The key to happiness is to learn how to take responsibility for yourself. Once you start taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness, you become a powerful person. That is because you aren’t creating excuses for why you can’t have the life you want. And you aren’t waiting for someone else to create a beautiful life for you. Instead, you are taking action to create the life you desire.
Admittedly, taking responsibility for ourselves and our happiness is hard. We spend our younger years having others take care of us. If we are hungry, hurt or sad, we look to grownups to fix the problem. As teenagers, we start to become increasingly responsible for ourselves. And, by the time we become adults, in theory, we are supposed to be fully responsible for ourselves and our happiness.
Yet, most adults resist taking this kind of responsibility. Most folks prefer to blame someone else when they are unhappy. When they can’t meet their bills or if they don’t have the job they’d like, they place the blame on others. Why do people engage in the Blame Game? Because taking responsibility for ourselves is challenging. When we take responsibility for our lives, we can’t just sit back and complain. Instead, we have to work to fix our problems.
Below are some ways to start taking responsibility for your life and thereby become a happier you.
Stop Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness
One of the biggest ways that we keep ourselves from being happy is by blaming others when we are unhappy, instead of taking responsibility for our own happiness. But the truth is that once we become adults, we have the ability to choose how we live our lives. And we have the power to make life choices that will make us happy … or not.
For example, very often if we are unhappy due to a bad relationship, we blame the other person. “If only Jim/Sue would be kinder/more pleasant, then I could be happier.” That is flawed thinking. When we think that way, we are failing to take responsibility for our own lives.
When we choose to take responsibility for ourselves and our happiness, we don’t place the blame on the other person. Instead, we place the blame squarely where it belongs – on ourselves. So, if you are unhappy because you are in a bad relationship, that is your choice. Realize that by choosing to stay in the bad relationship, you are choosing to be unhappy.
What I have learned the hard way in life is that (within reason) other people can do and say whatever they want. Unfortunately, there are no laws against being rude, difficult or dramatic. People can act however they want to act, and that is their choice.
However, it is your choice as to whether to be in a relationship with someone who is problematic. So, if your relationship is making you unhappy, stop blaming the other person. Take responsibility for your life and choose your relationships carefully. Eliminate the people from your life who needlessly create stress, and do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
Taking Responsibility by Taking Action
Taking responsibility for your life means being proactive. If there are areas of your life that are unsatisfactory, do something about it. Don’t expect the situation to change as a result of wishful thinking.
For example, if you don’t like your job, realize that in all likelihood, the job isn’t going to change. So, don’t just sit back and complain. Look for a new one that will be rewarding to you. If you need additional education or certifications to qualify for the job of your dreams, get them.
It is empowering to take action to improve your life. We become depressed when we sit back, and grudgingly accept our lot in life. By contrast, we become hopeful when we take specific, concrete steps each day toward our own happiness.
To give you a simple example, let’s say that you are frustrated because your house is a mess. Every day, when you return from work, the condition of your home is discouraging. It is cluttered and disorganized. Yet the thought of cleaning it from top to bottom seems like too great a task.
Don’t try to fix the situation in a weekend. Instead, do a little bit each day. Start with a drawer and clean it out. If you do a little bit each day, you will be surprised by the progress that you can make in just a month.
By taking action to improve our lives, we take responsibility for our lives. So, don’t sit back and passively wait for your life to get better. When you do a little bit each day toward creating a happier life, you will begin to see change, and you will realize how powerful you really are.
Take Responsibility for What You Actually Can Change
When we take responsibility for our lives, we take action only on those things that we can change. And we let go of trying to change those things that our outside of our control. In short, we stop tilting at windmills. (To read more about accepting what we can and cannot change, click here.)
For example, you cannot change other people. You cannot change the weather or the economy. Those are all things that are outside of your control. And if you spend your time trying to control or change any of those things, you are wasting your time.
The only way to be truly responsible for yourself is to change the one person you have power over – you. So, work at changing the areas in your life over which you have true authority. For example:
*Change your diet and exercise routine, and thereby become healthier.
*Eliminate negative, difficult people from your life, and become more relaxed.
*Choose to be kind and have better relationships with others.
*Work hard and save your money, and thereby become financially secure.
When we take real responsibility for our lives, we aren’t fixated on changing the things that are outside of our control. Instead, we take concrete action to change those things that are within our control.
Taking responsibility for your life is powerful! When we take responsibility for ourselves and our choices, suddenly, we have the power to choose great relationships, satisfying jobs and a good life. So, stop blaming others or your circumstances for your dissatisfaction. Instead, take responsibility for your life, take action, and create a great life!
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