25 Essential Manners for Success in the Workplace

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”

Emily Post

Nowadays, we mistakenly think of manners as an antiquated concept.  We think manners are all about using the right fork or holding your teacup with an extended pinky finger.  But manners, as expressed so beautifully in the quote above, are really about being aware of the feelings of others.  And to be successful in the workplace, you have to have great manners.

For example, I often hear people complain that they were overlooked for a promotion, in spite of being the most highly qualified candidate.  Or they may lament that they went on multiple job interviews, and they didn’t get a single offer.  Even though these folks are talented, they aren’t advancing professionally.  And they are understandably frustrated!

Here’s what no one is telling these folks:  They are being held back by their bad manners.  Yes, that’s right.  You heard me.  I don’t care how smart and talented you are.  If you have poor manners, you’re going to hit a ceiling when it comes to advancing in your career.

Realize that all jobs require at least some human contact.  And no one wants to work with someone with bad manners.  On countless occasions, I’ve seen people with average skills advance in organizations largely based on their manners.  Sure, other folks in the organization may be smarter.  But if those smarter folks are rude or socially inept, they will not be promoted.

So, if your goal is to advance in your career, consider adopting the 25 Manners for Success below.  If you do, you’ll be surprised by how you move ahead professionally – and personally!

1. Be Punctual

Showing up on time for work is the bare minimum that is required of any employee.  If you are chronically late for work, it shows your employer that you don’t take your job seriously.  And if you’re not taking your job seriously, why on earth should your employer promote you, or even continue your employment?

It is also critical to be punctual for professional meetings.  When you are late for a meeting, you essentially are saying to everyone else at the meeting, “I don’t respect your time.”  Making people wait is the height of rudeness.  If you want to be successful, be a true professional, be punctual, and respect other people’s time.

2. Listen without Interrupting

We all want to get our point across in any conversation.  As a result, we often make the mistake of interrupting others when they are speaking, so that we can say what we want to say.  However, when you allow someone to complete their thought before you offer a response, you show that you respect that person’s opinion. 

Mutual respect of others is critical in our professional relationships.  If your subordinates, colleagues and supervisors don’t feel like you respect them, they won’t want to work with you.  And in the workplace, while we may not always like each other, we have to treat each other with respect.  So, respect others by not interrupting them.  If you do, they’ll feel “heard,” and your work relationships inevitably will improve.

3. Listen Carefully

Very often, when in a conversation with another person, we are so busy mentally crafting our response to what the other person is saying, that we stop listening to what the other person is saying!  It is important to break that bad habit.  Instead, when in a conversation, learn to just sit back and listen.  And be comfortable with a moment or two of silence before you offer a response. 

I’ve found that the moment of silence is unnerving!  It makes folks very uncomfortable.  But let it happen.  Don’t worry about there being dead air in a professional conversation.  Instead, give yourself and others time to consider what has been said before responding.  When you allow that momentary pause, your your conversations will be all the more productive.

4. Good Manners Means Waiting Your Turn

Some people tend to push their way to the front in life.  I’ll admit that sometimes their pushiness works.  They force their way to the front of lines.  And they strategize how to step over others to get promotions in the workplace. 

But at a certain point, pushiness backfires.  That is because workplaces are organized and hierarchical.  And they are structured that way for a reason.  Hierarchy allows organizations to function at their highest level. 

So, you need to be willing to wait your turn for certain positions.  For instance, supervisory positions require some gray hairs!  Age gives us experience, perspective and wisdom that we simply don’t possess in our younger years.  And maturity and wisdom are necessary attributes that you need to manage other people successfully.

So, wait your turn for professional positions.  Pushing your way into management positions prematurely will backfire if you aren’t ready for them.  But realize that if you work hard, those positions will come your way at the right time.

5. Make Eye Contact When Having a Conversation

We live in a world dominated by digital communication.  As a result, many of us have fallen out of the practice of making eye contact when having a conversation. 

Realize that it is critical to make eye contact in a professional context.  When you don’t make eye contact, you convey a lack of confidence in who you are and in what you are saying.  Whereas, having the right amount of eye contact shows that you are confident, and that you know what you are doing.

The challenge is that you need to make eye contact, but you should never stare.  Eye contact is good!  Staring is odd.  So, when having a conversation, you shouldn’t be staring at the other person for the purpose of assessing their appearance.  Rather, the key is to look at the other person in order to be fully engaged in the conversation. 

6. Greet People in A Friendly Manner

A friendly greeting goes a long way in the workplace.  Whether you are meeting someone for the first time, or you are seeing a colleague first thing in the morning, your greetings should be friendly.  You should convey that you are delighted to meet or see that person.

There are a lot of people who are unfriendly and unapproachable.  While there is no law against being unfriendly, it will stop you from being successful.  That is because the world prefers folks who are friendly and helpful.  And the world simply tolerates people who are standoffish.  So, be friendly so that people will want to work with you, buy your product or invest in your business!

7. Say “Please” and “Thank You” and “Excuse Me”

Sometimes when we are familiar with people, we forget about those special words that we learned when we were small.  “Please.”  “Thank you.”  “Excuse me.”  However, those words are important!  They are the kind, gentle words that soften our human relationships. 

When we use those words in the work context, we show that we respect the time and efforts of those with whom we work.  For example, if you are a supervisor, you have every right to bark out orders and to expect your subordinates to follow them.  But if you use the words “please” and “thank you,” you’ve transformed an order into a request that shows that you respect the person who works for you.  And when you treat people with gratitude and respect, they will want to work doubly hard for you!

8. Use Ma’am, Sir, Mr. and Ms. Unless Directed Otherwise

A good rule of thumb is to always address people in a formal manner in the workplace, until you have been directed otherwise.  Now, if you are introduced to someone as “Nick” or “Sue,” then you have been placed on a first name basis with that person from the get-go.  But if you are being introduced to someone professionally, and especially if that person is older than you are, refer to that person as Mr. or Ms., until they tell you otherwise.

Using formal names shows respect for the person you are speaking to.  I have had certain supervisors who I never have addressed using their first names.  These people were significantly older than me, and no matter how long I worked for these people, I did not use their first names. 

Unfortunately, some folks have not been raised to show an appropriate deference to their elders.  Don’t let that be you!  I can assure you that it will inure to your benefit if you show your respect to the older people in your organization by using “Ma’am” and “Sir” and “Mr.” and “Ms.”

9. Walk Away When You Are Upset

We all can get annoyed in the workplace.  Particularly when things get busy, or a mistake happens, it’s easy to get annoyed with your co-workers.  But it’s never appropriate to express that irritation in a professional setting.

I have seen people fired for yelling and losing their temper at work.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but unless your workplace is on fire, there is no reason to ever raise your voice at work.  And frankly, there is no good reason to speak to people in an irritated or angry tone. 

Problems aren’t solved with angry tones.  They are solved by smart people who come up with good solutions.  Be the smart person in the room.  Not the noisy, rude one.

10. Hold the Door Open for Men and Women

Back in the day, men used to lament, “Well, now you can’t hold open the door for women because of feminism.”  I’ve never heard of anything so stupid.  You should be holding open the door for everyone.  Men and women. 

If you are walking into your office building, it’s common courtesy to hold open the door for the folks trailing behind you.  You shouldn’t walk in the door ahead of people and then let the door slam in their faces.  As with saying “Please” and “Thank You,” holding open the door for people is yet another way that we show kindness and courtesy to our colleagues. 

11. Apologize for Your Mistakes

Two of the most important words in your vocabulary are “I’m sorry.”  I’m always shocked by how people struggle to say those two words.  If you have done something objectively wrong, if you’ve been inconsiderate, or if you’ve simply hurt someone’s feelings, then apologize! 

I will admit it takes some emotional maturity to say that you were wrong.  But if you struggle with apologizing, then it’s time to grow up.  Particularly in the workplace, folks will easily forgive mistakes, if you simply apologize and admit your error.  However, if you become defensive and refuse to admit your error, your colleagues will think that you don’t understand your error, which is far worse!

12. Encourage Others

If you want to show leadership skills at work, then you need to get in the habit of encouraging others.  Average workers simply focus on their own job tasks and pick up a paycheck every Friday.  By contrast, leaders pay attention to the folks around them.  They then encourage and compliment others at every opportunity.

Not only do you show your leadership skills by complimenting and encouraging others, but you also boost workplace morale.  There isn’t one person who you work with who doesn’t need an encouraging word, now and then.  So, be the one to lift people’s spirits by acknowledging their hard work! 

13. Don’t Swear

Swearing has become part of our lives today.  You’ll find swearing in music lyrics.  People now can swear on television and in movies.  Even self-help books, inexplicably, put coarse language in their titles.  Foul language is everywhere.

But if you want to be seen as a professional in the workplace, you need to express yourself carefully.  And that means not swearing.  Even if you are in a workplace where coarse language is common, I’d encourage you to refrain.  When you don’t swear at work, you set yourself apart from your peers as being more mature and professional.

14. Show Respect for Others, Especially Your Elders

This is the unspoken rule of the workplace: Every person in an organization is equally important, but every person is not equal.  So, in a corporation, the secretary is as important as the CEO.  Without the secretary, phones don’t get answered, mail doesn’t get distributed and supplies aren’t ordered.  However, the secretary is not equal to the CEO.  The CEO ranks higher.  And the CEO merits a certain level of deference and respect due to his or her position.

That is a frustrating concept, especially for many young people who have been raised as “special snowflakes.”  I will agree that every person is a special snowflake.  But in organizations (as in families) there are ranks.  And people in higher ranks, whether they be CEOs or supervisors (or parents or grandparents), are due respect and deference.

Now, I know people who fight that rule.  And they invariably fail.  Because you can’t fight the basic structure of society.   So, if you want to be successful, accept the rule and give appropriate deference to those who rank higher than you.  And if people see that you grasp the rule, you’ll be promoted before those who are desperately trying to buck the system.

15. Good Manners Means Putting Away Technology When Conversing

I know a lady who is a supervisor at her job.  One day, she was speaking to one of her subordinates, and during their conversation, her subordinate took out his cellphone and started looking at it.  It was an act of shocking disrespect.  And this young man came very close to getting fired over the incident.

Unless you are expecting an emergency call, put your phone away when speaking to other people.  Whenever you are having a conversation with another person, whether it be in person or by Zoom, that person is entitled to your undivided attention. 

So, if you want to be successful in the workplace, give your full attention to your colleagues when speaking to them, and commit to the strict rule of putting away your cellphone when interacting with others at work.

16. Respond to Emails, Text Messages and Phone Calls in a Reasonable Amount of Time

People often complain about the volume of emails, text messages and phone calls that they receive on a given day at work.  But to be fair, most of those communications are informational.  They involve someone telling you something.  There are only a small percentage of communications that specifically ask you for a response.

When someone specifically asks you for something, be responsive!  For the most part, I respond to texts and emails immediately (I rarely receive a phone call nowadays).  And it takes me less than a minute to do so. 

Unfortunately, some people don’t respond immediately to texts and emails because they want to appear to be busy or important.  But when you don’t respond immediately to communications, you instead are perceived as lacking professionalism. 

Top professionals are responsive as a matter of respect to their colleagues who are trying to get things done.  So, be a true professional and get in the habit of responding quickly to emails and text messages!

17. Keep Negative Opinions to Yourself

I will admit that there is a certain amount of kvetching that reasonably happens in any workplace.  Management complains about their subordinates.  The subordinates complain about their managers.  Folks complain about their colleagues.  It happens everywhere. 

Notwithstanding the ubiquitous nature of kvetching, you want to keep your own complaining to a minimum.  Your goal at work is to be viewed as a team player.  You want to be perceived as someone who is helpful and who solves problems.  You don’t want to simply be known as the person who is good at identifying them. 

18. Don’t Intentionally Embarrass Others

There is little value in a “public hanging,” as the term goes.  So, if someone makes a mistake at work, don’t announce it in front of others.  In a professional setting, the appropriate way to handle mistakes is behind closed doors. 

Unfortunately, in this age of “group emails” and “reply all,” public scolding and humiliation has become acceptable.  But it isn’t appropriate.  We all make mistakes, and true professionals understand that fact.  And as a result, they treat mistakes with compassion, rather than derision, by choosing not to embarrass others.

19. Good Manners Includes Helping Others Whenever You Can

The saying goes, “Cleanliness is next to godliness.”  I would say that, “Helpfulness is next to godliness.”  There is no more important trait to have in life, and especially in the workplace.

Often in workplaces, people mistakenly believe that doing their job well is sufficient to advance.  So, they are reluctant to help anyone else for fear that time spent helping others will take away from getting their own work done.  So, if asked for help, they act gruff and annoyed, so that folks will be reluctant to ask them for anything!

Realize that such behavior doesn’t go unnoticed.  In every workplace, everyone knows who the unhelpful employees are.  And you are far better off being known as being helpful rather than simply being known as the person who happens to get your job done by 4:59 p.m. every day.

20. Refrain from Speaking Loudly

Some workplaces are noisy and some are quiet.  It is important to gauge the dynamic of your workplace.  If folks are reserved and speak in quieter tones, follow their lead and do the same.  If people are a little bit more boisterous, you can be a little louder.

Just take care not to be the “loud talker.”  We all know who those people are.  They walk into a room and speak at a greater decibel than anyone else.  And as soon as they leave, everyone breathes a sigh of relief that their eardrums can now get a break.

21. Dress Appropriately

Dressing appropriately is a hot button topic in any workplace.  I once worked for an organization in which management tried to implement a very innocuous dress code.  And people became irrationally upset over it.

Whether your employer has a dress code or not, you want to be careful as to how you dress for work.  Dressing for personal expression is something that you do on your free time.  Dressing for success is what you do in the workplace.

What does it mean to dress for success?  Well, it means dressing as neatly and professionally as possible for your industry.  So, if you are in a white-collar job, you’ll be wearing suits and nicely tailored business casual clothes.  If you are in a service profession, you’ll wear the uniform given to you, but you’ll be sure that your clothes are well-fitted, and that your hair is neat. And if you are a woman, your makeup should be carefully and subtly applied.  Ill-fitted, worn out clothes are not a recipe for success at work! 

The key is to dress for the job that you want to have.  So, if you want to be a supervisor, pay close attention to how your supervisor dresses.  And then dress as well (or better!) than him or her.  Leave the clothes that express the “real you” for the weekends.

22. Remember Other People’s Names and Pronounce Them Correctly

One of the ways that you can tell true professionals apart from mere workers is the fact that professionals remember other people’s names.  And they pronounce people’s names correctly. 

I will admit that when you start a job, you end up meeting a multitude of people, and it is hard to remember each person’s name right off the bat.  But after 2 weeks, you should know everyone’s name without issue. 

And you also should learn how to pronounce other people’s names properly.  In today’s society, not everyone has common names like “John” and “Sue.”  In the workplace, you will work with people from all over the world.  And they’ll have names that you aren’t used to. 

If you are unsure of how to pronounce someone’s name, then ask them how they like their name to be pronounced.  That person will not be offended.  They will appreciate your desire to properly pronounce their name.  By remembering names and pronouncing them correctly, you’ll show that you are a true professional.

23. Don’t Go to the Office with a Cold or Other Illness

Now that we have endured the COVID-19 pandemic, most people are very careful to not go to work with symptoms of a cold or virus.  But pre-pandemic, I remember that folks would go to work, even though they were obviously quite ill.  And they would say, “See what a good employee I am.  I go to work, even though I’m sick.”  And my only thought was, “Stay home!  You are infecting everyone in the office with your cold or virus!”

Realize that going to work with a cold or virus is not admirable.  It is the epitome of disrespect to potentially infect your colleagues with your illness.  Show that you respect and care for your colleagues by staying home when you are sick.

24. Publicly Compliment Others for a Job Well Done

If you see someone do something well in the workplace, don’t just keep it to yourself.  If you are that person’s supervisor, then publicly compliment that person.  You would be surprised how a compliment can encourage an employee to work harder and love their job even more. 

And if you see a colleague do something well, tell them!  Better yet, tell their supervisor.  Make sure that their supervisor knows that their subordinate is going above and beyond the call of duty. 

Encouraging and complimenting others are leadership qualities.  If you want to get ahead in your organization, then complimenting others will show that you have what it takes to be in a supervisory position.

25. Don’t Tell Crude Jokes

I love jokes and puns.  And in the workplace, telling a funny joke gives everyone a good chuckle and lightens the mood.  When you tell nice, clean, funny jokes, you contribute to a more positive workplace culture.  Folks notice and appreciate that!

However, crude, sexist and violent jokes have no place at work.  Unfortunately, distasteful jokes, memes, and GIFs abound on the internet.  Exercise your common sense and don’t share that type of humor at work.

And if it is unclear to you what constitutes improper workplace humor, it’s safe to assume that any humor that denigrates someone’s religion, political party, gender, ethnicity or sexuality are not for the workplace.  Similarly, jokes that ridicule someone for their appearance or their intellect are likewise improper.

To be successful at work, you want people to perceive you as being mature and compassionate.  Sending crude jokes only tells people that you are immature and lack compassion.  So, be funny at work – the right way!

Consider using the above 25 manners for workplace success, whether you are the office or working from home.  If you use the above manners, you’ll be perceived as a true professional.  Follow them and put yourself on the path to success! (To read about improving your conversation skills, click here.)