People often have misguided ideas about what it means to be good. Some folks think that if they are affiliated with the “right” political party, that makes them good people. Others think that if they have “correct” point of view on hot button issues (guns, abortion, etc.) that makes them good. Others think that if they practice the “right” religion, then they are by definition good.
But being a good person has nothing to do with your beliefs or your point of view. Rather, it has to do with how you act. How do you treat others? How do you treat animals and this earth?
After all, we all know people who profess to have high morals or serious religious beliefs who are unkind. They may speak cruelly to others. Or, they may be stingy or judgmental.
Now, I’ll concede that political and religious beliefs can be helpful. Having a sense of civic duty and a firm moral code can inspire us to be better human beings. But it’s important to remember that those ideas by themselves are meaningless unless they result in better behavior.
If you are seeking to be a good (or better) person, consider following the approaches below. You’ll find that if you follow these approaches, not only will you be on the path to being good, but you’ll be on the path to being a happier human being.
Have a 360 Degree View at All Times
If you’ve ever gotten a driver’s license, you likely had a driving instructor who told you, “When driving, you need to have a 360-degree view at all times.” All that means is that when you are driving, you should know what is going on in front of you, to your sides and behind you. Realize that isn’t just advice for driving. It’s sound advice for how to conduct yourself if you want to be a good person.
Any time you do or say something, you should be considering the effect of your behavior on everyone around you. Whether you realize it or not, your behavior affects other people. And if you want to be a good person, you should be striving to have the most positive effect possible on others.
As a simple and common example, let’s say that I just ate some fast food. I now need to dispose of the containers which the food came in. The easiest way to dispose of my containers would be to just drop them on the ground. But the problem is that then my behavior has inconvenienced others. Other people will have to look at the mess I just made. Worse yet, someone else will have to pick up after me.
If you want to be good, you can’t simply go through life doing what’s best for you. Good people continually consider how their words and actions affect others. And they strive to have the most positive effect on others possible.
Realize What Base You Started on and Be Humble
Barry Switzer, a former football coach, once made the following apt observation: “There are many people who don’t know what real pressure is. Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.”
What Mr. Switzer was trying to convey with his baseball analogy is this: We don’t all start out in life with the same blessings. So, some of us have an easier time achieving success simply because we started out ahead of others.
Good people get that fact. They understand that if they’ve achieved success in life, it may very well be because they had affluent parents, or they are a certain gender, or they have a certain skin color. And because they understand this fact, they don’t run around thinking that they’re better than others. Instead, they’re humble about their achievements.
For example, my upbringing was a mixed bag. I grew up in financially modest circumstances. My childhood was spent in a tiny house, and my parents couldn’t afford to buy me much in the way of clothing or other basics. However, my parents were highly educated. As a result, my going to college and graduate school wasn’t a huge achievement on my part. So, while I didn’t grow up in affluence, academically-speaking, I started out in life on third base.
By contrast, I know people who are the first in their families to ever go to college. So, for them, going to college is truly a big accomplishment.
The reality is that we all don’t start on the same base. And the sooner you recognize that fact, the easier it is to become a humble person.
The good news is that when we are humble, we’re less apt to judge others who haven’t achieved what we have. Instead, we realize that our achievements are largely due to the fact that we started out a couple of bases ahead of other folks. And our humility can lead us to be a lot kinder to those who didn’t start out with as much as us.
Take the High Road
Life can be very imperfect at times. No matter how nice you are, people can be rude and unkind. And no matter how hard working and conscientious you are, crummy things can happen to you. I’ll concede that it’s hard to know how to react to the unfairness of life.
But if you want to be a good, decent human being, the best response to every unfair, frustrating situation is to take the high road. Now, you may ask, “Well, if I take the high road, aren’t I letting other people get away with being terrible?” Yes. You are. I can’t sugarcoat that.
But what I can tell you is this: The only way to become a truly good person is to consistently take the high road. Because no matter what others around you do, you want to always hold yourself to the highest standard of behavior possible.
I’ll concede that it isn’t easy to take the high road. I’ve done my share of biting my tongue over the years when confronted with rude, unpleasant people. And it doesn’t feel great to have to tolerate the bad behavior of others.
However, what I’ve observed over the years is this. Successful, happy people aren’t rude and disagreeable. They don’t get angry, and they aren’t running around telling people off. That’s because they feel good about themselves and their place in the world.
Rather, the rude, difficult, disagreeable people in our world are the folks who are failing at life. They’re failing professionally and personally. And unfortunately, they choose to take their frustrations out on others. Sadly, I’ve observed this more times than I can count.
So, when dealing with difficult people, you certainly can retaliate by pointing out their obvious failings. But realize that in that situation, good people choose to take the high road. They choose to simply ignore the unsavory behavior of others and go on with their lives.
The good news is that when taking the high road, you benefit because you live up to the high standards that you’ve set for yourself. But more importantly, the world benefits because the world simply doesn’t need more people spewing angry words and sentiments.
If you are seeking to become a good human being, consider following the approaches above. If you do so, not only will you be happier with yourself, but the world will be a better place because of your efforts. (To read about how the practice of ahimsa can help you become a better human being, click here.)
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Such great advice! I love your point of view and feel like a better, happier person just reading (and saving and re-reading) your wise words. Thank you Meerabelle!
Gary (Nottingham, UK)
Thank you so much, Gary, for your kind comment! I am delighted that you enjoyed the post. We truly are all on this journey together to become better, kinder human beings. Again, thank you for your comment. It made my day!