How to Cope with Life’s Uncertainty

Life is unpredictable.  No matter how much we try to ensure that our lives will go smoothly, that doesn’t always happen.  Why?  Well, because so much of life is outside of our control.  For instance, we can’t control the behavior of others.  Nor can we control the weather, natural disasters or the economy.  The list of the things that are outside of our control is long!  So, the key to being content in life is to learn how to effectively cope with life’s uncertainty.

I will concede that the uncertainty of life can be stressful!  For instance, I do everything possible to be physically healthy.  I exercise daily, and I don’t drink alcohol or eat meat.  And yet, I recently had to undergo a biopsy to find out if I have cancer.  I ultimately learned that I was cancer-free, but the uncertainty that I faced while waiting for the test results was stressful. 

The reality is that you can try to plan your life to the tee.  But no matter how much you plan, you can’t control every outcome.  Life is just very unpredictable. 

So, how do we deal with that fact?  How do we deal with the unpredictability of life?  Below are strategies that you can use to deal with life’s uncertainty.  Use these strategies so that you can thrive, even when you don’t know what the future holds.

Practice Mindfulness and Stay Present

One of the reasons why life’s uncertainty is so challenging is that it causes us to worry about all the bad things that could potentially happen in the future.  The problem is that we can spend our time worrying about things that may never come to pass.  And that’s a massive waste of time.

I once heard someone describe worry as similar to sitting in a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do. But it gets you nowhere.  Indeed.

So, how do we break the worry habit?  Well, one approach is to focus our minds on the present moment.  I’ll concede that’s difficult!  After all, our minds like to worry about all the things that could go horribly wrong in the future.  So, we have to train our brains to focus on the present.

One way to train your mind to focus on the present moment is to do either meditation or yoga.  Both practices require you ignore the whir of thoughts going through your brain. Instead, in both practices, you focus on either your breath (as in meditation) or on your body (as in yoga). 

The reality is that so many of the things that we worry about simply will never come to pass.  And we ruin the present moment by fretting over stuff that may very well never happen.  That is why there’s tremendous value in training yourself to focus on the present moment.  After all, we can only be certain of what is happening right now!

So, if you are seeking to find ways to cope with life’s uncertainty, consider adopting either a meditation or yoga practice.  Make the choice to let go of your worries about the future, something you have little control over.  Instead, choose to focus on the present moment.  Learn to really enjoy it.  Because a lifetime of enjoying the present moment is a life that has been well-spent.

Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

One of the keys to becoming a content person is to become comfortable with the uncertainty of life.  That’s a hard skill to master!  After all, we all want to know what the future holds.  But the reality is that none of us knows what may happen from one day the next. 

For example, the year that my mother passed away, my husband and I had planned to spend Thanksgiving with her.  We had booked our flights and accommodations far in advance.  Our intention was to spend a very non-traditional Thanksgiving in the memory care unit at my mother’s nursing home.   But 10 days before Thanksgiving, I received a call that she had unexpectedly declined.  So, I got on a plane immediately, and two days later my mother passed away. 

Life is like that.  We don’t know what will happen from one day to the next.  That’s an uncomfortable fact of life that we all have to live with. 

Admittedly, most of our days are uneventful.  Not much happens, and we just putter through life.  We work at our jobs, cook meals, do laundry and chat with loved ones.  It’s humdrum in a good way.

Then every so often, out of the blue, life throws us a curveball.  And what’s uncomfortable about life is that the potential for that curveball is always there.  

So, how do we get comfortable with the uncertainty of life?  The answer is this: Acceptance.  We need to accept that life is unpredictable.  For everyone.  The fact of the matter is that we all will have good days, bad days, and occasionally terrible days. 

When we accept that life inevitably will have some bad (and even terrible) days, we then become grateful.  We are grateful for those days that are good.  And we’re grateful for the time we have with those we love.

Focus on What You Can Control

One of the most effective ways to cope with uncertainty is to switch your focus to what is certain.  What is certain?  Well, it’s anything that’s within your control. 

Now, I’ll concede that what’s within your control is quite limited.  You can control your own behavior.  And you can control how you respond to other people and life events.  That’s about it. 

But realize that isn’t insignificant.  The reality is that your success or failure in life isn’t going to be dictated by what other people do.  Rather, it’s going to be dictated by how you respond to whatever happens to you in life.

For example, we all know people who’ve had privileged upbringings, and who nevertheless make terrible, self-destructive choices in life.  And then there are those folks who start out with very little. But they take what they have in natural talent and work hard to achieve great things.  The lesson is that the people who achieve aren’t the folks who start out with a lot. Rather, the folks who achieve are the ones who focus solely on what is under their control – themselves.  

So, yes.  Life can be uncertain.  And yes, life may present you with obstacles that you didn’t anticipate.  But you can create certainty in your life.  You choose to focus on what you can control – yourself.  You can decide that no matter what is going on around you, you are going to focus on working hard, being kind and doing your best.   In short, you can focus on the one thing that you can have 100% certainty in – YOU.

Reframe Your Perspective

So often in life, when things are uncertain, we focus our attention on every potentially bad thing that could happen.  But the reality is that good things happen in life too.  Often when we least expect it.

So, going through life, always anticipating that bad things will happen, isn’t rational.  Because not only can good things happen to us, but often they do happen.  In addition, often a negative event is the precursor to something great happening in your life.

For example, many years ago, I got divorced.  It was a highly stressful experience.  When you go through something like that, you think to yourself, “What possible good could come out of this mess?”  And you wonder, “What does my future hold?” 

Well, unbeknownst to me at the time, my future was very bright.  Once that marriage ended, my life took off in so many ways.  I found a terrific job working with extremely supportive, nice people.  And I then got married to wonderful man with whom I now share a very happy life.    

So, it’s helpful to reframe how you view the uncertainty of life.  Yes, there’s the potential for bad things to happen in life.  But there’s also the potential for really wonderful things to happen to you! 

So, when faced with uncertainty, try not to focus on the potentially bad things that could happen.  Instead, reframe how you view uncertainty.  Try to view uncertainty with a healthy curiosity:  Where might my life lead now?  What great things could happen in my future?

If you are seeking to become better at coping with life’s unpredictability, consider using the approaches above.  If you integrate these practices into your daily life, not only will you be better able to manage the unknowns that come your way, but you’ll enjoy life so much more. (To read more about how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, click here.)