5 Ways to Become More Resilient

Life can be hard.  No one goes through life without having challenges.  That is why being resilient is the key to being successful in life.  In fact, learning how to be resilient and weather life’s inevitable storms is the best skill that you can develop.

The good news is that resilience is a skill that can be learned.  Even if today, you are the type of person who has difficulty rallying when faced with stress or disappointment, you can develop your mental toughness.  You can become more resilient, and in the process, become a more successful and happier person.

Below are 6 ways to develop your “resilience muscle.”  Consider applying them in your life, so that you more easily face any difficulty that comes your way.

To Become More Resilient, Give Yourself Breaks from Your Stress

At some point in life, you’ll likely face a long-term, stressful situation. For example, if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with a serious illness, that can be an on-going stressful situation.  Or, if you are in a bad marriage, that can be a long-term, highly stressful situation.  Being resilient when faced with long-term stress is difficult.

To manage on-going stress, you need to take regular breaks from thinking about the situation.  For example, many years back, my husband was hospitalized for over a month.  Between the stress of his medical condition, holding down a fulltime job and making daily visits to the hospital, on some days, I just barely hung in there.

However, I knew that in order to survive, I needed to get occasional breaks from my stress and think about something entirely different.  So, every evening, before I went to bed, I watched an episode of “Friends.”  Yes, that sitcom about six friends living in New York City in the 90s.  And for 30 blessed minutes each day, I got a break from the incredible stress I was experiencing and simply thought about something completely different.

And that is truly the key to being resilient while living with long-term stress.  Yes, you can’t ignore your problems in life.  You have to deal with them head on.  But on the other hand, you can’t think about your problems 24/7.  You need to give your brain a break to recharge. 

So, to be resilient in the midst of long-term stress, find ways to take your mind off your troubles.  You deserve the mental break, and to survive, getting refreshed each day is critical.

Be Confident in Your Ability to Solve Problems

Resilient people are confident people.  They know that no matter what problem comes their way, they can solve it.  Or at least deal with it. 

Sometimes, we mistakenly think that while other people can solve big problems, we don’t have that ability.  I used to think that.  I thought that everyone in my life was more capable than me.  And then one day, I woke up and realized that the folks who I thought were incredibly capable and smart really didn’t know any more than I did.  I also realized that I had the best judgment as to how to deal with any problems that came my way. 

And through that experience, I learned that when it comes to being resilient in the face of challenges, confidence is key.  You need to believe in yourself and your ability to solve your own problems. 

Now, other folks may try to undermine your confidence.  They’ll question your judgment.  They’ll tell you that you should listen to “so-and-so” for advice.  You have to learn to ignore those people. Instead, have confidence in yourself and in your own judgement.

So, be confident in yourself and your abilities.  Ignore the noisy know-it-alls.  When you have confidence in your ability to face any challenge, then you’ll be resilient in the face of any difficulty that comes your way. (To read about how to develop your confidence, click here.)

Develop A Support System

Resilient people don’t face life by themselves.  They have people who they can turn to for encouragement when life is hard.  So, to become more resilient in the face of challenges, you need to create a support system of people who believe in you, and who want what is best for you.

For example, when my husband was hospitalized a number of years ago, my support system consisted of some very dear friends from my church.  While he was in the hospital, those folks contacted me regularly, prayed for me and my husband, and offered to help me in any way that they could.  I will never forget their kindness.  They made me feel so much less alone during a very stressful time.

By having a support system when times are hard, you have a team of people to encourage you when you feel overwhelmed.  Those people can help you to remain positive when the world is telling you that things won’t turn out well.  They will remind you that you can face any challenge.  And all that encouragement will bolster your resilience like nothing else!

Develop A Positive Outlook

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that the world is full on naysayers.  Everywhere you turn, there’s someone who will tell you that things won’t turn out well.  “You’ll never overcome that illness.”  “You’ll never get out of debt.”  “That job (or that degree) is out of your reach.”  If I could put all the naysayers on an island so that they could stop discouraging the rest of us, I would!

One of the keys to being resilient is to learn to ignore the naysayers.  Instead, you have to adopt a positive outlook.  You have to believe that your problem can be solved, your illness can be overcome, or your goal can be reached.  Now, do we always get what we want in life simply by having a positive attitude?  Well, no.  But when we do get what we want, it is because we remained positive and kept at it, even when others said that we were being “unrealistic.”

Realize that negative people always fail.  They may have some initial successes.  But when life becomes hard, they crumple.  For example, I know people who’ve had every advantage.  They came from wealthy families.  They had the opportunity for good educations.  And yet, because they look at life through a negative lens, they can’t succeed.  At the first sign of an obstacle, they give up.  They figure, “Well, that’s impossible.  I just can’t do it.”  Their negativity has made them predestined to fail.

But resilient people are positive.  No matter what the obstacle, they believe that they ultimately can succeed.  And that belief propels them forward. 

So, be resilient when faced with challenges.  Believe that you can overcome any obstacle.  And then do everything in your power to succeed.  You will be surprised how far a positive attitude can take you when faced with a challenge. 

Develop a Thick Skin

People who lack resilience tend to take the comments of others personally.  If someone tells them that they lack the talent or intelligence to do something, they’ll believe it.  Or, if someone tells them that they’ll never be healthy or happy again, they’ll believe that too.

If you want to be resilient, you have to develop a thick skin and ignore the opinions of others.  Realize that the person with the greatest power over your life is you.  You control your attitude and effort in any situation.  No one else does.

For instance, when I was in high school, no one ever said to me, “You are really smart.  You have a bright future ahead of you!”  Admittedly, that type of encouragement would have been nice.  But it wasn’t necessary.  I didn’t need the encouragement of others to pursue my goals.

So, in high school, I decided that I wanted to go to college.  I then worked hard to get the best grades and SAT scores that I could.  And I ended up going to a good university.  The lack of encouragement didn’t prevent me from pursuing my goals. 

So, if you want to succeed in life, you have to be resilient in the face of negative feedback.  You have to believe that you can succeed, regardless of whether other people are cheering you on or not.  And if people are telling you that you can’t succeed, then develop a thick skin.  Let the opinions of others go in one ear and out the other.  Realize that they don’t know you, and they don’t know your ambition and drive. 

So, if you want to become the kind of person who can face any challenge successfully, develop your “resilience muscle!”  The more resilient you are in the face of life’s inevitable challenges, the more successful and happier you will be! (To read about how to insulate yourself against stress, click here.)