Change is difficult for all of us. If you find major life changes to be stressful, know that you are not alone! However, the one thing we can count on in life is change. It is inevitable. So, it is important to find positive ways to deal with change.
Some folks will do anything to avoid change. But realize that avoiding change may not be to your benefit. For example, many people avoid change by staying in dysfunctional marriages. They would rather be unhappy than face the upheavals that come with a divorce. Other folks avoid change by staying in dead end jobs. They’d prefer to remain in a familiar workplace rather than deal with the challenges that come with a new job.
Avoiding changes that will benefit us is a form of self-sabotage. When we avoid changes that are good for us, we have no one to blame but ourselves if we are unhappy.
And of course, some of the changes that we have to deal with aren’t good changes. Life events like the death of loved ones and job layoffs can be stressful and even overwhelming.
Whether the changes that we face are good or bad, it is critical that we learn how to effectively deal with change. Below are ways that you can positively deal with changes in your life.
Deal with Change Positively by Becoming an Expert at Making Lemonade Out of Lemons
If you want to be happy in life, you need to become adept at transforming bad life changes to your benefit. In other words, you need to become an expert at making lemonade out of lemons.
For example, many years ago, I had to move overseas. It wasn’t a change that I wanted, and I had no interest in moving to that particular country. Nevertheless, I decided to make the most of what was an undesirable life change.
While overseas, I made friends, and learned about another culture. And I had the rewarding experience of volunteering to help poor and abused women in that country. That volunteering experience gave me a greater insight into how incredibly vulnerable some people are in our world. In short, even though I wasn’t happy about the change, I chose to make lemonade out of lemons.
And that is the key to dealing with most changes in life that we aren’t happy about. When we are able to find something good, even in a bad situation, we develop the skill of dealing positively with change.
View Life Not as A Long Story, But as a Book with Many Chapters
Often in life, change involves ending one part of our lives, beginning another. And that is hard. Endings are sad, whether they be the end of relationships or jobs, or even the end of a way of life.
It is easier to deal with life changes if you recognize that life is meant to be a series of chapters. Throughout our lives we have some chapters that end and new ones that begin. That is natural. And if you accept that fact of life, it makes the transition from one chapter to the next much easier.
For instance, this past year, the chapter of my being a full-time mother ended when my daughter went to college. The ending was bittersweet. I, of course, was sad to no longer be a 24/7 mom. But I also was so proud of my daughter for growing up into such a lovely, young lady.
And with the end of that chapter came a new chapter for me – the “empty nest” chapter. And after shedding some tears over the end of the “full-time mom” chapter, I decided that this next chapter of my life needed to be great! This chapter was my time to give more energy to my writing and other passions. And I’ve done exactly that!
So, to deal with change positively, it is important to recognize that life has its chapters. And with the right attitude, each new chapter can bring new blessings.
Don’t Become Bitter from Change – Become Better
There are lots of people out there who become bitter after experiencing an unwanted change. Those are the folks who are still upset about the divorce that happened years ago. Or they continue to be angry about a job loss that occurred decades ago.
The key to dealing positively with change – even a bad change – is to not let it make you bitter. Instead, it should inspire you to become better.
For example, don’t shed tears over a marriage that failed. Yes, that change was hard, and your feelings may have been hurt. But better to dust yourself off, and find someone with whom you can have a great marriage. Or, if marriage isn’t your cup of tea, then enjoy your new found freedom as a single person. But don’t spend your days bitter over a relationship that just didn’t work out.
The same holds true for any major change in life. The key is to not be bitter, but instead, find ways to come out of any change better than you were before.
For example, I have a friend who lost his job a number of years ago. Not only did the job loss hurt his finances, but it understandably was a discouraging experience. And yet, he didn’t let the job loss affect his ambition. After losing his job, he was driven to find an even better job. And within a year, he had an even better, higher paying job at a company where he was highly valued.
The key for my friend was that he didn’t become bitter over the job loss. Instead, he accepted the change. And he decided that he wanted his next job to be even better. And it was!
Change is an inevitable part of life. That is why it is so important to find positive ways to deal with change. Consider using the above strategies so that you can come out of any life change even better than before. (To read about taking responsibility for your happiness, click here.)
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