At times, we all can fail to be fully engaged in life. Instead of being engaged with life, we avoid it. We find distractions so that we don’t have to be mentally present for what is happening right now.
And on occasion, there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes life is just too stressful, and we need a break from reality. For example, a number of years ago, my husband was in the hospital for over a month. It was an exhausting period in our lives. After visiting him at the hospital during the day, I would come home at 11 p.m. each night.
Every night, I did the same thing when I got home: I disengaged from reality and watched an episode of Friends. For 30 minutes, I gave myself a complete mental break from the stress of my husband’s hospitalization and entered a world of fun, young people living interesting lives in New York City. I can say with confidence that if you really want to relax, 30 minutes of Friends will do far more for you than a glass of wine.
But most of the time, our lives aren’t that stressful. Most of the time, life just hums along without much drama. And during these times of normalcy, we should be fully engaged in each day. We shouldn’t be trying to avoid this precious existence that we have been given.
Below are some ways to start experiencing life to the fullest. Try these approaches and see how you can become more fully present and engaged in this wonderful life that you have been given.
Stop Looking at Your Phone (Television, iPad or Computer)
I grew up with a television, which had about 6 channels. We had one movie theater in town. And that was about it for our visual entertainment.
We didn’t have cellphones, the Internet or computers. As a result, when I was growing up, you had little choice but to experience life. I suppose you could escape life by reading a book or watching a television show. But for the most part, life was an “in your face” sort of experience.
These days, we have an abundance of ways to distract ourselves from our existence. From our phones and computers, we easily can surf the Internet, read the news and watch movies and television shows. And people do exactly that, often to excess.
Our phones and computers can lead us to not be fully present in life. People use their phones to avoid conversing with other human beings. And they escape into the Internet to avoid confronting whatever is wrong with their lives.
If you want to be fully engaged in life, you have to put down your phone. Stop watching television. Don’t spend hours surfing the Internet on your iPad or computer.
Realize that when you surf the Internet and watch YouTube videos, you aren’t doing anything. You are observing other people doing things.
So, if your goal is to spend your life watching high energy people live exciting lives while you do nothing, then keep looking at your phone. But, if you want to have a great life yourself, put the phone down. Fully engage in life. And get out there and do something.
(To read about developing your focus and self-discipline, click here.)
Give Up Alcohol and Drugs
There is nothing wrong with the occasional glass of wine or bottle of beer. Where people run into problems is when they use alcohol or drugs to escape life. I know lots of people who drink alcohol when they are in an uncomfortable social situation. Or when they are sad. They then use those substances to avoid experiencing their feelings of discomfort.
The problem is that alcohol and drugs are addictive. And you have no idea whether you are prone to addiction until you try those substances (though a family history of addiction is good indicator that you are predisposed to develop an addiction too). And once you become addicted to a substance, your life is a train wreck. Neither drugs nor alcohol are worth that kind of risk.
Even if you don’t become addicted, realize that drugs and alcohol are a temporary fix for your problems. For example, you can get through the holidays with your family by drinking heavily through Thanksgiving dinner. But realize that doesn’t resolve your discomfort with your family. It just holds it at bay for a couple of hours.
If you want to be fully engaged in life, you have to experience it – even the uncomfortable parts. Those uncomfortable parts are important. They are when we learn a lot about other people, and even more about ourselves.
In addition, to mature as a person, you need to experience some of the difficult parts of life. For instance, you won’t learn to be gracious, unless you have to deal with people who are ill-mannered. And when we are fully engaged, we are more likely to solve our problems, rather than just avoid them.
Spend Part of Each Day Being Creative
It is easy to become disengaged with life if our existence becomes too routine. Life needs to be more than simply doing household chores, going to a job, watching a little bit of television at the end of the day, and then going to sleep. If we do the same mundane things every day, it is easy to start living life on autopilot.
That is why it is so important to have creative pursuits. When we create something, whether it be knitting a blanket, planting a garden or playing a piece of music, we create something where there previously was nothing. And that is energizing!
When we create, we feel more engaged in life. We aren’t merely observers, watching other people do things. Instead, we are making our homes, communities or even the world, more beautiful simply by creating something lovely.
So, fully engage with life. Improve your small patch of the earth. Create something beautiful. The world needs the beauty that only you can create.
Remember that you only have one life to live. So, don’t live your life on autopilot. Instead, immerse yourself in the experiences of each day. Follow the approaches above and become fully engaged in life.
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