Mindset Magic: 5 Thoughts that Can Transform Your Life

We often think that our circumstances are what dictate our life experience.  That’s true, to a certain extent.  But realize that when it comes to your life experience, what’s even more important is your mindset.  In fact, a positive mindset can transform your life.

Let me give you an example.  I know a brother and sister who were raised in the same home.  Their parents gave them the same opportunities during childhood.  And their parents provided them with college educations at the same university.  And yet, they ultimately landed in very different places in life.

The sister now has a good career and a happy marriage.  Meanwhile, the brother can’t seem to figure out life.  He doesn’t work fulltime, and he can’t make ends meet.  Same upbringing.  Very different outcomes.  Why?

Well, the reality is that our positive circumstances can only take us so far in life.  And frankly, our negative circumstances can only hinder us so far in life.  Then, once we get past our circumstances – good or bad – our ability to succeed in life is based on our mindset. 

Our mindset is basically how we think about life.  So, when considering whether or not you have a good mindset, ask yourself these questions:  Do my thoughts serve me?  Or do my thoughts keep me from achieving my full potential in life?

Below are 5 thoughts that you need to adopt to develop a mindset for personal success.  Think them.  Say them out loud.  Believe them.  Make them part of your mindset, and transform your life for the better!

“I am capable of achieving my goals.”

I will concede that there are certain goals in life that we cannot achieve due to our physical limitations.  For instance, I cannot play basketball for the WNBA.  Why?  Well, I’m too short.  And I have a bad knee.  So, I accept that playing for the WNBA is not in my future. 

But barring physical limitations, your mindset should be that you can accomplish any goal that you set your mind to!  Why?  Well, because you can.

The reason that people don’t achieve their goals typically isn’t due to inability.  It’s due to all kinds of other things.  Perhaps they aren’t willing to put in the work required to achieve their goals.  Or, they may have family obligations that take up their time.  But sadly, the main reason why many folks don’t achieve their goals is that they simply don’t believe that they are capable.

I understand why that mentality exists.  Sadly, some of us were raised with parents who didn’t encourage us.  Other folks have friends or siblings who are critical and undermine their confidence.  The world is full of negative people, and we are short on encouragers.

However, the key to success in this life is to ignore the naysayers.  They are a dime a dozen. 

Instead, adopt a mindset of confidence.  Say to yourself on a daily basis, “I am capable of achieving my goals.”  Because the reality is that you are capable.  You can achieve any goal that you are willing to give your undivided attention and full effort to. 

“Every challenge is an opportunity for growth.”

I will concede that life challenges are unpleasant.  For example, I had a stressful home life as a child.  Then later in life, I went through a divorce, and most recently, I dealt with the passing of my mother.  I wouldn’t wish those experiences on anyone.

But over the years, I’ve developed this mindset: “Every challenge is an opportunity for growth.” 

The reality is that no one goes through this life unscathed.  We all have negative experiences.  And the only difference between the people who succeed in life and the people who fail is what they do with those experiences. The successful people in this world use their negative experiences as an opportunity for personal growth.

For instance, over the years, I’ve known people who lost their parents at early ages.  And for some, that difficult experience has led them to be kinder, gentler and more compassionate individuals.  For others, that experience has led them to become bitter and mean.  Same experience.  Different outcomes in terms of personal growth.

As another example, I know some people who get divorced, and then they become very bitter. So, they choose to be negative and difficult with their ex-spouse.  On the other hand, I know other folks who grow personally from their divorce. As a result, they are able to become friends with their ex-spouses.  In fact, I know some divorced couples who even celebrate the holidays together!  Same experience. Different outcomes. And in every case, the outcome was not dictated by the difficult circumstances. Rather, the outcome is dictated by the individuals’ mindsets.

So, the question you have to ask yourself when facing any challenge is this:  Am I going to use this experience as a launching pad for personal growth?  If you answer “yes” to that question, you have the mindset for success.  As a result, life challenges ultimately won’t hurt you.  Instead, they’ll make you wiser, kinder and more compassionate than you would have been otherwise.  In short, with a positive mindset, challenging experiences will simply lead you to become a far better human being.

“Gratitude transforms my perspective.”

Life is never perfect.  There always are going to be some things in life that are going well.  And there will be some stuff that isn’t going so well.  That’s just the nature of life.

When you practice gratitude, you choose to take your focus off whatever is going poorly in your life, and you re-shift your focus to the things that are good. And in doing so, you transform your life experience.

I’ll give you an example.  A long time ago, I went through a divorce.  It was extremely unpleasant.  And during that period of my life, I could have focused on the divorce process and ignored all the good in my life.  And I would have spent that time being miserable. 

But instead, I followed a gratitude practice during that period. So, I chose to be grateful for all the things in my life that were going well.  For instance, I was extremely grateful for my daughter.  She was (and is) my joy of life.  And I was grateful for my job, where I had terrific colleagues and a wonderful boss.  There was so much good going on in my life. And by being grateful, I was able to be truly happy, in spite of the stress of the divorce.

A gratitude mindset will transform your life experience.  It isn’t that you don’t feel badly about difficult things.  Rather, with mindset of gratitude, those difficult things don’t consume you.  By focusing on the good in your life, you’re able to enjoy life, even in the midst of difficulty.

“I choose kindness and compassion in all my interactions.”

If you want to have a great life, I’ll give you one simple rule: Choose kindness and compassion in all your interactions.  Even when you’re sad, choose to be kind and compassionate.  When you’re tired, frustrated, angry, or irritated, choose to be kind and compassionate. 

Why?  Well, there are a whole host of reasons.  By being kind and compassionate, you make the world a better place for everyone.  It will lead you to have better relationships with others.  And of course, by being kind and compassionate, you’ll have a happier homelife and a more successful career. 

But here’s the main reason why you should be kind and compassionate: Karma.  If you are mean, rude or unkind, life will not treat you well.  That is an immutable law of our existence.

Over the years, I’ve seen people behave in rude, difficult and unkind ways.  And in every instance, I’ve also observed that their behavior has hurt them.  Not directly.  And not in the moment of the offense.  But ultimately life doesn’t run smoothly for people who aren’t kind and compassionate. 

For instance, I’ve seen some have financial or career issues.  I’ve observed others to have relationship problems.  Still others have had health issues.  Unkind behavior always has karmic consequences.

So, if you want to have a life that runs smoothly, adopt a mindset in which you commit to choosing to be kind and compassionate in all your interactions.  I’ll concede that sometimes is hard to do.  It’s hard to be kind and compassionate when another person is being terrible.  And it’s hard to be kind and compassionate when you’re feeling impatient or badly about something. 

But what I can promise is this:  If you adopt a mindset in which you commit to being kind and compassionate, no matter what, your life will be transformed.  For the better.

“I am in control of my thoughts and emotions.”

One of the most powerful thoughts that you can adopt in life is this: I am in control of my thoughts and emotions. Now, being in control of your thoughts and emotions doesn’t mean that you won’t have negative ones from time to time.  Rather, it means that you can experience negative thoughts and emotions briefly, and then let them go.

Folks who are in control of their thoughts and emotions have what I call a “Still Pond Mind.”  Think of it this way: When you throw a pebble into a still pond, there is a ripple for a short period.  And then the pond quickly returns to stillness.

In the same way, when we have a Still Pond Mind, we can have a negative experience, such as someone being rude or difficult with us.  And in response, we may momentarily experience the negative emotions of frustration or anger.  But if we have a Still Pond Mind, we have the power to quickly return to a calm mind. 

How do we develop the Still Pond Mind?  Well, there are all kinds of techniques.  However, the best approach is to find something positive that distracts you from the negative thought or emotion. Think of it as changing the channel on your television.  If one channel has negative thoughts and emotions, switch to another channel! You might switch channels by reading something with a positive message or listening to an interesting podcast.  Distract yourself with something positive until the negative thoughts and emotions have dissipated.

Once you realize that you can control your thoughts and emotions, it is liberating! Those negative thoughts and emotions no longer have control over you.  And that is life transforming.  

Consider adopting the above thoughts. Repeat them to yourself regularly.  If you do so, they’ll become part of your mindset.  And with a positive mindset, you’ll be able to transform your life for the better! (To read about how to develop a mindset for success, click here.)