The 5 Keys to Believing in Yourself

To be successful in life, the most important skill that you can master is to believe in yourself.  That one skill is the difference between people who achieve their dreams and people who don’t. 

You need to believe in yourself because, unless you are very lucky, you aren’t going to get a lot of encouragement in life.  Most folks, from your parents to your spouse to your friends, aren’t going to give you the kind of encouragement that you need to succeed. 

For example, some parents discourage their children from pursuing their dreams because they don’t want their children to experience disappointment.  There are people who discourage their spouses from being successful because they fear being outdone by their significant other.  Your friends may discourage you for the same reason – what if you succeed where they have failed?

So, realize that if you want to achieve any level of success, you can’t rely on other people to be your cheerleading squad.  Instead, you need to believe in yourself and in your abilities.

Below are 5 key things that you can do to start believing in yourself.  Adopt these approaches to achieve your greatest goals!

Ignore the Naysayers

One of the big ways that we undermine our belief in ourselves and our ability to accomplish our goals is by listening to naysayers.  Of course, naysayers don’t identify themselves as such.  Instead, they are the folks who say that they are giving you “well-meaning” advice. 

For instance, the naysayers will tell you that what you are trying to accomplish isn’t “realistic.”  To that end, the naysayers are very adept with statistics.  They’ll explain that only 1 in 1,000 people accomplish what you are trying to do.  Or they’ll say (with a look of concern), “I just want you to understand that what you are trying to do is very hard.”

I shudder to think of how many inventions have not been created due to the naysayers.  How many artists, musicians and scientists did not reach their full potential thanks to people who said, “Realize that what you are trying to do is just too difficult.”

In order to accomplish anything in life you have to stop listening to the naysayers.  You have to believe in yourself enough to say, “That person doesn’t know what they are talking about.  They don’t know me.” 

And truth be told, they don’t know you.  The naysayers don’t know your passion for your goal.  And they don’t know the hard work that you are willing to put in to accomplish that goal.  Because, at the end of the day, passion and hard work are the only things that matter when it comes to successfully accomplishing anything.

Don’t Define Yourself by Your Past Failures

So often, people stop believing in themselves after one failure.  For example, if someone can’t get their first book published, that person will believe that they can’t become a writer.  Or, another person may have a failed business.  And after that experience they end up believing that they can’t become an entrepreneur.  Folks often define themselves by that one failure, and then they conclude that they cannot achieve their dreams.

But that is the wrong way to look at failure.  Failure isn’t a dead end.  It is simply a part of the path to success.  Realize that you cannot achieve anything great without a couple of failures along the way. 

Abraham Lincoln lost many elections prior to becoming our greatest president.  Thomas Edison performed hundreds of experiments before finally inventing the light bulb.  Ask any accomplished person about their path to success, and they undoubtedly will tell you that they experienced many failures along the way.

Failure is an inevitable part of the path to success.  So, don’t define yourself by it.  And don’t stop believing in yourself when it happens.  Instead, accept it as part of the journey. (To read about embracing failure on the path to success, click here.)

Stop Waiting for Permission to Pursue Your Dreams

So often, I read stories about people who had a teacher or boss who said to them, “Wow, you are so talented.  You should do X with your life.”  And then they went on to be very successful in X.  That is lovely – for them.  That kind of serendipity won’t necessarily happen to you. 

As a result, sometimes you just have to be your own cheerleader.  And you have to pursue your dream simply because you want that dream. 

The challenge is that we often wait for permission to pursue our dreams because we are insecure.  So, we are hoping that someone will eliminate that insecurity by telling us, “You can do it!”  Realize that person may or may not come along.  So, don’t stand around waiting for someone to give you permission to pursue your dream. 

You don’t need another person to tell you that you can do it.  Tell yourself!  You know your desire for that dream.  You know how hard you are willing to work to achieve that dream.  Realize that you are the best person to give advice on what you can and can’t accomplish.  So, believe in yourself by being your own cheerleader.

Prepare, Prepare, And Then Prepare Some More

A surefire way to believe in yourself is to be fully prepared when facing any situation.  Preparation is the foundation for confidence.  It is much easier to believe in yourself if you are the most prepared person in the room.

For example, I am not a natural performer.  But on occasion, I am asked to play my flute in church.  The only way I can perform in public is to practice, practice, practice.  I will practice a piece at least 100 times before I perform it in public. 

Through preparation, I end up believing in myself.  By practicing the piece over and over again, I end up believing that I can play the piece well.  And that belief gives me the mental wherewithal to perform in public.

In fact, throughout my life, I’ve found that the more I prepare, the more confident I feel.  Through preparation, I can walk into any situation believing in myself, and saying, “I can do this!”

Know Thyself

In order to believe in yourself, you shouldn’t view yourself through the eyes of other people.  Your opinion of yourself should be based upon your own fair assessment of your strengths and weakness.  In short, the best way to believe in yourself is to “know thyself,” as wisely said by Aristotle.

Realize that other people’s opinions of you are unreliable.  Most people will like you if you are doing exactly what they would like you to be doing.  But if you do something slightly different, their opinion of you will be negative.  As a result, the opinions that others have of you have very little to do with you.  Their opinions are based on their own interests and desires.

So, you need to become adept at assessing your own abilities.  If you are honest with yourself, you know that you are better at some things than others.  You also know your potential.  You know that with some hard work, you have certain skills which could be improved dramatically.

So, don’t look to the opinions of others to feel good about yourself.  Instead, learn to assess yourself.  Know yourself.  Identify your strengths.  In doing so, you will be able to believe in yourself with unwavering confidence.

Believing in yourself is your first step on the path to success.  Follow the approaches above.  If you do, you’ll approach any goal with confidence, believing in yourself, and knowing that you can do it!