Do you ever feel like your life is off-kilter, but you can’t figure out why? Perhaps you feel a certain sense of malaise for no reason in particular. If so, it may be because your life currently doesn’t align with your values.
If you are in that situation, know that you are not alone. We all feel that way sometimes. We may work at a job where we spend 8 hours a day doing something that doesn’t align with what we care about. Or we may spend too much time with people who don’t share our personal ethics. And when that happens, we get that funny feeling in the pit of our stomachs that something just isn’t right.
Below are ways to get your life back on track so that you can start living a life that aligns with your values. Create a values-driven life, and see how much happier and more content you can be.
To Create a Values-Driven Life, Find a Job That Matches What You Care About
Employment is an important part of life. Not only do our jobs pay the bills, but we spend a lot of time at work. Most jobs will consume 8 hours of our day. Sometimes more! That is why it is critical to spend those hours at a job that aligns with our values.
Early on in my career, I made the mistake of working at a job which didn’t align with what mattered to me. I worked at an accounting firm, and I desperately wanted to do a great job. So, I worked very hard. But regardless of how hard I worked, I wasn’t successful.
The problem was that I really didn’t care about whether companies could protect their profits by reducing their taxes. Now, of course, I can see why companies want to pay less taxes. It allows them to put their profits towards things like paying their employees higher salaries and investing in R&D. But corporate taxation was not something that mattered to me. So, after two years of struggling to be successful doing a job that didn’t match what I valued, I left the job. I then was lucky enough to get a job with the government as a public servant. And because I care about helping others and serving society, that was a professional environment where I could be successful!
The good news is that lots of jobs can align with your values. Let’s say that you value being kind to others. Any job in the service sector – from being a checkout clerk at Walmart to being a sales consultant at Sephora – can give you daily opportunities to show kindness to others! Or you may value improving the environment. If so, a job with your town’s parks department may feel quite good to you.
The key is to figure out what matters to you. Then you can find a job where you spend your days doing something that aligns with your values. The good news is that when you find a job that aligns with your values, your professional life just “clicks.” Your career falls into place, and that feels great!
Make Sure Your Free Time Aligns with Your Values
To create a values-driven life, not only should our working hours align with our values, but our free time should as well. We all know this to be true. If you’ve ever spent a weekend doing things that you just don’t care about, you know how frustrating that can be.
The challenge is that other people tend to hijack our free time. If you don’t have something specifically scheduled, people may say, “Oh, you aren’t working? Well, then can you do X for me?” (In fact, if there were two words that I would eliminate from the English language, they would be the words “Can you?” Because those two words always precede a request to waste someone else’s free time.)
So, to ensure that your free time aligns with your values, you have to fight for your free time. But it is a battle well worth fighting! I spent many years of my life having my free time consumed by other people’s nonsense activities. As a result, I had no time to do the things that I valued, like reading, playing my piano, and quietly spending time in nature.
In fact, the most liberating decision I ever made was to take charge of my free time. These days, my free time is almost exclusively spent doing the things that I value – and nothing more. I know what is important to me, and I make sure that my free time is spent doing only those things that interest me and that I care about. And that feels fantastic. Because my free time is aligned with my values, my life feels very good.
So, if you seek to create a values-driven life, take a hard look at your free time. Are you spending your free time doing those things that interest you and that are important to you? Or is your time being hijacked by the interests and desires of others? Your free time is incredibly precious. Make sure that it is spent doing those things that matter to you.
Limit Your Time with Folks Who Don’t Share Your Values
No matter how independent you may be, your friends, family members and colleagues have an effect on your life. And if those folks don’t share your values, you’ll spend your life “swimming upstream,” as it were. However, if you surround yourself with like-minded people, your life will “flow” more easily.
For instance, let’s say that being a member of a religious community (whether it be a church, synagogue or mosque), is important to you. Being married to someone who doesn’t share that value is difficult. One of the many reasons why my husband and I enjoy being married is that is that we both value being members of a church community. As a practical matter, it makes life a lot less complicated since we both are in agreement as to how we are going to spend our time on Sunday morning!
Or perhaps you value a healthy lifestyle. You may be trying to be more conscious about the way you eat and drink. If you value being healthy, then it is hard to go out to dinner with a group and order a salad and a cup of tea, while everyone else is ordering burgers and beer. Frankly, it is hard to stick to a healthy diet, when you are surrounded by burgers and beer!
You, of course, can keep up your relationships with friends and family members who don’t share your same values. The reality is that you aren’t going to find another living being on this planet who sees the world exactly the way you do. So, part of being a mature individual is being able to get along with people with whom you don’t see eye-to-eye. However, it does make life a lot easier if you spend the bulk of your time with people who share your same values.
So, when creating a values-driven life, surround yourself with folks who share your same values! Try spending more of your time with folks who value the same things that you do, and see how much easier your life can be.
If you want to create a values-driven life, consider following the approaches above. Realize that a values-driven life won’t happen by accident. Instead, you have to create it. You have to be intentional with how you spend your time and with whom you spend your time. But once you do the work of creating a values-driven life, you’ll see how much happier and easier life can be! (To read about creating a values-based approach to time management, click here.)
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1 The hardest part Read more
There are times in life when our circumstances can prevent us from being relaxed and happy. Dramatic changes like a Read more
When we are young, we seek many things in life. Adventure. Professional success. Romance. But as we get older, and Read more
There is always the potential for stress in our lives. Sometimes that stress is created by others. Sometimes we create Read more
The holidays can be difficult for many adults. That is because we have an idealized view of what Christmas and Read more
Achieving inner peace is challenging. It's not something that comes naturally to us. The human mind searches for things that Read more
Recently a friend of mine turned 50. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said, “Peace.” Read more
“It ain’t over till it’s over” – Yogi Berra Yogi Berra made the above comment during the 1973 National League Read more
