How to Be Happy in Your Own Skin

If you sometimes don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, don’t feel badly.  Everyone feels that way at one time or another.  Even the most seemingly confident folks don’t always feel perfectly comfortable with themselves.  That’s because learning how to be happy in your own skin is something that we each have to work on.

The problem is that, at times, our families and society at large can make us feel like we aren’t great just as we are.  After all, so many people in this world are reluctant to pay a compliment, and yet they are quick to criticize.  It’s no small wonder that many people wander this earth not feeling very good about themselves!

So, in order to feel happy in your own skin, you have to put on your blinders, ignore the world, and learn to like yourself.  You have to learn to appreciate your God-given intellect, personality, talents and body.  Believe me that the person you are today is wonderful!  You just have to realize that fact.

Below are ways to become more comfortable in your own skin.  Follow these approaches, become happier with yourself and realize how amazing you are! 

To Be Happy in Your Own Skin, Learn to Run Your Own Race

One of the most difficult life skills to learn is how to run your own race.  It’s also the most important skill that you will ever learn.  That’s because if you spend your life comparing yourself to others, you’ll be miserable.  The problem is that you’ll never be the most beautiful, smart or successful person in the world.  There will always be someone else who is better at certain things than you are. 

So, trying to be “the best” is a pointless, frustrating endeavor.  Instead, you have to learn to take the unique package of looks, brains and skills that you’ve been given and run with them. 

If you look at the most successful people in our society – Bill Gates, Oprah, Joe Biden – they are not the smartest, most attractive or exceptionally talented people in our world.  But what they’ve done is they’ve taken their unique combination of skills and attributes, and they’ve run with what they’ve been given.

Highly confident people run their own race.  They aren’t looking to their left or their right, worrying if someone else has a higher IQ or a better personality.  They are comfortable in their own skins because they are solely concerned with being the best that they can be.  What other people are doing is irrelevant to them.

So, if you want to get comfortable in your own skin, focus solely on yourself.  Stop worrying about what your neighbor is doing.  Instead, wake up every morning and commit to doing one small thing each day to improve yourself.  Have fun working on being the very best YOU possible.

Focus on Your Strengths

We all have physical imperfections and areas of our personalities or skills that need improvement.  Not one of us is perfect!  And, of course, it’s important to keep trying to improve ourselves over time.  But your areas that need improvement should not be your primary focus.  Instead, you should be spending your time focusing on your strengths.

Every day, you should be paying close attention to your attributes.  Figure out what is great about YOU.  Then focus on those things.  In fact, if someone asks you, “What are you good at?”, or “What are your natural qualities?”, you should be able to name at least 5 off the top of your head.

The key to feeling comfortable in your skin is to be cognizant of the fact that you possess skills, talents and qualities that wonderful.  Other people see them.  But what is most important is that you see them.

If you have trouble identifying your strengths, talk to a trusted friend or family member.  Find someone who is kind and thoughtful.  And then say to that person, “I’m having difficulty identifying my strengths and qualities.  Can you help me?”  I can assure you, that person will be delighted that you asked and will enjoy helping you see where your strengths and qualities lie.

So, learn to be happy in your own skin by focusing on your strengths.  Focus on what is great about you, and see your self-confidence soar.

Take Care of Your Physical Health

Admittedly, it’s hard to feel happy in your own skin if you are dissatisfied with your outside appearance.  So, if you want to be comfortable in your own skin, you want to take care of your body! 

Now, I don’t subscribe to the idea that we should be trying to look like the folks we see on magazine covers.  They don’t even look like they do on their magazine covers!  Those photos have been photoshopped and airbrushed to present an idealized picture of someone.

Instead, you want to care for your body so that your body is in its best shape possible.  In that way, you can go out into the world feeling great about yourself.  The only way to accomplish that is to do the basic things necessary to take proper care of your body: Eat a healthy diet.  Exercise daily.  Get enough sleep.  And practice good hygiene.  Do those simple things every day, and I can assure you that you will feel very comfortable in your own skin.  That’s because you will feel great about your outward appearance! 

So, if you are seeking to be happy in your own skin, care for your body.  Make sure that when you go out into the world, you are putting your best foot forward, appearance-wise.  Remember that the key isn’t to look like anyone else.  Rather, you want to be the most attractive version of YOU.

Practice Self-Compassion

Sometimes we aren’t happy in our own skins because we are being too hard on ourselves.  Realize that we all can be too hard on ourselves at times. 

For instance, when I was a young person in my twenties, I was very hard on myself.  I held myself to an incredibly high standard for my professional accomplishments and my appearance.  And I was being ridiculous.  When I look at pictures of myself from that period, all I see is a lovely, young lady who was doing beautifully in life.  I wish she had realized that.

The most important thing that you can do for yourself is to practice self-compassion.  That means stop expecting perfection from yourself!  No one is perfect.  And holding yourself to an unfairly high standard will not help you to be better.  It will only make you miserable.

More importantly, instead of viewing the areas where you need to improve as something bad, view those areas as opportunities for self-improvement.  And then enjoy the challenge of trying to get better with each passing day.  Self-improvement actually is fun when approached with the right attitude!

So, learn to be happy in your own skin by not demanding perfection from yourself.  Instead, practice self-compassion.  Love yourself for all your wonderful qualities, and be kind to yourself regarding your small imperfections.  Realize that we all have them!

Surround Yourself with Positive, Confident People

One of the most important things that you can do in life is to surround yourself with the “right” people.  The “right” people are positive, confident people who are encouragers.  They like themselves, and they go through life building others up.  And they enjoy the success of others as much as their own success.

I will admit that cultivating the “right” inner circle takes time.  For instance, you may have family members who are negative and critical.  Or you may have chosen the wrong friends who make you feel badly about yourself or inadequate.  To feel comfortable in your own skin, you have to extricate yourself from those relationships.

But I can assure you that when you eliminate the negative, critical people from your life (or at least dramatically limit your time with them), and surround yourself with positive, confident people, you will be so much happier.  That is because those people will lift you up, support you, and will appreciate you for who you are.  And you’ll feel happier in your own skin with all that positive feedback!

Embrace Your Uniqueness

If you aren’t happy in your skin because you don’t look, sound, think or act like the average person, then you’re missing this very important fact about life:  What makes you unique or different from everyone else is your key to success in life. 

Admittedly, what makes you similar to others may make you feel socially comfortable.  If you look like other people, or think like your peers, you may have an easier time fitting in.  And sure, that temporarily may make you feel happier in your own skin.

But being like everyone else ultimately will not make you interesting or successful.  The people who are highly successful in this world figure out what makes them different.  And then they capitalize on that.  They run with their uniqueness.

Think about Oprah.  She doesn’t look like everyone else.  She doesn’t sound like anyone else either.  But her unique appearance, voice and personality are captivating.  She has figured out how to capitalize on what makes her different.

So, don’t be uncomfortable in your skin because you are different from other people.  What makes you different is your key to your success, both professionally and personally.  So, celebrate your uniqueness and love all the things that make you different!

Be Grateful for Who You Are Today

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to “improve” ourselves that we don’t feel happy in our own skins right now.  But that isn’t what self-improvement is all about.  Self-improvement is about loving yourself as you are today, and then enjoying the challenge of getting a little bit better with each passing day.

Realize that we are all “works in progress.”  For instance, my goal has always been to become wiser, more confident, and more skilled every year.  My only regret is that I haven’t been grateful for my achievements at every stage of my journey.  Instead, I used to say to myself, “Well, I’ll be happy with myself once I’ve done X.”  That was silly. 

Being happy in your own skin requires you to love yourself today, regardless of where you are in your self-improvement journey.  Be grateful for how far you’ve come, and be happy with the person you are right now. 

We all have to work at self-acceptance and being happy in our own skins.  But that work is well worth the effort!  Learn to embrace your uniqueness and be happy in your own skin.  Remember that you are an amazing human being! (To read about how to be humble and yet confident, click here.)