Life will never be perfect. No matter how hard you try to make everything run smoothly, there will always be parts of your life that are problematic. For instance, in my own life, I’ve found that as soon as I resolve one issue, another one takes its place. So, the key to life is not to strive for perfection. Rather, the key is to learn to enjoy life, even when it’s imperfect.
Realize that striving for perfection is a pointless task. If that is your goal, you’ll be like Sisyphus, pushing the boulder up the mountain, only to have it roll back down again. Perfection simply won’t happen.
Instead, you want to do two things in life: First, you always want to strive to improve yourself and your life. And second, you want to enjoy your life while you are on your journey of improvement. But what is important is to seek improvement – not perfection.
Below are some ways to appreciate and enjoy your life, even when things aren’t so perfect. Try these approaches, and see how you can enjoy life, even when it’s imperfect.
Stop Saying “I’ll Be Happy When…”
Very often, people put their lives on hold when they don’t have that one thing that they want. For instance, many single people say, “Well, I’ll be happy once I find that special someone and get married.” Some folks may say, “I’ll be happy when I get the job of my dreams.” And, of course, many of us say, “I’ll be happy once I lose these extra 10 pounds.”
Well, it takes time to accomplish certain things, like finding a significant other or getting a great job. And losing 10 pounds is not a quick undertaking! Most goals take time to accomplish. So, it doesn’t make sense to defer your happiness until you achieve those goals.
Instead, you need to learn to be happy right now, regardless of whether you’ve achieved your goals. One way to be happy now is to do those activities which give you joy or contentment on a daily basis. For example, I love reading and books, and I happily can spend hours in a bookstore.
In fact, there have been times when my life was a mess, when I took a great deal of solace in a good book or in an afternoon at Barnes & Noble. For me, a couple of hours at Barnes & Noble is the best therapy available. So, I every day, I try to spend some time reading books that I love. And once in a while, I treat myself to a trip to Barnes & Noble!
The key is to focus on being doing those things that will make you happy in the present moment. Realize that when you say, “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds,” you effectively are saying, “I am choosing not to be happy for the next three months.” That doesn’t make sense! Those are three months that you can’t get back. Instead, make the most of today. Find a way to enjoy today, even if you don’t have everything that you want in life.
Focus on What Is Going Well
The best way to be happy in the midst of imperfection is to focus on what is going well in your life. And, yes, that is a skill that has to be learned! That is because we tend to focus on what is going wrong in our lives, rather than on what is going right.
For example, let’s say that you have one thing going wrong in your life and ten other things that are going right. I’ll bet that you’ll spend 90% of your time focusing on the one wrong thing, and you’ll spend 10% of your time focusing on what is going well. We all tend to do that. So, we have to retrain our minds to focus on what is good.
That takes some effort. Focusing on what is good in your life often is referred to as a Gratitude Practice. The name is apt because it takes practice to learn to be grateful! Some folks practice gratitude by keeping gratitude journals. Others spend each day meditating on those things for which they are grateful.
Using the “I Get To” Approach
I like to use the “I Get To” approach for my gratitude practice. So, for example, when I think about making dinner tonight, I’ll try not to think, “Ugh, I have to make dinner tonight.” Instead, I’ll think “I get to make dinner.”
And then I continue that thought process. “My life is so wonderful because I am blessed with enough money to buy ingredients to make a dinner. Moreover, my financial circumstances allow me to have a nice house with a kitchen in which to cook the food. And I am blessed with a body and mind that enable me to follow a recipe and prepare that food.” When you look at cooking dinner that way, suddenly preparing dinner is not a chore. Rather, it’s a privilege!
Try using whatever gratitude practice works for you. They key is to learn to re-direct your mind away from your problems and toward all the ways in which you are blessed. When you’re grateful for what is good in your life, you can enjoy your life, even in the midst of imperfection.
Realize that Problems Do Go Away … Eventually
One thing that we can count on in life is that it will always change. Unfortunately, life never changes on our timelines. For example, the problems that I had 10 years ago simply don’t exist today. Most problems eventually just go away. Of course, they don’t typically go away on my schedule, but they do get resolved at some point.
So, it is important to try to still enjoy life, even while your problems are getting worked out. For instance, a number of years ago I went through a divorce. Getting divorced is an unpleasant process. During that time, I often thought to myself, “Good heavens, when will this be over with?”
Now, at the time, I had two choices. I could choose to be miserable while getting divorced, or I could choose to be happy. I chose to be happy (most of the time) and focused on doing the things that I enjoyed, including parenting my daughter, reading books, and writing. And eventually, the divorce was finalized, and the problem went away. But it took some time.
Now I could have spent that time being unhappy. But who would that have served? No one.
If you are in a bad situation, either at home or at work, you have to figure out how to be happy in spite of all the nonsense going on around you. Given that you may not be able to control when your problems will end, it is important to find ways to be happy anyway.
This week, make a choice to be happy even if your life is imperfect. Focus on what is good in your life, and to the extent possible, ignore the bad. Every moment of your life is precious. If you learn to be happy no matter what is going on in your life, you’ll be happy always. (To read about what to do if you have made a bad choice, click here.)
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