How to Fix the World

I’ve given a lot of thought to the question, “How can I fix the world?”  After all, if you watch the news, it’s distressing.  And you reasonably can feel hopeless given the violence in the world and lack of compassion.  But there’s a simple answer to the question, “How can I fix the world?”  The answer is this: Fix yourself.

The reality is that your impact on the world at large is limited.  We like to pretend that it’s possible for one person to change the world.  So, we mistakenly think that politicians, activists and celebrities have a great deal of influence and are meaningfully impacting the world.  But the reality is that people’s day to day lives aren’t affected by those people. 

Rather, the people who truly affect our lives are the folks who we see on a daily basis – our family members, our co-workers and our friends.  And if those individuals are kind to you and help you, life is very good!  But if any of them treat your poorly, life is stressful and hard.

So, the reality is that you aren’t going to fix the world.  But this good news is this: You can fix your part of the world.  And the way to do that is to fix yourself. 

Below are five ways to fix yourself so that you can positively impact all who encounter you.  By merely fixing yourself, you’ll fix your part of the world, and that is invaluable.

Be A Peaceful Person

Being peaceful is the most important quality that you can develop as a human being.  Unfortunately, many people mistakenly believe that being peaceful is a sign of weakness.  They instead think that aggressive behavior is a sign of strength.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Aggressive behavior simply is a sign of emotional immaturity.  Realize that we all can be aggressive.  Even small children are aggressive at times because they lack self-control.  And if you are still being aggressive as an adult, that means that you haven’t grown up.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you go through life yelling, carrying on, punching walls, or throwing things, that means that you don’t have control over yourself.  You’re still a child, emotionally speaking.  And if you want to fix yourself, then you need to grow up, develop your self-control and become a peaceful person. 

Realize that the peaceful people in our society are the ones who are making the world a better place.  They aren’t creating unnecessary conflict and stress within their families and communities.  Instead, they calmly deal with life.  And what the world desperately needs is more calm, peaceful people.

So, if you want to change your part of the world, become someone who is peaceful.  Be the person who is steady and calm no matter what is going on.  If you do so, you’ll create peace and stability (and a better world) no matter where you go.

Encourage Others

Unfortunately, we live in a world in which people are more apt to make critical remarks rather than encouraging ones.  And sadly, those negative remarks end up damaging the self-esteem of others. 

So, given the level of negativity in this world, the most important thing that you can do for other people is to encourage them.  That means identifying things about other people that you admire, and then telling them so! 

For example, I grew up in a household in which I did not receive a great deal of encouragement.  So, I had to learn to be my own cheerleader, which is a tough way to get through life.  As a result, when I became a mother, I made it my mission to regularly encourage my daughter.

So, as a mother, I’ve chosen to regularly praise my daughter for all her qualities and talents.  I’ve made sure to acknowledge her inner and outer beauty, as well as her intelligence.  And what I’ve learned is this: Encouragement pays off.  Today, my daughter is a well-adjusted, successful young woman, in part because I’ve told her ad nauseum that she is a wonderful human being (and she is!).

What I know for sure is this: Encouragement changes lives.  When you encourage others, you give them the foundation upon which they can reach their potential.  

So, if you want to change the world, become an encourager.  Tell the people in your life what you appreciate about them.  Point out their qualities.  Celebrate their accomplishments!  Encouragement is something so simple, and yet so powerful, that you can do to change the lives of others for the better.

Express Your Gratitude

We often forget this one very important fact of life: People like to be thanked.  We all know that it feels good when you do something for someone else, and then that person tells you that they appreciated your efforts.

Why don’t we say thank you more often?  Well, we probably have a mistaken sense of entitlement.  “My spouse owes me a home-cooked meal every night.”  “My parents owe me a college education.”  Or, “My children owe it to me to take care of me in my golden years.”  Don’t get me wrong.  Those are all very nice things that we can do for others.  But also realize that in this life, no one owes you anything.

In this life, you are entitled to be cared for by your parents (or caregivers) until you are 18 years old.  After that, anything you get from anyone is a gift.  Treat it as such and be grateful! 

For instance, my husband and I are paying for my daughter to go to college.  And she is incredibly grateful to us.  She doesn’t take the opportunity to go to college for granted.  As a result, she works very hard and gets nothing but straight As.  She recognizes that her college education is a gift.

And we feel good about paying for her education because she is properly grateful.  Now, if she went to college, blew off her classes and took the expense of her education for granted, we’d reasonably be unhappy.  But we are happy to foot the bill because she is grateful and takes her college education seriously.

I often think of gratitude as the oil that makes all the gears of life move smoothly.  After all, we live in community with others, whether they are our families, friends or co-workers.  And all day long, we are doing things for others, and they are doing things for us.  And by constantly showing our gratitude, it makes all those relationships flow more smoothly.

So, if you often forget to express your gratitude, fix that issue!  Learn to say “thank you” at every opportunity.  Express your gratitude freely and often, and you’ll find that your part of the world becomes a more harmonious place.

Apologize without Hesitation

The other oil that makes the gears of life go smoother is the apology.  I don’t understand the psychology behind it, but there are some people cannot apologize.  No matter how egregious their behavior, they’re loath to utter the words, “I’m sorry.”

The problem is that certain behavior simply demands an apology.  If you are rude, disrespectful or just plan unkind, you should apologize for that behavior. 

Now, often what people do is they justify their bad behavior.  “I was upset, so I made an unkind remark.”  “I was in a bad mood so I spoke cruelly to another person.”  “That person did something to upset me, so I was justified in retaliating.”  The list of excuses people make for their bad behavior is endless. 

Realize that apologizing is one of the most important things that you can do in life.  So, if you have a mental block, and struggle to apologize when you’ve hurt other people, get past that block.  Get over your ego, stop justifying your bad behavior, grow up and be properly penitent.  Be humble, admit your errors and tell the people you’ve hurt those two simple but very powerful words: I’m sorry.

Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t take much effort.  But it will change your world, and it will benefit all who interact with you.

Be Wholesome

Suggesting that being wholesome will change the world sounds a little puritanical, but hear me out.  Being wholesome simply means living a decent, moral life.  So, when you live a wholesome life, you aren’t lying to others.  You don’t try to “get away” with stuff.  And you treat people with kindness and respect.  Those are the simple aspects of being wholesome.

But there are more complicated aspects to wholesome living.  It means not abusing alcohol, cigarettes or drugs.  It also means not looking at pornography, or otherwise viewing human beings as objects.  And it means treating animals and this earth with care and kindness.

All of that may sound strict and overly conservative.  But all of those behaviors hurt other people and society at large.  And if you really want to make the world a better place, being wholesome and refraining from those behaviors is what you need to do.

The reality is that making the world a better place takes some effort.  And self-sacrifice.  It means not just doing any saying whatever flies into your head.  Rather, it is about living intentionally and being very careful with your words and actions.

Now, will you make mistakes while trying to make the world a better place?  Yes, of course.  I’ve made lots of mistakes over the years.  We all have made mistakes that we regret.  You can’t get through life without having errors in judgment.  But if you want to fix the world, the key is to recognize your errors, and then each day, commit to becoming a better human being.

So, how can you fix the world?  The answer is very simple: You can’t.  But you can fix yourself.  And being your best self is the most effective thing that you can do to improve your small part of the world. (To read about how to be a high quality human being, click here.)