5 Effective Ways to Manage and Reduce Stress

No one leads a stress-free life.  From time to time, we all have to deal with significant stressful issues. Those issues may be financial, personal, professional or even health-related.  And on a daily basis, we often face minor stresses, such as getting stuck in traffic or dealing with rude behavior.  As a result, learning how to manage and reduce stress is one of the most important skills that we can develop.

Unfortunately, we aren’t born with an innate ability to deal with stress.  That is why toddlers have tantrums – small children haven’t yet learned how to manage stress.  But as we age, we develop our own particular ways to manage stress. 

Some folks develop good approaches to stress.  They may reduce their stress with meditation, or they may manage stress by having a positive attitude.  But sadly, others develop self-destructive approaches to handling stress.  When faced with stress, they may lash out at others.  Or they may abuse alcohol, nicotine or other drugs when faced with stressful situations.

Given the ubiquitous nature of stress in our lives, one of the keys to living a happy life is to develop positive ways to deal with stress when it arises.  Below are positive and effective ways to manage and reduce the stress in your life.  Try these approaches and see how much happier and more relaxed you can be!

To Manage Your Stress, Engage in Regular Self-Care

I find that the term “self-care” tends to get a bad rap.  People often think “self-care” is about being “self-indulgent.”  Nothing could be further from the truth! 

In part, self-care is about taking care of your body.  It is about exercising your body, feeding your body healthy foods, and giving your body time to rest with enough sleep.  Self-care is also about caring for your mind. We care for our minds by reading positive literature, and meditating or praying.  None of that is self-indulgent.  Rather, those activities are necessary for a healthy body and mind.

Realize that if you don’t maintain a healthy body, you simply cannot manage stress effectively.  For instance, I’ve known people who emotionally fall apart when they don’t get a good night’s sleep.  As for myself, I get very edgy if I don’t eat regularly.  And when we are edgy or emotionally overwhelmed, we simply cannot manage stress.

Similarly, to manage stress well, you also need to have a healthy mind.  And a healthy mind is a calm mind.  But what exactly is a calm mind?  Well, a calm mind is like a still pond.  You can throw a pebble into a still pond, but it quickly reverts back to its still state.  Likewise, a calm mind is not easily perturbed.  A problem may arise, and the calm mind may be momentarily disturbed.  However, the calm mind will quickly return to its calm state.

The only way to achieve a calm mind is through training.  We train our minds to be calmer by reading positive literature, reflecting and meditating or praying on a regular basis.  For instance, in order to work on having a calm mind, I pray and meditate on a daily basis.  I also read books by Christian theologians, Buddhist teachers and Jewish philosophers. 

Most importantly, I give a lot of mental energy to this one question: How can I be a calmer, kinder, more patient person, no matter what is going on around me?  Because if I am only calm, kind and patient when life is going smoothly, that doesn’t really mean that I have a calm mind.  Rather, it is when I am under stress that my mind (and my character) is tested.  It is then that I find out whether I am, in fact, a calm, kind and patient person. 

So, to better manage your stress, engage in self-care.  Care for your body, so that you have the wherewithal to face any stressful situation that comes your way.  And learn to develop a calm mind.  When you have a calm mind, you can approach any situation in clear-headed manner.  And that most assuredly is the best way to manage stress!

Talk to a Trusted Confidante

I understand why folks don’t share their stresses and troubles with others.  Some people don’t like to complain.  Others are private by nature.  And still other folks don’t want anyone to know about their problems due to vanity.  They want the world to think that they and their lives are perfect. 

However, the problem with keeping your troubles to yourself is that you’ll end up going down the path of wrong-headed thinking.  I’ve known people who’ve been very private about their personal problems, whether they’ve been marital problems, financial concerns or addiction issues.  And consistently I’ve found that people who don’t consult with a wise confidant about their problems end up having wrong-headed ideas and end up doing stupid things.

The reality is that when you are upset or under high levels of stress, you aren’t thinking clearly.  So, you need a confidante to help “un-muddy” your thinking.  That way you can see the issue clearly and manage your problem correctly.

I’ve been blessed to have had the same confidante for the last 20 years.  Over the past two decades, I’ve told him every last thing about my life – the good and the bad.  I’ve sought his advice countless times.  And he’s helped me to see difficult situations clearly, especially when I’ve been under tremendous stress.  His advice over the years simply has been invaluable.

So, find a trusted friend and advisor.  Not one of us can see difficult situations clearly all the time.  Managing stress often requires the counsel of a good friend.

To Reduce Stress, Keep Following Your Daily Routine

There is a saying which I love to follow in times of stress.  “When you don’t know what to do, do what you know.”  Wiser words have not been spoken.

Admittedly, when we are under stress, the temptation is to crawl under the covers and avoid life.  But that doesn’t help anything.  Rather, one of the keys to managing stress is to maintain your regular schedule.  No matter what is going on in your life, keep going to bed and getting up at the same time.  Keep brushing your teeth and showering!  And keep doing the housework and going to your job. 

If you stop living life normally when under stress, you’ll only compound your problems.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but a messy house and an empty bank account will only make your life worse. 

More importantly, when under stress, following your daily routine will give you a sense of accomplishment.  You then can say to yourself, “Yes, I may be stressed out by my job/ marriage/finances, but my house is clean, and I’m doing a good job at work!”  When you keep up with your daily routine, you can give yourself a pat on the back for doing well at the things in life that you can control!

For example, years ago, my husband was hospitalized for a major health issue.  It was an extraordinarily stressful period in my life.  However, in spite of the stress, I made the decision to keep my regular life schedule.  So, I kept working at my job.  I made sure my house was clean and tidy.  I also tried to keep a normal eating and sleep schedule.  And then every evening, I visited my husband at the hospital.  Maintaining my daily routine was key to reducing my stress because I kept our household and finances going, even in the face of a major life challenge.

So, if you are facing a stressful situation, don’t stop living your life.  Follow your regular routine.  Go to work.  Make sure to have a tidy home.  Cook healthy meals!  After all, it is far easier to manage stress in one area of your life, when the rest of your life is running smoothly.

Find A Serene Place to Relax

We all have special places where we feel like we can truly breathe.  Be sure to seek out those places when you are under stress.  That is a terrific way give yourself a much-needed mental break and reduce your stress.

For example, some folks love to be in nature.  So, when they are under stress, they’ll take a walk in a park or in the woods.  Others find solace at their place to worship. So, they’ll go there when under stress in order to pray and reflect. 

As for me, my two favorite places to relax are bookstores and cafes.  In fact, I have spent the past couple of decades retreating to bookstores and cafes whenever I’ve needed a break from stress.  For example, years ago I was living overseas, and I was under a lot of stress.  So, every day after my daughter finished school, I would take her to the local café.  The waitress always brought me a cup of coffee with the letter “M” written in the milk foam for “mom,” and she would bring my daughter a hot chocolate.  We’d then cool our heels at the café for an hour or so.  My daughter would do her homework, and I would write.  Those afternoon café visits kept me sane during that period of my life.  For that precious one hour a day, I truly felt like I could breathe.

So, if you are under stress, go to a serene place where you truly can relax.  Seek out that place whenever you have free time.  In doing so, you can give yourself the opportunity to really be at peace, even when under stress.

Realize That No Stressful Situation Is Permanent

There is a saying that people often quote when times are tough: “This too shall pass.”  The point of the saying is that even though you may be facing a bad situation at the moment, that situation is not permanent.  That is because life is constantly changing.  And when we are under stress, that is an important life truth to remember.

For example, ten years ago, I was under a great deal of stress.  I was in the middle of a difficult divorce.  Worse yet, I was trying to find a job after having been out of the workforce for two years.  And I was responsible for a young child and an assortment of “rescue” pets. 

At the time, a dear friend said to me, “Don’t worry.  This too shall pass.”  And she was right.  That stress did pass. It is now ten years later, and today I’m remarried to a wonderful husband.  I live in a beautiful home, and I have work that I enjoy.  And my child is now a straight A, highly successful college student.  Life changes.  (The only thing that hasn’t changed is that I continue to have “rescue” pets.  Stray animals are the one constant in my life!)

So, when trying to manage and reduce your stress, remember that “This too shall pass.”  No stressful situation is permanent.  It may take time to resolve the situation, but with some patience and good judgment, stressful situations do get resolved.

Consider following the approaches above when faced any type of stress in life.  If you do, you’ll find that you are better able to manage and reduce your stress.  And as a result, you’ll end up being a happier and more relaxed person, no matter what challenges come your way! (To read about how to insulate yourself against stress, click here.)