Finding Stillness: 5 Highly Effective Ways to Quiet Your Mind

Knowing how to quiet your mind is one of the best skills that you can develop.  After all, from time to time, we all can become upset or stressed out when faced with life’s occasional challenges.  And once we become mentally agitated, it’s hard to return to that quiet state of mind.  

Unfortunately, many people try to quiet their minds by using tobacco, alcohol and drugs.  And while those substances may provide temporary relief from our agitation, they also do significant damage to our bodies. 

So, it’s important to find ways to quiet your mind that don’t hurt your body.  The best approach to do so is to shift your perspective.  You need to change how you think about life and about yourself.  Because, unfortunately, much of our mental agitation is caused by wrong-headed thinking.

Below are ways to change your perspective so that you can think about life with greater clarity. I can assure you that if you adopt these approaches, you’ll become quite adept at quieting your mind.

Accept What You Cannot Change

Life doesn’t always work the way that we think it should.  And when it doesn’t, it’s easy to become agitated and frustrated.

Here are some “should” statements that lead us to be upset:  People should people be kind and gentle with each other and with the animals on our planet. Folks should keep their word and meet their obligations. We should be paid fairly for our hard work.  

The problem with life is that all those should statements don’t always come to pass. Life just doesn’t always go as it should! And I’ll concede that’s frustrating.  And upsetting. 

But neither you nor I have the power to change any of that.  For instance, I cannot change the behavior of unkind, aggressive people.  Nor can I force people to keep their word.  And I certainly can’t make employers pay their employees a fair wage.  Why?  Because I can’t control other people.  Neither can you.

The reality is that we live in a world with people who have varying degrees of morality and personal ethics.  And you will be continually frustrated and agitated if you become upset every time people don’t do what they should do. 

Instead, to have a quiet mind, you need to stop being upset by the shoulds of life.  You have to accept that sometimes people in this world are going to behave poorly.  And you have to accept that sometimes life is going to be unfair.  And from that place of accepting the world as it is, you can have a still, quiet mind.

Is that easy?  Well, no.  It’s not.  But realize that your agitation and frustration with the unfairness of the world does not make it a better place.  However, what will make the world a better place is if each one of us makes it our top priority to have a still and quiet mind.

Choose to Not Argue, Regardless of the Circumstances

The older I get, the more I realize that there is little point in arguing.  For instance, there are lots of people who like to argue about religion and politics.  I can’t think of a bigger waste of time.  I personally have no interest in getting anyone to adopt my views on religion, politics or any other ideological matter.  As long as people conduct themselves in a gentle, kind, and ethical manner, I’m completely unconcerned with who other folks vote for, or what religion they practice. 

Similarly, if people behave in an offensive manner, or if they say offensive things, I still have no desire to argue.  Why? Well, it’s not my job in life to correct the poor behavior of others.  I have enough to do.  So, if someone behaves in an offensive manner, I simply walk away and choose not to deal with them. 

I’m just not interested in arguing with people to get them to operate in a certain way. I’m only interested in holding myself to the highest standard.  And, of course, to the extent I’m able, I try to present an example of moral and ethical behavior which others can choose to follow.  Or not.

The good news is that once you make the choice to focus on yourself, and to not argue, you’ll develop a quiet mind.  Because your mind wont’ be concerned by what other people are doing and saying.  Your only concern will be your own behavior.  And that is something over which you do have complete control.

Don’t Get Offended

There are so many ways that we can become offended.  For example, if someone insults us, we can become offended.  Or, if someone treats us in a disrespectful or inconsiderate manner, we similarly can become offended. 

But notice the common theme in all of the above.  We become offended by the things that other people do or say.  The problem is that what other people do or say has nothing to do with us.

For example, let’s say that someone insults me and tells me that I’m a “terrible” person.  Should I be offended by that comment?  Not really.  That’s an opinion that may or may not be true.  That comment is purely a reflection of the attitude and maturity of the person making the comment. It has simply nothing to do with me.

So, realize that it makes no sense to become offended and have your peace disrupted by the behavior and comments of others.  Because what others do and say is all about them and their issues.  It just has nothing to do with you. Instead, to maintain a quiet mind, choose to ignore other people’s nonsense. Keep your peace, and focus solely on yourself.

Practice Detachment

When we practice detachment, we choose not to be attached to the outcome of any situation.  Instead, we just let life move along, realizing that some outcomes will be positive, and some will be negative.  And that allows us to have a quieter, more relaxed mind. 

The reality is that life isn’t always going to go according to plan.  Sometimes, it will go remarkably better than you could have imagined.  And sometimes, it will be far worse.  And if you want to have a quiet mind, you can’t be too agitated about anything in life. Instead, you just have to let life unfold.

For instance, my friends and I now are in the age group where our parents are elderly and in the final years of life.  It isn’t easy.  Because sometimes our elderly parents choose to do things that aren’t in their best interests.  That’s stressful!  And what we are all finding out is that to maintain a quiet, peaceful mind, you have to have a certain level of detachment from your parents. 

For example, in the final years before my mother passed away, I did my best to help her. And I tried to provide common sense advice when I could.  But she had her own way of doing things, and sometimes her approach wasn’t wise. 

So, at a certain point I chose to emotionally detach myself from the situation.  I was readily available to help her whenever needed, but I chose not to be emotionally attached to any choices that she made.  And by detaching myself, I was able to be helpful while still maintaining my peace of mind.

A detachment practice may sound harsh, but the reality is that there are so many things in life that you can’t control.  And being attached to the outcome of situations that you can’t control is pointless. 

It’s far better to approach situations with a detached, quiet mind. By being detached, you can be relaxed, kind and helpful, while still maintaining your peace of mind.   

Spend Part of Each Day in Silence

The world is full of racket.  Noise is everywhere.  Televisions.  YouTube.  Cars and trucks.  Not to mention the influx of Tweets, texts and emails that we get each day. 

And all that racket isn’t good for our brains.  Our brains need a break from the noise and distractions.  In fact, our brains need a certain amount of silence each day in order to become quiet. 

Unfortunately, what I’ve observed is that many people in today’s society are uncomfortable with silence.  For instance, I know some people who are uneasy if the television isn’t on.  Or they constantly look at their phones for communication from someone – anyone! 

That’s because when they’re left in silence, they realize that their minds are agitated.  So, they use a multitude of distractions to avoid the unpleasant thoughts whirring through their brains. 

But realize that the only way to get to achieve true peace of mind is to stop avoiding your uncomfortable thoughts and deal with them.  And that requires silence.  You need silence to think, reflect and process your thoughts.  If you do so, you’ll then be in a place to create a truly peaceful mind.

If you are seeking to have a quiet mind, consider following the approaches above.  By changing how you think, you can achieve the still, quiet mind that you seek. (To read about how to quiet an anxious mind, click here.)