world who don’t like themselves. They are too self-critical. They hold themselves to impossible standards. And, as a result, they are never at ease with themselves.
This is a self-defeating attitude. You’ll never be the smartest person on earth. Someone will always be smarter. You’ll never be the most beautiful. There will always be someone on earth who is more lovely than you. You’ll never be the richest or most successful. So, refusing to like yourself unless you are the best is a recipe for self-hatred.
I spent many years in my 20s and 30s being very hard on myself. I held myself to a very high standard. And I could never measure up to that standard. It didn’t help that we live in a very critical world. So, the world (friends, family, peers) reinforced my feelings that I just wasn’t good enough.
But as I’ve become older, I’ve learned to like myself. I’ve learned to be happy with the unique package of qualities that I am. I don’t look at anyone else and say, “I wish I was him or her.” Instead, I like myself just as I am, and that allows me to have inner peace.
People Who Have Inner Peace Don’t Worry
Worrying about the future is a pointless exercise. You cannot control what the future will hold. That is because so many things in life are outside of our control. All you can do is to prepare yourself mentally for whatever may come.
I spent many years being worried about life. For example, I worried about my financial future during the 2009 recession. Then, I worried about my financial future when I got divorced. I’ve worried about my daughter’s safety at school ever since the rise in school shootings. I worried about my husband’s health for many years when he had heart issues. And all that worrying accomplished nothing.
Worrying simply steals our peace. It leaves us going through life feeling uneasy, but doesn’t make our lives any better.
These days, I don’t worry. Instead, I try to focus on building my resilience. I work at having a calm mind and a good attitude. Instead of sweeping problems under the rug, I try to address them quickly. I try to solve the problems that I can solve, and I accept what is outside of my control. In doing so, I can be at peace with whatever the future holds for me.
Finding inner peace is not an easy task. People work at achieving that kind of peace for their entire lives. The key is to have a healthy and positive attitude and perspective on life. Consider following the approaches above and resolve to achieve inner peace in your life. (To read about the power of changing your perspective, click here).
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