The best thing that you can do for your mental health is to have periods of solitude each day. We all need time away from people. For example, there are some people in our lives who are challenging to be around. So, for our sanity, we need breaks from them. There also are folks in our lives who are simply lovely. Believe it or not, we need breaks from them too!
Why is solitude so important? Well, because you can’t fully relax around other people. When we’re around other people, we’re engaged with them. Solitude gives us a chance to fully disengage from the world.
When we disengage, we’re able to reflect on life. And clear our minds. There’s a lot to be said for taking time out of your day to simply be alone, look at the trees and listen to the birds. We need peaceful moments like that, when we can take a deep breath and just BE.
If you are able to set aside a couple of times each day to be alone, what you’ll find is that solitude is powerful! Read below about ways that you can use solitude to improve your life and become so much happier!
Use Solitude to Avoid Burnout
The main reason why we need solitude is that other people can be draining. For example, our employers can be demanding. Spouses and children can be needy. You may even have friends and family members who wear you out with their expectations.
The problem is that if you’re a nice, capable person, you’re going to try to meet the needs of all those people. But that’s a recipe for exhaustion and burnout. So, it’s important to take breaks from people, on occasion.
What you’ll find is that if you take a break from demanding people, you’ll have an epiphany. And that epiphany will be that the folks who need so much of your time really should be meeting their own needs. And from that epiphany, you can take a new wiser approach to your relationships. You may decide to limit how much you do for others. Because there is no point in your running yourself ragged so others can take it easy!
It’s hard to have those kinds of epiphanies when you’re in the midst of people. So, if you’re feeling burned out, take a break from people! Time alone often allows us to have a wiser perspective on how to deal with others.
Take Time Alone for Personal Reflection
It’s hard to think clearly when we’re surrounded by people. People are noisy. And sometimes we need silence and solitude to really be able to think.
I often have realizations about life during periods of solitude. For instance, recently I felt out of sorts but didn’t know why. I was lucky enough to have some time alone, and after a couple of hours of solitude, I realized that I was out of sorts because I’d been neglecting my writing, an activity which gives me great pleasure.
Interestingly, there are all kinds of revelations that you can have, if you simply take some time alone for personal reflection. For example, when you have time to sit and think without distraction, you may realize that you’re being worn out by a particular relationship. Or you may realize that your job is no longer satisfying, and you need to find a new position. Alternatively, you may realize that you need to take more time for self-care.
So, use your solitude as a time for personal reflection. Take time to think about your life without the distraction of other people. Solitude is a powerful tool that you can use to have revelations that start you on the path to positive change.
Use Alone Time to Combat Communication Overload
Realize that we don’t just need a break from the physical presence of other people. We also need a break from their electronic presence.
In today’s world, folks expect you to be available electronically. All the time. And it’s just too much communication.
I’m from a generation in which, outside of family members, folks didn’t expect to be available at the drop of a hat. Instead, if they wanted to speak to you, they scheduled a meeting. Or they planned to meet you for a cup of coffee. But no one expected to have immediate access to you.
Unfortunately, technology has brought a new approach to communication. People now want to communicate with you whenever a thought flies into their heads. This new approach isn’t an improvement.
In my own life, there are only a few people with whom I’m interested in communicating out of the blue. But thanks to technology, there are plenty of people who would like to communicate with me without advance notice, via chat, text or Zoom. It’s irritating.
The only way to combat being bombarded by electronic communication and have a reasonable amount of solitude is to set your boundaries. For instance, I don’t feel obliged to answer the phone, hop on Zoom, or respond to chat or text messages with immediacy. I feel very comfortable with allowing people to wait. If I don’t set those kinds of boundaries, other folks will hijack my time whenever they feel like it.
And I can assure you that my aversion to today’s constant electronic communication isn’t my strange quirk. Everyone I talk to about this subject says the same thing: Society’s current demand for immediate electronic communication is too much. And it’s making people miserable.
So, be mindful that solitude doesn’t just mean having a physical break from other human beings. It also means having an electronic break from them, as well.
Use Solitude to Commit to Living Authentically
During the course of your life, people will have opinions about you, who you should be, and how you should operate. And that would be fine if those folks didn’t also express those opinions. But many folks will let you know exactly what they think about you, whether you ask for their opinion or not.
The problem is that the opinions of others can influence us. After all, most of us naturally want to fit in with society. So, if someone says, “You know, you really should become a doctor. That’s a good profession,” you may try to go to medical school, even if you have no interest in medicine or dealing with other people’s bodies.
For example, over the years, people have offered all kinds of opinions to me about as to how I should change my personality. I’ve been told I should be more adventurous/ambitious/easy-going/cool, etc. And when I first heard those comments, initially I thought there might be some truth to them.
But once I had some time alone, I realized that those opinions were nonsense. I like who I am. And I have no desire to change myself!
But that realization after I took time away from people. Solitude allows us to shut out the noise of other people’s opinions. The good news is that once you have some time alone, you’ll realize that your unique self is perfect. And the opinions of others are just that – mere opinions.
If you are seeking to use the power of solitude to improve your life, consider following the approaches above. Alone time is a wonderful way that to get a proper perspective on life. And with the right perspective, you can be so much happier! (To read about how to quiet an anxious mind, click here.)
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