Improve Your Life by Becoming a Gentle Person

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that misguidedly is enamored with aggressive behavior.  So, we elect noisy, rude politicians.  We view unkind remarks on social media as “clever.”   And the pushy people in our society are considered to be “go-getters.”  And while society may applaud those behaviors, the reality is that behaving in a demanding, rude and aggressive manner ultimately will be your downfall.  Instead, to be a successful human being, you need to become a gentle person. 

Realize that anyone can be pushy and aggressive.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but toddlers can be pushy and aggressive!  Behaving in such a manner simply means that you don’t have control over yourself.  Rather, you are managed by your emotions.  Not your intellect.

It takes emotional maturity to operate in a gentle, controlled, and kind manner at all times.  But the good news is that with time, we can develop our emotional maturity and become gentler people. 

Below are ways that you can improve your life by becoming a gentler person.  Consider these benefits, become a kinder, gentler person, and see your life improve dramatically!

Being Gentle Will Improve How People Perceive You

It should be of no surprise that gentle people have better relationships with others.  That is because we all want to be around gentle, calm people.  No one wants to be around folks who are aggressive, highly emotional or dramatic.  Those people are just draining. 

Gentle people are not only more pleasant to be around, but they are viewed as being wiser.  After all, if you have a problem, you aren’t going to seek advice from the aggressive, highly emotional person, who regularly flies off the handle.  Those folks wear their emotionally immaturity on their sleeves.  Rather, if you need advice, you are going to seek out someone who is calm and measured.  Someone who exhibits restrained behavior regardless of the situation.

For example, I had a mother-in-law who was a very gentle person.  She was easy-going and rarely got irritated.  As a result, people sought her counsel because she was perceived as being wise and capable.  If folks had a problem, they wanted her advice.  Admittedly, there were other people in the family who were noisier and had big opinions.  But hers was the advice that everyone sought.

So, if you want people to view you as being wise and capable, learn to be gentler and calmer.  If you do so, your family, friends and colleagues will hold you in the highest regard!

Reduce Your Stress with a Gentle Lifestyle

One of the benefits of being gentler is that it improves our mental and physical health.  Realize that when we are aggressive and difficult, we create stress in our minds and our bodies.  After all, how do you feel when you get mad?  Well, you probably feel emotionally bad for getting upset.  And your head, neck or stomach probably hurt, as well.

When we are calm and gentle, we significantly reduce the stress in our bodies.  That’s because we are responding to issues in a mature, reserved manner.  We aren’t willy-nilly flying off the handle or otherwise raising our blood pressure with frustration.

Years ago, I worked with a gentleman who was a very gentle, mild-mannered person.  No matter what was going on around him, he responded calmly and confidently.  I never saw him lose his composure or act in a manner that wasn’t proper.  He’d spent many years in the military, and he had a very professional, quiet approach to all things.  As a result, he was a very relaxed person.  He was fit, healthy, and at ease with himself. 

I’ve also known people over the years who were not gentle people.  And what I’ve observed is that being aggressive and irritated destroys your health.  Aggressive folks are either miserable because they are always mad, or they abuse alcohol, nicotine or other drugs to reduce their stress. 

So, if you want to be mentally and physically healthier, become a gentler person.  When you behave in a gentle manner, you reduce your stress, which will make you both happier and healthier!

Being Gentle Improves Your Self-Esteem

Our gentleness should not only extend to those around us, but it should also extend to ourselves!  When we are gentle with ourselves, our self-esteem increases.  That’s because we stop expecting perfection from ourselves, and just learn to like ourselves.

 So often, we can be very brutal with ourselves.  If we make a mistake, we beat ourselves up over it.  We may hold ourselves to unrealistically high standards.  And then when we don’t achieve those standards, we feel badly about ourselves. 

For example, I am careful to treat myself gently, or I can fall into the habit of being too self-critical.  In fact, when I start going down the road of self-criticism, I will stop and say to myself, “No one’s perfect.  I need to stop being so hard on myself.”  By going easy on myself, I stop self-criticism in its tracks!

So, improve your self-esteem by just being gentle with yourself.  Don’t demand perfection from yourself.  After all, look around you!  No one is perfect.  Imperfection is simply the price that we pay for being human beings.  So, be kind to yourself and like yourself as you are, imperfections and all!

Being Gentle Will Lead to Greater Emotional Maturity

Practicing gentleness involves self-control.  That’s because gentleness doesn’t come naturally to us as human beings.  When we’re irritated, we want to snap or yell.  And if we are under stress, we want to bark at other people.  So, gentleness is a skill that has to be learned. 

But if you commit to becoming a gentler person, you also will become a more emotionally mature person.  Because to be gentle, you have to develop your self-control.  Instead of flying off the handle, gentle people choose to use wisdom, compassion and kindness in every situation.  And those are the hallmarks of the mature individual.

Realize that becoming a gentler person doesn’t happen overnight.  It takes practice.  In fact, I’d argue that it’s a lifelong pursuit.  But it’s a pursuit that’s well worth your time!  After all, imagine if we lived in a world in which everyone was working toward becoming a gentler human being.  We would have a very different world, indeed.

So, work at being a gentler person.  Develop your self-control.  Cultivate an overall attitude of compassion and kindness.  If you do, not only will you grow in emotional maturity, but you’ll make the world a better place!

Be a Positive Role Model for Others

One of the most effective ways to change the world is to be a positive role model for others.  So, if you want to make the world a gentler, kinder place, the best way to do that is to become a gentler person yourself.

For example, my daughter is my role model for kind, gentle behavior.  She treats animals and children with incredible kindness.  She is slow to judge, and quick to offer compassion to people who are struggling.  Every day, she inspires me to try to be a better, gentler person.

What we don’t realize is that we constantly are influencing those around us by our behavior.  You see this phenomenon in families.  After all, we all know that high strung, agitated parents produce high strung, agitated children.  And easy-going, relaxed parents tend to have easy-going, relaxed children. 

So, if you want to positively influence those around you, as the saying goes, “Be the change that you want to see in the world.”  In other words, if you want to live in a kinder, gentler, more decent world, then become a kinder, gentler, more decent person.

A Gentle Disposition Allows Us to Bring Comfort and Help to Others

By becoming gentler people, we also can be a source of comfort to others.  After all, when you are struggling, you aren’t going to seek out help from folks who are tense and dramatic.  Rather, you are going to look for someone who is calm and easy-going.

For example, I have a friend from high school who I’ve turned to for the last two decades whenever I’ve had a problem.  He has a gentle, compassionate point of view.  And when he offers advice, it is always from that perspective.  I’ve found him to be an incredibly wise person, and that wisdom is rooted in his first and foremost being a gentle and kind person.

Realize that we are in the best position to comfort others when we are gentle, calm and relaxed.  It is from that place that we can help people to calm their minds and gain perspective on their problems. 

In fact, if you want to be a better friend, parent, or spouse, become a gentler person!  Being kinder and gentler is a guaranteed way to improve every one of your relationships. 

The benefits of becoming a gentler person are numerous.  Realize that by becoming gentler, you will have improved relationships, better mental and emotional well-being, increased emotional maturity and a positive impact on others. Wow.  In fact, just by being a gentler person, you will contribute to creating a more harmonious and compassionate world. (To read about how to become a better person, click here.)