The Happiness Blueprint: 5 Habits for a Happy Life

We often talk about how good habits can make us healthier.  But did you know that good habits can also make you happier?  It’s true!  There’s a blueprint for how to be happy.  And that “happiness blueprint” is comprised of positive, daily habits.

Realize that bad habits will lead you to have an unhappy life.  For instance, if you don’t do your dishes, make your bed or keep a tidy living space, your home life is going to be messy and depressing.  Similarly, if you’re rude, inconsiderate, or stingy, you won’t have good relationships with other people.  Bad habits create a bad life.

But the good news is that good habits create a good life!  That’s because our life experience is the sum of all the little things that we do on a daily basis.  So, if you habitually do positive things from the time you get up in the morning to the time you go to sleep, you’ll have a pretty good day. And ultimately, you’ll have a pretty good life!

Below are the five top habits that you need to adopt to create a happy life.  Consider this list to be your Happiness Blueprint.  By doing these five things on a daily basis, you will be able to create true happiness!

Practice Gratitude

Being grateful is a daily habit that you need to adopt in order to be happy.  That’s because life is by its very nature imperfect.  And if you solely focus on life’s imperfections and fail to recognize your blessings, you’re going to be unhappy. 

For instance, over the years, I’ve known people who were extremely unhappy.  And the strange thing was that there was nothing meaningfully wrong with their lives.  They had high levels of education, nice families and good jobs.  Their problem was that they lacked gratitude. 

These individuals were so focused on what was imperfect about their lives, that they couldn’t see their blessings.  So, they were miserable, angry and disgruntled, even though they were more blessed than 95% of the world’s population. 

So, the lesson is this: You can’t be happy without gratitude.  Simply being blessed with money, success and good relationships isn’t enough.  If you aren’t grateful for your blessings, and if you just focus on what’s missing, then you’ll be a sad and frustrated human being. 

Now, if gratitude is a habit that’s necessary for happiness, then how exactly do we develop it?  Well, there are different approaches.  Some folks keep a gratitude journal in which they take time each day to write down what they’re grateful for.  Technology can help in this regard.  For example, I use the Calm App, and every evening, it prompts me to write down 3 things that I’m grateful for.  It’s an easy way for me to maintain a gratitude practice!

But I think that the most important way to increase your gratitude is to simply be aware.  After all, it’s easy to go blithely through life and barely notice one’s good fortune.

So, if you want to become a truly grateful person, you need to be on high alert.  That means that every time something good happens, you need to make a mental note of it.  In fact, you should be making mental notes of both your big and small blessings.  That means that if you get a raise, be grateful.  And if you get a great parking space at the grocery store, also be grateful! 

Realize that good things are happening in your life all day long.  Even when you’re having a crummy day, there are good things happening that you should be making note of.  If you simply adopt the practice of noting every single good thing that happens to you, your perspective on life will change.  You’ll be a lot happier simply because you’ll be aware of and grateful for all the good in your life. 

Be Fully Present

Unfortunately, we live in a noisy world.  There are constant distractions that keep us from being fully present.  For instance, most of us regularly get text messages and emails throughout the day.  And then there are the distractions of the television, Internet and YouTube. 

But realize that we can choose whether to be distracted or not.  And the key to happiness is to make the choice to give up the distractions, and instead, choose to be fully present. 

The problem is that being fully present is hard for some folks.  I know people who struggle to be fully present. They need distractions.  They desperately need to hear the drone of a television.   Or, they constantly check their phones to see if they’ve received a text or email.  These folks need constant distractions because they’re trying to avoid their own thoughts.

But if you want to be happy, you can’t live a life in which you’re neurotically avoiding yourself.   Instead, you have to learn to be fully present. That means getting comfortable with yourself. And the only way to become truly comfortable with yourself is to engage in quiet reflection. That’s where meditation or prayer come into play.

Through meditation or prayer, we are able to get into a quiet place, where we can face the flurry of thoughts running through our brains.  And slowly, with practice, we can face those thoughts and learn to accept ourselves. 

The good news is that once you learn to accept yourself, you then can learn to like yourself.  And from that place of self-appreciation, you’ll be able to enjoy being fully present in the here and now.

Create A Tight Inner Circle

I always find Facebook to be curious.  Because the goal on Facebook is to have hundreds of “friends.”  And that seems to me to be the silliest pursuit possible.  Because there’s no benefit to having hundreds of Facebook friends.  Aside from bragging rights, it’s pointless.  Rather, to be happy, what you need is a small, tight, inner circle of high-quality individuals who are consistently kind to you, and who support you.

Now, I’ll admit that it takes time to create that tight inner circle.  I’ve been working on my inner circle for decades!  After all, people come and go from our lives.  But over time, you will find that there are a select few who are good and kind, and who will want to stick with you through thick and thin.  Those folks are your inner circle.

Realize that your inner circle is not necessarily going to consist of people who are biologically related to you.  You may have a family member or two in your inner circle.  You may not.  Biology is not the criterion with respect to creating your inner circle. 

For example, my inner circle contains a friend of mine from high school.  He and I have known each other for decades.  And for the last 20 years, we’ve been a constant source of support for one another.  We’ve encouraged and guided each other through all kinds of life’s challenges, including raising children, divorce, and the loss of parents.  He is a kind, wise, high-quality individual, and he’s been an invaluable member of my inner circle.

What I’ve found is that you don’t need a large inner circle.  In fact, when it comes to your inner circle, less is more!  What you need are a few wise, kind and encouraging people who are mainstays in your life. 

So, realize that your happiness blueprint includes a carefully chosen inner circle.  When you have a top-notch inner circle, you have a great team to support you through life.

Be Kind and Ethical at All Times

If you want to be happy and feel good about yourself, there’s one critical rule to follow: Be kind and do the right thing.  That means being kind even when you don’t feel like being kind.  It means being kind even if the other person is being a jerk.  And it means doing the right thing, even when it’s inconvenient.

Here’s the problem with being unkind or failing to do the right thing:  There’s never a good excuse for it. There’s never a good excuse to be mean, cruel, difficult or aggressive.  And there’s never a good excuse to be unethical. 

Now, I’ll concede that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes in our behavior from time to time. But the key is to own up to those mistakes.

But unfortunately, when most folks behave in morally wrong ways, they don’t own up to their mistakes. Instead, they twist themselves into pretzels to come up with excuses for their crummy behavior. “I didn’t keep my word because I was upset.”  “She irritated me, so I was rude.”  “I was mean because I was depressed.” 

The problem with coming up with excuses for your bad behavior is that in your heart of hearts, you know they’re just sorry excuses.  And so does everyone else.

So, to be happy, just be kind and do the right thing!  Be kind and do the right thing all the time.  Because then your life is so much easier.  You then can look in the mirror, and you’ll actually like the person who is looking back at you! 

Prioritize Self-Care

In order for life to run smoothly, we need to take care of both our physical and mental health. If we let either one go, life just doesn’t work.  So, to be happy, we need to make self-care a daily habit.

Now, taking care of yourself doesn’t mean that you have to transform yourself into a perfect person.  You don’t have to achieve the physical prowess of a professional athlete or the serenity of a Buddhist monk.  Rather, self-care simply is about staying on top of our physical and mental health, so that our bodies and brains don’t fall into disrepair.

Realize that self-care doesn’t have to be complicated!  Choosing healthy foods, exercising, meditating, and reading books, are all part of a good self-care regime.  The key is to make caring for your body and brain a top priority.

Unfortunately, sometimes society tries to make us feel guilty if we make ourselves a priority.  But that’s a wrong-headed view!  For instance, there have been times in my life when I felt obliged to spend too much time meeting the needs of others, and as a result, my own needs and self-care fell by the wayside.  That was regrettable.  But over the years, I’ve learned how important it is to put myself first, and then meet the needs of others.  That approach has allowed me to be a much healthier and happier person.

So, a self-care regime is going to be part of your happiness blueprint.  Realize that self-care is not selfish.  To the contrary!  Self-care allows you to be the most physically and mentally healthy person possible.  And when you are in that state, you can feel great, and you can be a blessing to others!

If you’re seeking to create a happiness blueprint for your life, start with the approaches above.  Realize that creating a happy life is an on-going process.  But if you work at it, over time you’ll be able to develop the positive habits and high-quality relationships that will lead to a truly happy life. (To read about how to develop a peaceful mind for greater happiness, click here.)