5 Surprising Reasons Why You May Be Stagnating in Life

It’s easy to get into a rut in life. When we’re in a rut, we feel as though life isn’t moving in a positive direction. In fact, we feel as though life isn’t moving at all! If you feel that way today, don’t worry! At one point or another, we’ve all felt as though we are stagnating in life.

Now you may be thinking to yourself, “Perhaps I should just stay in this rut. It’s comfortable! I don’t want to do anything new with my life. Maybe it’s better just to putter along.” Well, frankly, you don’t have to do anything new. There’s no law which says that you have to keep growing and advancing.

But here’s the problem: You only get one life. And it makes some sense to live your one and only life well. Now “living well” means something different to everyone. But at a minimum, it means reaching your full potential by using whatever unique talents you possess.

There is a wonderful quote by the writer, Erma Bombeck, which encapsulates this idea:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left but could say I’ve used everything you gave me.”

If you are stagnating in life and want to start living to your full potential, you need to do some soul searching. You need to figure out why you are stagnating. And then you need to figure out how you can get out of your rut.

Below are five questions to ask yourself if you feel like you are stagnating in life. Consider whether any of these issues apply to you, and then learn how you can change things around and start living your life to its fullest:

Do You Lack of Clear Goals?

Realize that it’s not necessary to be a high achiever in order to have a great life. You don’t have to climb Kilimanjaro or become president in order to have lived your life well. Nor do you have to make a lot of money or have a fabulous career. None of that really matters. You aren’t more valuable on this earth simply because you achieve things.

But achievement is helpful when we feel like we are stagnating in life. And it’s helpful for this one reason: Achievement is energizing. When we achieve things, whether we’re promoted at work, or we learn a second language, we feel great! When we achieve things, we feel like life is moving in a positive direction. We no longer feel like we are stagnating in the same place or going backwards.

So, if you want to get out of a rut, and start feeling energized about life, achieve something! Set some clear goals, and then accomplish them.

Now, you can have lofty goals like becoming the president of your company. Or, alternatively, you can have mid-range goals like running a marathon or learning a second language. You can even set simple, small goals, such as learning how to make a quiche.

And the most effective way to stop stagnating in life is to have a lot of goals running at the same time. For instance, I’m always working on different goals. I have the goal to write one post per week for this blog. I also am working on my French language skills. And in the kitchen, I’m always trying to master some new vegetarian recipes.

To be fair, I don’t have to do any of that. I could simply work at my job, earn a paycheck, and do the bare minimum in life. But the problem is that if I took that approach, I’d feel as though I was wasting this one and only life that I’d been given. So, I work hard to do more than just the bare minimum!

So, if you are stagnating in life, set some goals. And then work hard to achieve them! You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how energizing it is to set goals and then accomplish them.

Do You Fear Change?

Oftentimes, we stagnate in life because we can’t get over our fears. We may fear the discomfort of trying something new. Or, we may fear making a necessary change to move our lives in a more positive direction.

For example, many years ago, my life was stagnating. I was living overseas and my life and career were going nowhere. It was obvious that I needed to make big changes. I needed to move back to my home country, re-ignite my career, and embark on a new life.

But I was fearful. I was afraid that I couldn’t successfully start a new life. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to find work and take care of my daughter. And I feared change. I worried that making the necessary changes to my life would ultimately make it worse!

If you happen to have those kinds of fears about change, trust me. I know just how you feel! But my advice regarding change is this: Just Do It, as the Nike ad says. Because if you approach any change with a positive attitude and determination, it will work out. And it likely will work out better than you could have expected.

The good news is that I ultimately got over my fear of change. I returned to my home country and started a new life. And while there were some bumps along the way, things worked out very well! I re-ignited my career and landed a great job. And as for my daughter, she thrived and was a straight A student. She ended up going to a great university and now is on a wonderful path in life. Being brave enough to change my life got me out of the rut that I was in.

The reality is that sometimes getting unstuck requires some courage. You have to be brave enough to make the necessary changes to get out of your rut. So, if your life is stagnating, and you know that you need to make some changes, feel the fear and make those changes anyway!

Do You have Negative or Limiting Beliefs?

Some people stagnate in life because they have wrong-headed beliefs. Unfortunately, many of those beliefs come from their parents. Their parents plant seeds in their heads that they aren’t good enough, or that they don’t deserve success.

What I’ve observed over the years is that there are two kinds of parents. There are the parents who want their children to succeed. They want their children to do at least as well as them in life, but preferably better! I’ve fallen into this camp as a mother. I want my daughter to succeed. So, when she was a young person, I did everything possible to provide her with the right environment in which to study and learn. And after she graduated from high school, I and my husband paid for her to attend a top university, so that she could get the best college education possible. Through my actions, the message I was sending to her was this: “You are highly capable, talented and smart. And you deserve tremendous success in life!”

But sadly, there are some parents who are profoundly insecure. And they don’t want their children to succeed. They didn’t achieve all that they wanted to achieve in life, and they feel badly about that. And they know that if their children out-do them, that will make them feel even worse. So, they sabotage their own children.

They instill in their children limiting beliefs, like “You aren’t as smart as other people.” Or, “You’ll never achieve that level of success.” And because as children, we trust our parents, we take in those messages.

And there are other parents who more subtly sabotage their children. They don’t provide them with home environments which are peaceful and quiet, so that they can study and get good grades. Or they don’t help their children with their college expenses. And the unspoken message they are sending to their children is that they don’t believe in them.

If you had parents like that, who sent you wrong-headed messages, you may be stagnating in life because you actually believe those messages. And as a result, you don’t think that you can move beyond your current station in life. Well, let me give you a news flash: Your parents (or whoever told you that you aren’t good enough) are dead wrong. They didn’t know what they were talking about. You can do whatever you set your mind to.

Now, I know that getting rid of negative beliefs is difficult. And if you can’t get rid of them, I have an approach that works: Try anyway. What does that mean? That means that even if you happen to believe that you aren’t good enough to do something, give it a shot! What do you have to lose? Nothing. And you might surprise yourself. With a good attitude and a lot of work, you’ll very likely succeed, even if the whole world tells you otherwise.

So, if you are stagnating because of negative of limiting beliefs, get rid of those beliefs. And if you can’t get rid of them, decide to just try to achieve your goals anyway. The only thing that you can possibly risk is getting out of your rut. And that seems like a good risk to take!

Do You Lack Self-Discipline?

There is one key to success in life and that is self-discipline. Without you will achieve nothing. And with it, you can achieve nearly anything that you set your mind to.

Now, many people think that the key to self-discipline is to focus exclusively on being disciplined in whatever they are trying to achieve. So, if someone is trying to run a marathon, they’ll be disciplined enough to get up every morning and run. And that will help them meet that one goal.

But if you want to stop stagnating in life, your life needs an overhaul. And that mean learning to be disciplined in all things. It means being disciplined enough to do both the small things, like making your bed each morning, to the big things, like living within your means.

You don’t just want to be disciplined in one area. The key to being a successful human being is to be disciplined in all areas. That means having a disciplined lifestyle.

People stagnate both professionally and personally when they don’t have a disciplined lifestyle. So, they don’t take care of their home environments. As a result, their personal space is a mess of unmade beds and dirty dishes. They also don’t take care of themselves, and fail to exercise and eat healthy foods. And their personal lives are a mess because they do and say whatever flies into their heads without regard for their effect on other human beings.

I know people who are undisciplined in that manner. And I’ll tell you that their lack of self-discipline results in their being in a rut in life. They can’t move in a positive, forward direction because they don’t have the discipline to do so.

If you are stagnating because you are undisciplined, you need to develop habits that train your brain to be self-disciplined in all areas. Start with small things. Make your bed every morning, without fail. Wash your dishes immediately after every meal. Dress in a proper manner, and keep your overall appearance tidy.

If you start with those kinds of small, good habits, you soon will become disciplined in other areas of your life. From there, you can aim to be disciplined by giving up the distraction of the television in order to read or learn new skills. And from there, you can change your spending habits to start to save instead of always spending.

Once you develop self-discipline in all areas of your life, watch how quickly you get yourself out of a rut. That’s because self-discipline inevitably leads to achievement. And achievement energizes us like nothing else!

Are You Surrounded by Unmotivated People?

If you feel like your life is stagnating, consider looking at the people who are in your life. What are they doing? Do they have goals and aspirations? Are they working to learn new skills? Are they focused on their personal development? Or do they go to their jobs, come home, watch television, go to bed, and do the same thing the next day – without variation?

If you are in a rut, find people who will inspire you so achieve more and do more! My daughter is my inspiration in this regard. She is very focused on achievement, and she daily inspires me to do more with my life. I get so much pleasure out of seeing her every success, and she makes me want to truly achieve my own full potential in life.

So, to get out of a rut, be around people who are doing things with their lives! Surround yourself with people who are learning, reading and thinking. They will inspire you to do more with your life.

As another example, my husband, daughter and many of my friends are learning second languages right now. They truly inspire me! In fact, some of them are working on their third language. They are all people who are keen to do something interesting with life. It is really inspiring to be around people who love to learn!

So, if you are stagnating, find people who inspire you. Find friends or family members who aren’t just sitting slack-jawed in front of the television, but who are engaged with life. Look for folks who are trying to learn more and achieve more. They’ll inspire you to do the same, and soon your rut will be a thing of the past!

If you are stagnating in life, ask yourself the questions above. They may help you identify why you are stagnating, and how you can get out of your rut. Then, commit to making those necessary changes so that you truly achieve your fullest potential! (To read about how to reinvigorate your life, click here.)