Five Effective Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is defined as how you view yourself.  If you have high self-esteem, you like yourself.  You are satisfied with your qualities, and you don’t feel badly about your limitations.  In short, you are happy with the entire package that is YOU.

People with low self-esteem are dissatisfied with themselves.  They are highly self-critical.  Folks with low self-esteem mistakenly believe that they don’t have what it takes to be successful.  And they falsely believe that they are unworthy of being loved. 

If you struggle with your self-esteem, know that you are not alone.  Let’s face it.  We live in a world full of snitty, critical people who will more readily hand out an insult than a compliment.  Given how harsh the world can be, it’s no small wonder that so many people feel badly about themselves.

The good news is that there are things that you can do to boost your self-esteem.  Below are five steps to boost yourself self-esteem, so that you can learn to feel good about yourself and the beautiful package of qualities that make you uniquely YOU! 

Realize That Your Thoughts About Yourself Are Not Facts

I have a friend who has a high school age daughter who suffers from low self-esteem.  The other day, my friend asked her daughter, “Can you name me three qualities that you possess?”  Her daughter couldn’t name one.  I found that story to be heart-breaking.

Now realize that my friend’s daughter is an amazing young lady.  She is a top-notch pianist and a terrific tennis player.  Moreover, she is just stunning.  And this young lady doesn’t see any of those qualities in herself.

Admittedly, it’s hard to see yourself objectively.  For example, when I look in the mirror, like most women, I tend to focus on the wrong things.  I see the inevitable weight gain and wrinkles that come with middle age.  And I ignore the fact that, objectively, I’m in pretty good shape for my age! 

So, to boost your self-esteem, when those self-critical, negative thoughts crop up, you need to remember that your thoughts aren’t objective facts.  You have to realize that being highly self-critical is like looking through a dirty window.  It doesn’t allow you to see yourself clearly.

One way to stop being overly self-critical is to look at yourself in the same way that you would look at someone who you really love.  When we love someone, we naturally focus on that person’s positive qualities.  Sure, we may see a negative character flaw or a physical imperfection.  But those flaws and imperfections are outshined by that person’s wonderful qualities. 

We need to look at ourselves in the same way – with love.  So, to boost your self-esteem, stop harping on your imperfections.  Instead, put a laser focus on all your good qualities.  In that way, you’ll not only see yourself more clearly, but you’ll increase your self-esteem.

To Boost Your Self-Esteem, Spend Time with Positive People

Sadly, there are a lot of negative, critical people in this world.  I’m always shocked by the way some folks will insult, demean and ridicule other people.  And they’ll think nothing of it. 

So, to boost your self-esteem, it’s important to keep your distance from the negative folks in the world.  That’s hard to do, especially if those folks are in your family or workplace.  In that case, the best you can do is ignore and avoid them. 

Otherwise, what you want to do is surround yourself with positive people.  Positive people are the confident people in our world.  They feel good about themselves, and as a result, they aren’t threatened by others.  So, they encourage, compliment and spread good cheer with reckless abandon.  Those are the kind of folks that you want to be around!

And then you need to be an encourager yourself.  Over the years, I’ve worked to become an encourager.  I try to encourage others whenever I have an opportunity.  If I see someone do something well, I say it!  And if I think highly of someone, I don’t hesitate to offer a compliment.  And I’ve been blessed to have friends and colleagues who have done the same for me. 

By being positive and surrounding yourself with positive, encouraging people, you can keep your self-esteem high and feel good about the world and your place in it!

Recognize Your Strengths

If you ask someone what their strengths are, typically, they’ll hesitate before answering.  That’s because in our society, we frown upon bragging.  That isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  No one wants to be around someone who is continually tooting their own horn.

But, by the same token, while you may not feel comfortable bragging to other people about how awesome you are, you should know your strengths.  If I said to you, “Please write down on a piece of paper your top 10 qualities,” you should be able to do that without hesitation.  And if you can’t come up with 10 of your best qualities on the spot, then recognizing your strengths and qualities is something that you need to work on! 

Realize that we all have strengths.  There isn’t one person on this earth who doesn’t have good qualities.  So, the issue isn’t whether or not you have strengths and qualities.  The issue is whether you know what they are.  And if your self-esteem is low, you need to take some time to figure that out.

If you are too self-critical at this point to figure out your strengths, think about the compliments that you have received from other people.  Consider when you were last praised at work or at school.  What was it for?  Or perhaps recall the last time a family member, friend or even a stranger on the street complimented you.  Those are good clues as to where your strengths lie.

Another way to discover your strengths is to consider what you enjoy doing.  Do you like to play the piano?  Then you probably are pretty good at it, and that is a strength!  Do you enjoy learning languages?  Then an aptitude for speaking other languages is another strength.  Do people always come to you for advice regarding their problems?  Then you likely possess the qualities of wisdom and compassion. 

There are many approaches to discovering your strengths and qualities.  Go through the exercise of figuring out which qualities you possess, and watch your self-esteem increase!

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Compare yourself to others is a surefire way to annihilate your self-esteem.  Why?  Because you’ll never be the best at anything.  I don’t say that to be rude.  It’s just true.  The world is a vast place with over 7 billion people.  There always will be someone richer, smarter, more attractive or more talented than you. 

I will admit that comparing ourselves to others is tempting.  After all, parents start the comparison game with their children when they are quite small.  When have you ever heard a parent say to their children, “Each of you possesses a wonderful package of qualities that is uniquely yours.  How lovely!”  Probably never.

Instead, parents say, “Well, Becky is the smart one.”  Or, “Bob is the good looking one.”  And the rest of the siblings are left to believe that they are either stupid or bad looking by comparison.  (It’s no small wonder that those beautiful children grow up to become insecure adults.)

If you grew up in that kind of household, you have to make a commitment to stop playing your parents’ comparison game.  All parents make mistakes when parenting, and the comparison game is one of those mistakes.  Instead, to boost your self-esteem, you have to decide to love the combination of qualities that makes you the unique person that you are. 

So, appreciate the fact that you are unique!  Realize that no other person on this earth has your wonderful set of qualities.  Appreciate that.  Revel in it!  And know that no other person has precisely what you have to offer. 

If you struggle with your self-worth, consider trying the above approaches to boost your self-esteem.  Remember that you possess a wonderful set of qualities that are unique to you.  Celebrate that fact!  And learn to love the wonderful person that you are.