How to Avoid 5 of Life’s Most Common Mistakes

There’s a funny little comment that my husband makes from time to time.  He’ll say, “So-and-so can’t get out of their own way.”  What he means to say is this: That person has everything that he or she needs to succeed in life.  There’s nothing wrong with that person’s circumstances.  But he or she is failing at life because they keep making bad choices.  In short, that person can’t get out of their own way.

We all sometimes get in our own way, don’t we?  In many ways, we each are our own worst enemy.  But the good news is that you can stop making some of life’s most common mistakes.  You can get rid of the all-too-common negative attitudes and bad habits that many folks have.  And in doing so, you can get out of your own way!

Below are five typical mistakes that people make in life.  These are mistakes that truly keep us from thriving and living our best lives.  Learn how you can avoid them and have the best life possible! 

Fear of Failure

Fearing failure is a common mistake that many people make in life.  When people fear failure, what they really fear is having other people see them fail.  They want everyone to think that they’re perfect. 

The problem is that if you fear failure, you’ll end up living a mediocre life because you won’t take chances.  And you also won’t fix what is broken in your life, for fear that the world might find out that your life is imperfect.

And that’s fine.  You can go through life playing it safe.  For example, if you never apply to graduate school, then no one will ever reject you.  If you never ask your boss for a promotion, then he or she can’t refuse your request. 

You can stay in a bad job and never run the risk of failing at a new position.  And you can languish in a bad marriage so that no one has to know that your marriage is a failure.

If you are obsessed with what other people think, then yes, I’ll agree that you should play it safe.  You should fear failure because failure is very public.  BUT, realize that your life will end up being far less than it should be.  You won’t have the achievements, education, career and relationships that you would enjoy if you were willing to take some risks.

So, my advice is this: Don’t make the mistake of fearing failure.  Recognize that a certain number of failures are inevitable on the road to creating an Amazing Life.  Be willing to have some failures.  And be willing to fail publicly.  Because the payback will be successes that will knock your socks off.

Living in the Past or Future

A common mistake that we all make in life, from time to time, is to not live in the present moment.  If you wonder if you are failing to live in the present moment, ask yourself these questions: “How often during the day do I feel frustrated about incidents from my past?  Do I ever spend my time worrying about what may happen in the future?” 

Realize that any time spent fretting about the past is time wasted.  Your past is over and done with.  Admittedly, we all have moments from our past that we wish had never happened.  For instance, there are moments from my past that to this day I find to be profoundly upsetting.  But dwelling on those moments is pointless.  They’re over.  I can’t change them. 

Similarly, there’s no point in worrying about the future.  Of course, you can prepare for the future. You can decide today that no matter what happens in the future, you always will choose to operate at the highest, most ethical level. 

But while you can control your own actions in the future, unfortunately, the actions of others, the economy or natural disasters are matters that are outside of your control.  And there’s simply no point in worrying about those things that you can’t control. 

The bigger issue is that when we dwell on the past, or when we worry about the future, we aren’t experiencing the present moment.  We aren’t appreciating all the good that is happening in our lives right now.

The next time that you are feeling frustrated about your past, or you are worrying about your future, I suggest that you pause and find a way to focus on the present.  Go for a walk.  Look out your window at nature.  Listen to a piece of beautiful music.  Read an inspiring passage from a book. 

For example, I work from my home office, and outside my office window is an enormous evergreen.  Below that evergreen is a small pond.  The tree is always full of birds (I assume it must have some berries that the birds like to eat).  When I get tense or frustrated, my practice is to stop my negative thinking by pausing and looking out my office window.  I try to see which birds are in the tree, and which ones are getting water from the pond. 

In doing so, I’m able to pull myself back into the present moment.  And obviously, enjoying the trees, birds and other creatures outside my window is a far better way to spend my time, than being upset by my past or worried about my future!

So, don’t make the very common mistake of dwelling on your past or worrying excessively about your future.  Focus on the present moment.  Pay attention to what is good in your life at this moment and enjoy the here and now!

Not Prioritizing Your Physical Health

You just have to walk down the street, and you’ll see that one of the most common mistakes that people make in our society is that they don’t take care of their physical health.  Smoking, drinking alcohol, and carrying too much weight are commonplace issues today.

The problem is that when you don’t take care of your body, that neglect ultimately will hurt you, in terms of future illnesses and mobility issues.  Unfortunately, when it comes to our bodies, all our misdeeds catch up to us eventually.

So, taking care of your body is critical. And realize that how we care for our bodies changes as we age.  For instance, every year I make adjustments to my diet and exercise regime.  Over the past decade, I’ve chosen to give up drinking alcohol, and I’ve also given up eating meat.  And while I used to run for exercise in my twenties, these days, I ride a stationary bike and do yoga, both of which are easier on my joints.  The key is to pay attention to what your body needs to stay healthy at your particular age.

So, don’t make the mistake of failing to take care of your body.  Make your physical health a priority!  I promise that your efforts will pay off.  If you abstain from alcohol, cigarettes and drugs, you’ll avoid all kinds of illnesses later in life.  And if you choose to exercise and eat a healthy, plant-based diet, you’ll feel and look great!

Ignoring Personal Growth

Many people make the mistake of “settling into life.”  They view life as a comfy chair, and they’re just going to sit there.  They aren’t going to move or grow. 

Admittedly, you can do that.  You can spend your days following your usual routine.  And your free time can be spent surfing the Internet and zoning out in front of the television.   But if you live your life in such a manner, you aren’t living the life that was intended for you. 

Realize that each of us was born with an amazing potential.  And our purpose on this earth is to fulfill that potential.  But the only way we can do that is to focus on our personal growth.

So, each year, you should be asking yourself the following questions:  “Am I becoming a kinder, gentler, more compassionate human being?   Have I developed any new skills recently?  Am I becoming more knowledgeable about the world, either through reading or experience?” 

Don’t make the mistake of getting comfy in life.  Keep challenging yourself to become better and better with each passing year.  For example, in my own life, I’m very focused on my personal growth.  Every day, I give thought to how I can become a better, more decent human being.  Moreover, I’m always trying to adopt new skills or develop the ones I currently have.  As a result, I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago.  I’m not even the same person I was last year.  I am constantly evolving and (hopefully!) improving.

So, don’t make the common mistake of stagnating in life.  You’ve been given only one life.  Make the most of it!  Focus on your personal growth, and reach your full potential. 

There is a great quote from Erma Bombeck which we should all follow when it comes to personal growth:

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left but could say I’ve used everything you gave me.

Comparing Yourself to Others

Unfortunately, we live in a world in which people are hyper-competitive.  As a result, many folks make the mistake of comparing their achievements and possessions with those of others. 

Here’s a little secret that I’ll share with you about life:  Your achievements and your stuff aren’t what make you interesting or attractive.  Rather, it’s the type of person you are and your unique qualities that make you interesting and attractive.

For example, I recently met a lady who completely impressed me.  Now, she is highly educated.  But her education isn’t what impressed me.  Rather, it was her graciousness that blew me away.  She exuded a warmth and sensitivity that is rare in today’s society.

Who you are is what makes you exceptional.  What you’ve accomplished, or what you own, are only minimally interesting.  So, comparing your stuff with someone else’s stuff, or comparing your achievements with someone else’s achievements, is a waste of time.

Rather, your focus should be on becoming the most amazing version of YOU possible.  If you really want to be impressive, capitalize on those things that are unique about you. 

If you do that, life starts to become really fun!  It’s enjoyable to figure out what makes you different from everyone else.  And then to build on that.

For instance, you may be great at learning languages.  Run with that skill!  Take language classes or do self-study.  Immerse yourself in another language and its culture.  Find native speakers of that language and develop friendships.  Use your gift – a talent for learning languages – to become an incredibly interesting person.

As another example, I have a friend who lives in an elegant home, and she has an Ivy league education.  And all of that’s nice, but none of that is what makes her interesting.  Rather, what makes her interesting is her musical talent.  She’s a violinist, and she has a gift for musical interpretation.  My friend has worked at developing her musical gift for decades, and she uses it for the benefit of others by performing in local churches and in the local symphony. 

So, don’t make the mistake of comparing your life, achievements or possessions with those of other people.  Instead, have fun developing your own unique talents and gifts.  Remember that what makes you different is truly what will make you impressive and interesting.

If you are seeking to improve your life, start by avoiding the 5 most common life mistakes discussed above.  If you avoid these mistakes, you’ll be far ahead of most people, and you’ll be so much happier! (To read about great habits that you can start today, click here.)