At one time or another, we all have felt stuck in life. If you feel that way, know that you are not alone. You might feel stuck in a bad relationship. Or you may feel stuck in a dead-end job. Perhaps you feel stuck because you have dreams that you wanted to accomplish, and you aren’t making any progress.
Feeling stuck on occasion isn’t unusual. After all, life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes we go down roads that we think will lead to sunny pastures, and they instead lead to swamps! So, there is nothing wrong with getting stuck. It happens to everyone. The challenge is getting un-stuck.
Unfortunately, many folks get stuck in life, and then they decide to set up camp and stay there! For instance, I’ve known people who chose to stay stuck in dysfunctional marriages for decades. I’ve also known people who spent their entire careers at jobs where they were unfulfilled. Those folks didn’t realize that being stuck doesn’t have to be a permanent situation!
Below are ways to deal with being stuck in life. Consider applying these approaches as you work to get yourself un-stuck and on the path to a better life!
Accept That Other People May Want You to Stay Stuck
People tend to hate change. Some people even hate good change. For instance, let’s say that you are in a terrible marriage. You’re miserable, and there’s absolutely no hope of the relationship improving. And this is abundantly obvious to your friends and family. If you decide to leave your spouse and get divorced, be prepared for the fact that some of your friends and family will be upset with you. It may seem irrational, but many people would rather see you be miserable than have to endure the changes that come when two people get divorced.
The reality is that there are people who would prefer to see you stuck and wasting your life away, rather than experience change.
For example, I had an aunt whose husband died of cancer. She was truly devoted to him, and she took care of him until the very end. After he died, she was lonely and grief-stricken. Not long after her husband’s death, she met a very nice gentleman. They fell in love, and she decided to remarry. However, her children were opposed to the marriage. In their minds, seeing their mother alone and sad was preferable to her being remarried and happy.
Unfortunately, people can be very selfish. So, if you want to get un-stuck in life, accept that you may meet resistance when trying to change your life for the better.
The good news is that the people who truly care about you will want you to be happy. They won’t want you to be stuck in a miserable life. As a result, they’ll encourage you to do whatever is necessary so that you can live your Best Life. And they’ll whole-heartedly support your efforts to get un-stuck.
Visualize the Life That You Want
When we are stuck, we know that we don’t want the life that we are currently living. For example, we may want to be in a better relationship. Or we may want a new, more rewarding job. Or we may want to live in a nicer part of the world. The problem is that we may not know precisely what we are seeking.
If you feel stuck, but you aren’t sure how to make your life better, then consider starting a visualization practice. Spend some time each day thinking about your ideal life. What does it look like?
For instance, what does your perfect relationship look like? What qualities are you are seeking in an ideal mate? Or, what does your ideal job look like? Do you want to work from home, or do you like being in an office environment? Do you want to directly serve people, or do you want to perform tasks? What is your perfect place to live? Do you like city life, or would you prefer to live in the countryside?
If you are stuck and unhappy, now is the time to nail down what exactly it is that you are seeking. You don’t want to go from one unfulfilling situation to another. Instead, instead you want to use this situation as an opportunity. This is your opportunity to figure out what you really want from life and to create the life of your dreams.
Realize That Being Stuck Is Not a Waste of Time
I will concede that being stuck is frustrating. For instance, it is difficult to be in a bad relationship or job. You end up spending large parts of your day wondering if you’ll ever get out of your bad situation. However, don’t view being stuck as a waste of time. Instead, realize that being stuck is actually a good thing!
Being stuck simply shows us what we don’t want in life. Admittedly, when we are young, life is like a big buffet. Everything looks good! The problem is that everything at the buffet isn’t going to be your cup of tea. Some things at the buffet will naturally suit you, and some just won’t.
For example, early on in my career, I worked at a big corporation. It was one of my options at the professional buffet, and it looked pretty good! However, I soon realized that the corporate environment wasn’t for me. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with working at a corporation. Lots of people find that to be a satisfying work environment. It just wasn’t my cup of tea, and I ended up feeling very stuck at that job.
However, with hindsight, I now know that “stuck” period wasn’t a waste of time. It taught me a lot about myself and the type of work that suited me.
So, if you are feeling stuck, don’t treat this period of your life as a waste of time. Consider it to be an opportunity to learn about yourself and to learn about your likes and dislikes.
Be Brave Enough to Change Your Life
Many people in this world never drum up the courage to get un-stuck. So, they languish in bad marriages and tell themselves, “This isn’t so bad. We get along … sometimes.” Or they spend their careers in an unsatisfying job, but they say, “Well, it pays the bills. And it’s comfortable.” Or they have dreams that they want to accomplish, but they can’t seem to make progress. So, they say, “Well, I guess I’ll give up on that dream. I just don’t have the extra time to make that dream a reality.”
The problem is that life is finite. We don’t have limitless time on this earth. And those years that you spend being stuck are lost. You can’t get them back again.
So, if you are stuck, be willing to make a change in your life. In fact, be willing to make a bunch of changes. Figure out what kind of life you want, and be willing to do whatever is necessary to create your ideal life.
The one thing I know about life is this: No one else is going to get you unstuck. No one else is going to create your ideal life for you. You have to pursue it.
If you feel stuck in life, consider following the approaches above. More likely than not, you aren’t as stuck as you think you are. Make some tough choices, get unstuck, and live the life that you were meant to live.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1 The hardest part Read more
There are times in life when our circumstances can prevent us from being relaxed and happy. Dramatic changes like a Read more
When we are young, we seek many things in life. Adventure. Professional success. Romance. But as we get older, and Read more
There is always the potential for stress in our lives. Sometimes that stress is created by others. Sometimes we create Read more
The holidays can be difficult for many adults. That is because we have an idealized view of what Christmas and Read more
Achieving inner peace is challenging. It's not something that comes naturally to us. The human mind searches for things that Read more
Recently a friend of mine turned 50. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said, “Peace.” Read more
“It ain’t over till it’s over” – Yogi Berra Yogi Berra made the above comment during the 1973 National League Read more
