There is no way to avoid occasionally being uncomfortable in life. Uncomfortable experiences happen to all of us, from time to time. For instance, conflict is uncomfortable. And so is change. Disappointment is uncomfortable, as well. But the key to being content in life isn’t to try to avoid those experiences. Rather, the key to life is to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, many people do whatever they can to avoid being uncomfortable. So, they’ll stay in a miserable marriage to avoid the discomfort of a divorce. Or, they’ll continue working in a job that they hate to avoid the discomfort of starting a new job. And as a result, their lives end up being so much less satisfying.
However, if you want to live your best life possible, you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, at times. Below are ways to do just that!
Get Comfortable with Conflict
In order to have a good life, one of the most important skills that you can learn is how to be comfortable with conflict. That is because conflict is an unavoidable part of life.
For example, at one time or another, you likely will have to deal with someone who gets their way by pitching a fit. And if you fear conflict, you’ll spend your life giving into their tantrums to avoid conflict. And effectively, you’ll be a hostage to their whims and demands.
If you have to deal with people like that (and we all do at one time or another), you need to get comfortable with the discomfort of conflict.
It took me many years to get comfortable with conflict. After all, I like getting along with folks. And I don’t like to disappoint.
But one day, I woke up and realized that I was living in a life that I didn’t want to live, and I was spending my time doing things I didn’t want to do, for the sake of avoiding conflict. And while that may have made me more likeable (after all, we all love folks who are “easy going”), I was profoundly unhappy. I was living an inauthentic life.
So, I got comfortable with conflict. And it was the best thing that I ever did. Once I became comfortable with the discomfort of conflict, I was able to get my life back on the right track. I gave up worrying about whether others would pitch a fit, and I moved to a place that I loved. I then got a job that was professionally satisfying, and I got back to doing the things that I enjoyed.
And while I still don’t enjoy conflict (who does?), I don’t avoid it. In fact, I’m extremely comfortable with conflict, and with people not being happy with me. Because ultimately, as long as I am happy with myself, it’s all good!
Get Comfortable with Change
If there is anything that we can rely on in life it’s that it changes – constantly. Fighting that fact is futile.
So, it’s important to get comfortable with the discomfort of change. Realize that change is stressful in all forms. Even good change can be stressful!
For instance, let’s say that you are marrying the person of your dreams. That doesn’t mean that all the changes that come along with leaving single life and entering marriage won’t be stressful.
Or you may have gotten a great job. Even if you are excited for the new opportunity, you’ll still feel some stress due to the changes that come with a new job, including new responsibilities.
The key to getting comfortable with change is to keep some constants in your life while going through it. For instance, when you are experiencing a major life change, try to stick with your routines. Get up at the same time every morning and have your traditional breakfast. If you pray or meditate every day, keep up that practice!
Change becomes manageable when you restrict the change to one area of your life. If the whole kitten-caboodle is changing, that can be overwhelming. So, keep up your good habits and routines during times of change. Being comfortable with being uncomfortable when faced with change is much easier when you have constants in your life. (To read about how to deal with change, click here.)
Get Comfortable with Disappointment
Getting comfortable with disappointment isn’t easy! We all want to be successful in life, and in all areas of life. For instance, we want to get the jobs that we apply for. We want our marriages to succeed. And we want the people we love to always be healthy and with us.
But we know that life simply doesn’t work that way. Inevitably, there will be disappointments. Job loss, failed relationships and the death of loved ones are experiences that most people have, at one time or another. Not to mention that we face simple disappointments daily, when life just doesn’t go our way.
But if you want to live life to the fullest, you need to get comfortable with disappointment. The problem is that if you aren’t comfortable with disappointment, you won’t try new things. You’ll live life in the safe lane. And while staying in the safe lane decreases your likelihood of being disappointed, you’ll also not have the chance for great success!
For example, if you fear getting hurt, you may not pursue a romantic relationship. Now, I will admit that every relationship comes with the potential for hurt and disappointment. But every relationship also has the potential for great joy and companionship.
The same holds true when pursuing a career option. Let’s say that you really want to own a flower shop. Well, being an entrepreneur is a risky business. Many businesses fail. So, you could take the safe route, and simply work for someone else.
But if you settle for being someone else’s employee, you give up the potential rewards of having your own business. Yes, your business could fail. But it also could be a great success!
As the Japanese proverb goes, “If you try, you may succeed. If you don’t try, you will not succeed.” Wise words.
This week, consider the ways in which you need to work at getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you do, you will become more at ease with the highs and lows of life. And you will be ready to take the risks necessary to live your fullest and richest life!
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