There’s a song you’ll hear in the stores and on the radio every December – “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” sung by the crooner, Andy Williams. The lyrics talk about how the holiday season is filled with nothing but good cheer and fun parties. However, for many people the holidays are anything but that. Sadly, many folks deal with depression during the holidays.
Admittedly, holiday depression can be related to one’s current circumstances. For instance, if you are experiencing financial difficulties or health issues, it’s hard to be jolly at Christmas. But I know many people who get depressed every Christmas, and their lives are perfectly fine. They have nice families and good jobs. Yet, they sink into depression every December.
For those people, their holiday depression comes from disappointment. At this time of year, they compare what they think that their lives should have been to what they actually have been. And their lives come up short. And that is frustrating to them.
However, the reality is that no one’s life is perfect. So, instead of spending the Christmas season being depressed, wishing that you had a different life or a different family, consider the following better ways to approach the holidays. With these approaches, you may find that the holidays don’t have to be depressing but can be the most meaningful time of the year.
Make a Special Connection with One Person
In this age of social media, in which everyone battles to see how many “friends” and “followers” they can have, we’ve lost sight of the value of making a real connection with another human being. Realize that there is tremendous value in making a connection with just one person.
So, if you want to feel good during the holidays, forget about the large holiday parties and big family gatherings. Those are fine, but they aren’t a cure for sadness and loneliness. (Frankly, you can feel as lonely in a crowd as you can by yourself.)
Better to make a real connection with just one person. To do so, decide that this year, you’ll make Christmas special for one individual. Figure out what that person would love to receive as a Christmas gift, and get it for him or her! Write that person a card with sincere words of gratitude or encouragement. Take that person out for a nice dinner, and have pleasant conversation. Make it a beautiful evening.
Often when we are depressed, it is because we feel like life is without meaning. However, our lives become meaningful when we connect with another person in a positive way. Find one friend or family member to truly spoil this Christmas, and see how much happier the holidays are for you.
Stop Focusing on Your Past, And Instead Focus on Being Good to Others Today
Over the years, I’ve known people who struggle every year with the holidays. And they all have the same issue. Their childhoods were a disappointment. Their parents didn’t provide them with the “Leave It to Beaver” upbringing that they believe they deserved. And since the holidays are the time of year when we fetishize perfect families, the holidays are a reminder of the fact that for many of us, our upbringings were less than perfect.
While I understand the disappointment that one can have due to an imperfect upbringing, focusing on your disappointment at Christmastime won’t change anything. Your past is your past. Being sad won’t change it. It certainly doesn’t make Christmas any better.
So, during the holidays, I try to take the focus off myself. I don’t give much thought as to whether my past Christmases were good or bad. And I don’t fret about the imperfections of my life. Instead, I try to focus on enjoying the season and being good to others.
You’d be surprised at how much your mood can be lifted if you stop staring at your navel, and instead, look at the people right in front of you. There is no better mood booster than doing something kind for another person, whether it be a family member or friend.
We often take for granted the people in our lives who show up every day. The holidays are a perfect time to go the extra mile for those folks and show them how grateful you are for their presence. When you do, you’ll start feeling better about the holidays, and you’ll be reminded of how blessed you truly are.
Have an Alcohol-Free Christmas
Admittedly, it is hard to avoid alcohol during the holidays. There are parties with spiked eggnog and champagne. And the television is replete with ads promoting “seasonal drinking.”
But here is the truth: Alcohol is a depressant. And if you struggle with depression during the holidays, drinking alcohol isn’t going to help you. It’s just going to make your life a thousand times worse.
Better to forgo alcohol during the holidays, and maintain your mental health. Instead, celebrate with other beverages of the season, like hot chocolate or hot apple cider. Consider baking Christmas cookies! Find food and drink that make the holidays special without alcohol.
Admittedly, it’s tempting to numb difficult feelings with alcohol during the holidays. But the problem is that while you’re drinking away your sorrows, you also likely aren’t pleasant to be around.
So, stop numbing yourself during the holidays with alcohol or any other substances. I’ll admit that life is imperfect. And sometimes it’s really hard. Accept that fact and find a way to make the holidays something that you can enjoy anyway.
If you feel depressed about your life during the holidays, make the decision to stop focusing on your woes for a while. Instead, use the holidays as an opportunity to make someone else’s life better. Do something truly special for your spouse, child or another family member. Maybe treat a friend to a great meal. Don’t avoid the holidays, but rather engage in them fully by doing something special for another human being. (To read about creating a Christmas that you can enjoy, click here.)
Sometimes holiday depression is a challenge that we cannot handle by ourselves. If you or someone you know is going through something difficult, or struggling with thoughts of suicide or self-harm, you’re not alone. Helplines can provide free, confidential and immediate support.
In the United States, Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
For global resources, click here.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1 The hardest part Read more
There are times in life when our circumstances can prevent us from being relaxed and happy. Dramatic changes like a Read more
When we are young, we seek many things in life. Adventure. Professional success. Romance. But as we get older, and Read more
There is always the potential for stress in our lives. Sometimes that stress is created by others. Sometimes we create Read more
The holidays can be difficult for many adults. That is because we have an idealized view of what Christmas and Read more
Achieving inner peace is challenging. It's not something that comes naturally to us. The human mind searches for things that Read more
Recently a friend of mine turned 50. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he said, “Peace.” Read more
“It ain’t over till it’s over” – Yogi Berra Yogi Berra made the above comment during the 1973 National League Read more
