The word authentic has many definitions, but one of them is this: To be true to one’s own personality, spirit or character. So, living an authentic life means that we live in a way that is natural to us. We aren’t doing things for the purpose of impressing others or to fit in with the crowd.
The challenge is that it takes courage to live authentically. Why? Living an authentic life can be lonely. We aren’t a world full of iconoclasts. We are a world full of cookie cutter people. Most folks are trying to be like everyone else. They aren’t seeking to explore their own unique interests!
As a result, in our 20s and 30s, most people try to fit in so that they can do basic things, like make friends and get married. So, they dress, act and live in ways that are similar to everyone else. But then they get to age 40 or 50 and realize that something is wrong. They aren’t living authentically.
The problem is that if you live your life doing things to please others and fit in, you ultimately will end up being miserable. We’ve all made that mistake on occasion. I myself have spent times in my life doing things that I had no interest in doing. Why did I do this? Well, sometimes I did things just to fit in or go with the flow. And honestly, I didn’t have the courage in my 20s and 30s to simply do my own thing and ignore other people.
The problem with trying to “fit in” is that life is short. And any time that you spend living inauthentically is time wasted.
If you feel like you aren’t living your authentic life, consider following some of the approaches below. Create a life that reflects who you truly are. And then watch your happiness increase!
Ignore the Opinions of Others
When you decide to be your authentic self, you will find that it upsets those folks who are obsessed with fitting in. When I finally committed to living my most authentic life, it upset the people for whom being popular was their ultimate goal. These folks accused me of being “boring.” Or they said that I “didn’t like fun.” My goodness. The problem is that most folks are fixated on being popular. As a result, they feel threatened when others aren’t doing exactly the same.
I will concede that my authentic self is not very exciting! I am a quiet person by nature. Bars, parties and large, noisy events of any kind are not my cup of tea.
To me, having a couple of friends over for dinner is a lovely way to spend an evening. I enjoy reading and listening to classical and sacred music. I don’t wear trendy clothes (you will not see me in a pair of Uggs). Admittedly, none of that puts me on the path to popularity!
As a result, to live my authentic life, I’ve had to learn to ignore the opinions of others. Fortunately, I’m not interested in being popular. Having a handful of really good friends is more than enough for me. And if folks don’t find me to be interesting or exciting, I’m OK with that!
So, the question that you have to ask yourself is this: Do you want other people to like you? Is your goal to impress others and gain their approval? Or, do you want to live an authentic life?
If you want to live authentically, then you have to ignore the opinions of others. Instead, do those things that you enjoy. Live, dress and be the way that feels comfortable to you. And while being authentic initially may be lonely, ultimately, you will attract high quality people who appreciate the unique person that you are!
Your Authentic Self Is Your Best Asset
Realize that what makes you different is not a liability. Rather, your authentic self is your greatest asset. For example, now that I am older, I’ve come to realize that my quiet nature is my best asset. I am someone who likes to read and think. And it is more important to me to support one friend than to have 500 “friends” on Facebook.
Admittedly, being my authentic, quiet self does lead to popularity. We live in a world full of noisy, narcissistic people. Everyone is vying for attention. I could try to fit in with that world and focus on being popular. But then I would not be living my authentic life.
The good news is that my quieter personality makes me well-suited to being a writer. That is because I approach the world differently. By being more reserved, I have the chance to observe other people. And I read and think a lot which gives me the time to process my own views of the world. And those are all the seeds for being a good writer.
So, capitalize on those characteristics that are unique to you. Figure out the ways in which you may be different from other people, and consider how you can use your uniqueness to your advantage!
The key to being truly happy is to live an authentic life. When you spend the bulk of your time doing the things that interest other people, your life ends up being less than it should be. Instead, live a life of authenticity. Spend your days doing those things that you truly enjoy. Let every aspect of your life be a reflection of your unique self. I promise that if you live authentically, you will be the happiest you have ever been.
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