How to Be a High-Quality Human Being

In our society, people have different aspirations. Some folks want to be financially successful. Their goal is to make more money than anyone else. Others want to be physically exceptional. When they walk into a room, they want be the most beautiful or the most handsome. And there are some who don’t care about money or appearance. They simply want to be the best in their field. Those are all fine goals. But none of those goals compares to achievement of becoming a high-quality human being.

Realize that high-quality human beings are rare.  But we know them when we see them.  For example, years ago, I had a boss who was truly a high-quality human being.  He had an exceptional work ethic.  Moreover, he cared about his staff.  He was concerned not just about whether people were happy at work, but how they were faring in their personal lives.  And most importantly, he was extremely wise and compassionate. 

After he passed away, I gave a lot of thought as to what it means to be a high-quality human being.  And I thought about how being wealthy, beautiful or successful all pale in comparison to being a high-quality person.

If you are seeking to become a high-quality human being, consider adopting some of the habits below.  If you do, you’ll end up being the kind of person who is not just a high-quality human being, but an exceptional human being.

Learn to Apologize without Hesitation

Unfortunately, I know many people who are incapable of apologizing.  Apologizing is hard for them because they are insecure.  They fear that if they admit making a mistake, people will find out that they are flawed. 

But being able to apologize with ease is what high-quality people do.  That’s because high-quality people are confident.  If they make a mistake, they can say “I’m sorry” without feeling inadequate. 

I’ve always admired confident people who are quick to acknowledge their mistakes.  As a result, over the years, I’ve made it my rule to emulate their behavior and apologize quickly, without hesitation!

And I don’t discriminate with my apologies.  If I make a mistake, it’s my rule to apologize to whomever I’ve wronged, whether it’s another adult, my daughter or even my dog!  But I’m a confident person.  So, I don’t feel that apologizing diminishes me in any way.  Instead, because I’m very comfortable in my own skin, I know that on occasion, I’ll make mistakes.  And as a result, I can apologize without issue.

Most importantly, I apologize freely because I’m more interested in having positive relationships with other people than in protecting my ego.  And I know that my ego will be just fine even after I say “I’m sorry.” 

So, if you are seeking to become a high-quality person, learn to apologize with ease.  Refusing to say you are sorry in some misguided effort to appear to be perfect will only result in your hurting your relationships with others.  Better to apologize freely, have positive relationships and be admired for both your confidence and your humility.   

Make It a Rule to Act with Integrity

High quality people conduct themselves with integrity.  That means that they operate in the same way in public as they do private. People without integrity don’t do that. Instead, they have a public face and a very different private face.

For example, when I was growing up, I had a friend whose father pretended to be a morally upright person.  He presented himself publicly as being an expert on matters of religion, ethics and morality.  Yet at home, he was cruel to his wife.  He was completely dishonest with the world about who he truly was.

A good way to test whether you are acting with integrity is to ask yourself these questions:  Would I want my friends, family and colleagues to know what I am doing or saying in this very moment?  Would I want everyone to see this text or email that I just wrote?  If your answer “no” to either of those questions, then you aren’t acting with integrity.  Your private behavior isn’t matching your public persona.

So, if you want to be a high-quality individual, operate with integrity.  Don’t live a double life.  Instead, make it a rule to be the same person in private as you are in public.

Encourage Others Regularly

It’s easy to be a critical person.  It doesn’t take a great mind to tell other people what you don’t like about them, or to pick on them for their flaws.  So, average people criticize because it’s easy.  But high-quality people don’t criticize.  Instead, they encourage.

Realize that it doesn’t cost any money to encourage others.  But it does take confidence.  People who encourage others typically are confident in themselves.  They don’t fear complimenting others because they know their own strengths.  As a result, the strengths of others don’t make them feel insecure.

I’ve been blessed in critical periods of my life to have had encouragers.  They were friends and colleagues who were kind enough to point out my strengths to me.  Without their encouragement, I wouldn’t have had the courage to pursue Big Goals in my life and to do the things that I needed to do to make myself happy.

In fact, whenever you look at someone successful, realize that they are where they are because a person (or a couple of people) encouraged them at a critical juncture.  High quality people encourage others because they know the power of an encouraging word.  They know that an encouraging word, given at the right time, can change the trajectory of another person’s life.

Be Generous with Your Time and Resources

There is a great saying that goes, “You can’t take it with you.”  All that means is that when you die, that’s it.  Whatever fortune that you’ve amassed, you can’t take it with you after you leave this earth.  High-quality people know this, and as a result, they are generous with their time and resources. 

For example, I know an elderly lady who is a strong believer in education.  So, she set up a fund to pay for the college educations of all her grandchildren. She believes in using her resources to make sure that the younger generation can be successful.

I know another lady who is very concerned about food insecurity.  So, she spends significant amounts of her free time doing canned food drives to provide food for the poorer members of her community.  These ladies both are being generous with their resources – money and time – to benefit others.

These two women are my definition of high-quality people.  They don’t just talk about wanting the world to be a better place.  Instead, they are using their resources to actually make the world a better place for others.

Be Gentle

Unfortunately, we live in a world in which people can be aggressive and, at times, even violent.  However, high-quality people are never aggressive, nor pushy, or violent.  Instead, they are gentle at all times.

High-quality people make it a rule to be gentle, regardless of the situation.  They are consistently kind and diplomatic in the way that they speak to others.  They refrain from bullying or arguing in order to get others to see the world their way. And they don’t touch others (whether they be other adults, children or animals) in anything but a gentle manner.

The reality is that in today’s world, aggression isn’t necessary in our daily interactions.  We aren’t cave people anymore.  We don’t need to accomplish things by brute force.  Instead, as evolved individuals, we can accomplish things by our intellect.

High-quality people realize this fact.  They realize that true success comes from having great ideas, not by being noisy or aggressive.  They understand that if you have to bully others or behave aggressively to get people to see the world your way, then your point of view is clearly flawed.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but if your way of seeing things is valid, you don’t have to yell and bully to get people to agree with you. 

For example, two of the greatest leaders of our time – Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi – were both pacifists.  They didn’t have to engage in violence or aggression to persuade others.  Why?  Because they had great ideas.  And they knew that if you have something valid to say, you don’t have to bully or shout other people down to persuade them.  Instead, if you have great ideas, people will naturally be inspired by what you have to say.  By contrast, if your point of view is abhorrent, people will reject your way of seeing things.

If you are seeking to become a high-quality human being, consider following the habits above.  By doing so, you will be on track to not only become a truly high-quality human being, but to become someone who makes the world a better place. (To read about the power of living an ethical life, click here.)