The Surprising Benefits of Being Different

We live in a world that promotes “fitting in.” And to a certain extent, fitting in is useful. For instance, it’s useful in your career. If you fit in at work by dressing in a traditional or “normal” sort of way, that will lead people to promote you. That’s because based on your attire, they’ll perceive you to be reliable. And if you fit in by adopting the manners of your culture, you’ll have an easier time navigating social situations. That’s because in every society there’s a certain etiquette that’s expected when you interact with other people.

But fitting in doesn’t always serve us. For example, a lot of people try to fit in with the rest of society by getting married. The challenge is that not everyone is suited for marriage. After all, a good marriage requires a lot of self-sacrifice and accommodation. And if you’re someone who is solely interested in satisfying your own interests, then marriage isn’t for you. Yet, so many people get married simply to fit in with the rest of society.

The same holds true for having children. Not many people have the right skills and personalities to be good parents. To be a good parent, you need to be calm, patient, and responsible. You also need to be very careful with how you conduct yourself because you are your child’s first role model. Yet, so many people have kids just to fit in with society and be like everyone else, even if they don’t have the aptitude for child-rearing.

So, fitting in isn’t always a solution in life. Instead, sometimes it’s better to simply be different. But the key is to be different in the right way and in ways that are beneficial to you.

Below are some of the surprising benefits of being different. Read about them and learn how embracing what makes you different ultimately can be what makes you an amazing human being.

Being Different Makes You More Confident

It takes confidence to be different in a world that rewards conformity. As my daughter said to me recently, “It’s a lot easier to be beige sometimes.” Her point was that when you do something differently from the rest of your peers, you invite the scrutiny and the criticism of others.

The truth is that you can go through life “being beige.” You can get a traditional job. And you can dress like everyone else. You even can enjoy all the things that the rest of society enjoys – televised sports, going to bars, shopping, etc. You don’t have to be confident with that kind of lifestyle because no one will criticize you. Frankly, no one will even notice you.

It takes confidence to be different. That’s because when you are different, people are going to criticize you. And withstanding criticism can be challenging.

For example, I don’t drink alcohol, and I don’t eat meat. And I live in a society in which drinking alcohol and eating meat are social norms. So, abstaining from both makes me different. And unfortunately, people don’t always react favorably to my dietary choices. But a long time ago, I decided to be confident, dig in my heels and not concern myself with the reactions of others.

Admittedly, being different takes some confidence. But the good news is that every time you make a choice to live authentically, according to your own values and on your own terms, the more confident you become. That’s because confidence is a skill that will develop with practice and over time.

Being Different Makes You Kinder

The world rewards “beige.” If you fit in and are beige, no one really notices you. And as a result, no one is mean to you. That’s because you blend in. But unfortunately, if you’re different, at times, people will be mean. You’ll be picked on or not included simply for being different.

The benefit of not always being included is that it changes our perspective. When we aren’t always included, and life is a little bumpy, we tend to be more gentle with others. That’s because we know firsthand that life sometimes can be hard. And it helps if folks treat us gently!

For example, I am a mixed-race person. I have one parent who is Indian and one parent who is Caucasian. As a result, I was a little bit different from the purely white children in the town where I grew up. In addition, during my teens, my parents divorced, which was unusual for families from my generation. So, for a whole host of reasons, I didn’t quite fit in as a young person.

But being different ultimately has benefitted me. Being different has led me to have a lot of empathy for other folks who similarly don’t quite fit in due to their sexual orientation, nationality, skin color, and all the other ways in which we can feel like we are outside of the norm. So, I go through life with a kinder, gentler approach to other people, simply because I know how it feels to not quite fit in.

Not only has being different made me a kinder person, but it has led me to view kindness as the most important human quality. So, I don’t care about how other people dress. Nor do I care about their ethnic background, or what they do for a living. Yes, those are things that make other people interesting to me. Instead, the most important thing I want to know when I meet someone is this: Are you kind?

Being Different Will Make You More Successful

Fitting in and being beige will not prevent you from doing well in life. You’ll be able to fit in, make a reasonable salary, and stroll easily along. But you won’t live an exceptional life.

The people who live exceptional lives typically are the people in our society who are different. That’s because what makes people different, makes them interesting. And what makes people interesting often is what makes people extremely successful.

Think about all the people you know who are highly successful and influential. Oprah. Bill Gates. Jane Goodall. These are not average, beige people. Rather, they are people who are very different from the rest of society. And at a certain point in their lives, they figured out that what made them different was what was going to make them successful.

So, don’t fear what makes you different. Yes, I’ll concede that not fitting in can be hard. In fact, at times, it can be very stressful. But if you can get over the fear of being different and not fitting in, then you can embrace what makes you different. And then you can use it to your advantage.

What you need to realize is this very important fact about life: What makes you different is what ultimately can make you very successful, if you use it correctly.

If you are concerned about being different, I hope that after reading this post, you’re feeling a little bit better! Know that what makes you different is also what can make you more confident, kinder and more successful. Embrace being different and love being your authentic self! (To read about how to live an authentic life, click here.)