The Three Foundations for A Good Life: Simplicity, Patience and Compassion

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion.  These three are your greatest treasures.”

Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu was an ancient Chinese philosopher and is considered to be the founder of Taoism.  (I’ll note that modern scholars believe that Lao Tzu never actually existed, but rather, he was a legendary figure.)  The above quote is from the Tao Te Ching, the book which he is credited with writing. 

The Tao Te Ching is believed to have been written around the 4^th century B.C., and the quote above reminds us that the challenges of being human have not changed over time.  We may have evolved in terms of having running water, electricity and the Internet.  Yet, we continue to struggle with how to be content in this life, and how to be decent human beings. 

The good news is that we can learn a lot from those who have come before us.  And if we want to live a good life, we should consider following Lao Tzu’s advice and make Simplicity, Patience and Compassion the foundation for our lives. 

Below are ways to incorporate these three virtues into your everyday life.  Consider following these approaches, and see how much happier and more wholesome your life can become.

Simplicity

It’s much easier to be happy if you keep your life simple.  A complicated life is a life filled with aggravation.

There is a saying that always gives me a chuckle, “More stuff, more problems.”   Over the years, I’ve known people who liked to accumulate nonsense.  Clothes, electronics, knickknacks, memorabilia.  And as a result, they had no savings and no space in their homes.  Their excess stuff truly gave them excess problems!

I’ve also known people who jump from one job to another.  No sooner have they become acclimated to their job responsibilities and colleagues at one place than they feel the need to jump ship.  They are in pursuit of the elusive “dream job.”  Or that higher paycheck.  But they’re always agitated because jumping from one job to the next is stressful!

Some folks have a neurotic need to move.  They can’t stay in one place for long.  So, as soon as they become acclimated to a place and create friendships, they then decide (against all reason) to move somewhere else.  As a result, they never develop lifelong friendships.  Instead, they accumulate lots of acquaintances. 

Here’s the thing.  Knickknacks, shoes, new jobs and new places are satisfying – momentarily.  And then all that unnecessary complication makes your life more aggravating than it needs to be.

If you want to live a content, happy life, live simply.  Keep your belongings to a minimum.  Stop accumulating and save your pennies for a rainy day.  Instead, focus on taking impeccable care of what you already have. 

Moreover, give your time and energy to your current relationships.  Treat the people already in your life carefully, with kindness and respect.  Develop those existing relationships so that they are solid, so that the people in your life truly know you and feel supported by you.  And give you current job your best effort, and be a blessing to your colleagues.

Ironically, if you adopt a simple lifestyle, you’ll find that your life is more substantial.  Having less stuff will lead you to adopt a better relationship with your belongings.  Settling long-term into a job and a community will provide you with friendships and family relationships that are meaningful because they’ve been developed over time.  And that is the way that to achieve true happiness. (If you would like to read more about simple living, I highly recommend “Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism” by Fumio Sasaki. It’s one of those books that I couldn’t put down.)

Patience

The second foundation for a good life is patience.  In fact, one of the most beneficial virtues that you can develop is patience. 

Being patient really is about acceptance.  It’s about accepting the imperfection of life.  And being able to carry on with a positive attitude anyway.

The good news is that if you develop patience, you stand a good chance of accomplishing things in life.  For example, my husband and I both like to study languages.  He has committed himself to studying Spanish, and I am working on both Spanish and French. 

Now, most folks don’t get anywhere with studying a second language because they lack patience.  They don’t understand that you aren’t going to learn a language in a month or a year.  Rather, the study of a second language is a life-long pursuit.  You have to be patient and accept that with each passing year you will become incrementally more skilled in the language that you have chosen to study. 

In fact, patience is required when pursuing any major goal.  The folks who actually accomplish big goals in life are the ones who are patient.  They are the ones who are willing to stay the course, and keep working at something, even if it takes a long time.

The same holds true in relationships.  There is no relationship which doesn’t require a certain level of patience.  For instance, I found raising a child to be the most rewarding thing that I’ve done in this life.  Yet, as any parent knows, raising children requires a lot of patience.  I’ll admit that sometimes during my parenting journey, I wasn’t as patient as I should have been.  But when I have been patient as a parent, it has paid off. Those were the moments when I not only grew as a parent, but also as a human being.

What I know for sure is this:  You’ll never regret the times that you were patient in life.  Those periods of patience always will pay off.  They’ll pay off in dreams realized.  And they’ll pay off in better relationships with others.

Compassion

The third and final foundation for a good life is compassion.  When we have compassion for others, not only do we care about their suffering, but we want to help alleviate their suffering.  We also don’t want to be the cause of anyone’s suffering.

Realize that we each have been given one life.  And the sole reason for your life is to make this world a better place by your being in it.  And the way to accomplish that is to live a compassionate lifestyle.

Compassionate living requires us to stop thinking about Me, Myself and I. Instead, we have to be outward thinking in our approach to life. We have to be constantly aware of how our words and actions are affecting other people.

If you want to develop a compassionate lifestyle, there are only two questions that you have to ask yourself at the end of each day: Did my presence today on this earth cause any person or creature to suffer?  And, did I in some way alleviate the suffering of others today? 

Those are tough questions.  Because no single day is perfect.  For instance, this morning, I took our cat to the vet.  She and I didn’t get there by bicycle.  We drove for about 20 minutes to get to the veterinarian’s office.  And in the process, I added carbon dioxide to the air which causes global warming.  In short, this morning, I caused the earth to suffer. 

Compassionate living requires us to get our heads out of the sand and ask ourselves some hard questions:  Was I unkind today?  Did I hurt someone’s feelings?  Was I impatient with someone?  Did my actions cause suffering to animals or the earth?   Today, did I do anything to help someone else?  Did I alleviate someone else’s suffering?

The good news is that when compassion is at the forefront of your mind, you start making very different choices.  You make compassionate choices that support a good life.  A life in which you are a blessing to all who encounter you.

Consider making Simplicity, Patience and Compassion the three foundations of your life.  When you do so, you’ll find yourself being happier, having better relationships with others, and being a positive force on this earth. (To read about the concept of ahimsa and how it can help you become a better human being, click here.)