How Kindness Can Make You Happier and Healthier

Sometimes in life, we forget how important kindness is.  We think that other things, like money or professional success, are going to transform our lives for the better.  But the truth is that kindness is your key to a happy life.  In fact, a kindness practice will make you both happier and healthier.   

It may seem counterintuitive that being nice to others will make your life better.  But I can assure you that kindness is the solution to many of our problems in life. 

Are you depressed?  Shift your focus away from yourself, and focus your attention on ways that you can be kind to others. 

Are your relationships a mess?  Work on being consistently kind to other people. 

Do you feel sluggish and worn out?  Reinvigorate your life with acts of kindness. 

I could go on, but you get my point.  Kindness is the solution to so many life issues.

And not surprisingly, the converse is true.  If your life isn’t working, ask yourself these simple questions: “Am I consistently kind to others?  Do I go out of my way to be helpful and generous toward others?”  Because if you aren’t consistently kind, helpful and generous, your life isn’t going to run smoothly. 

Below are ways that you can dramatically improve your life with a kindness practice.  Keep reading to learn about the many ways that kindness can make you happier and healthier!

Practice Kindness to Improve Your Emotional Well-Being

Here’s the funny thing about kindness.  Being kind to others feels good!  When you are kind to another living being, whether it is a person or an animal, you feel great.  Why is that? 

Well, in part, it’s physiological.  When we do good deeds, our bodies release endorphins.  Endorphins are hormones that increase our feelings of well-being.  So, just like people can have a “runner’s high” after exercising, when we are kind, we have a “helper’s high.” In short, being kind makes us feel happier.

Moreover, a kindness practice helps us to feel good about ourselves and our place in the world.  I know for myself that the more kind, gentle interactions I have during my day, the better I feel.  And, not surprisingly, the more conflicts I have, the worse I feel.

In fact, if you are feeling stressed out or down, try this experiment.  Send a positive text message or email to someone.  Say something complimentary or encouraging.  And then sit back and see how you feel.  

I just did exactly that.  I have a friend who is traveling in France at the moment.  So, I sent him a short note of well wishes for his trip.  And after sending that text message, what I noticed was this: My mood level went up a notch.  A simple, 1-minute act of kindness had that remarkable effect.  Can you imagine how good you’d feel if you performed acts of kindness all day long?

So, use kindness to improve your emotional state.  You’ll find that a kindness practice will increase your happiness like nothing else.

Improve Your Relationships Through Consistent Kindness

Here’s my gift to you.  I’m going to give you the secret to positive, successful relationships.  With this secret, you’ll never have to buy another relationship book again. 

The secret to great relationships is this: Be kind.  Be kind all the time.  That means be kind, even when you don’t feel like it.  It means be kind even when you are in a bad mood, or you’ve had a rough day. 

What I can tell you is this: If you and another person (e.g. your spouse, parent, child or friend) are consistently kind to one another, you will have an amazing relationship.

In fact, I can tell you from personal experience that relationships fail or succeed based on kindness.  If you are unkind to your spouse, she (or he) will divorce you.  Similarly, if you are unkind to your family members, they’ll stop dealing with you.  If you operate unkindly at work, you’ll get fired.  Being mean, difficult or aggressive inevitably leads to failed relationships.

The good news is that positive, happy relationships aren’t hard to achieve.  It simply takes two people who are willing to consistently be nice to each other.  It’s that simple.

So, if you have a relationship that’s failing, ask yourself this: Are we both being consistently kind to one another?  Are we both speaking to each other solely with encouraging words?  Do we express appreciation toward each other regularly?  Are we serving each other on a daily basis?  If your relationship is failing, know that kindness is your solution.

Be Kind and Improve Your Physical Health

Here’s a fun fact about kindness: Being kind can make you healthier!  Interestingly, acts of kindness have been shown to reduce blood pressure.  Acts of kindness also have been shown to decrease our bodies’ production of cortisol.  Cortisol is the hormone that makes us hold onto abdominal fat which is terrible for our health. 

Even without medical professionals telling us that kindness is good for us, we all intuitively know that when we’re kind, we just feel better.  When we’re kind to others, we feel more relaxed.  We even walk with a spring in our step because we’re happy with ourselves and our place in the world.

The fact is that mean behavior doesn’t just hurt other people.  It hurts the person who is being mean!  Mean people are stressed out and irritable.  And what I’ve observed over the years is that mean people tend to have all kinds of poor health habits.  Some smoke or drink alcohol to manage their feelings, because they’re unhappy with themselves.  Others abuse their bodies with food. 

By contrast, kind people have an easier time maintaining their health.  That’s because when you’re kind, you don’t need to resort to substances to be at ease with yourself.  Instead, you’re naturally happy with yourself and your place in the world.  After all, when you’re kind to everyone, you’re a positive force in the world. And that feels terrific!

So, if you’re seeking to improve your health, consider a kindness practice.  Focus on how you can be good to the people and creatures within your sphere of influence.  See how regular acts of kindness can lower your blood pressure, reduce your stress, and how they ultimately can contribute to your having an even longer lifespan!

Use Kindness as A Launchpad for Personal Growth

If you are seeking to make some headway in your personal growth, consider adopting a kindness practice.  A kindness practice helps us grow in maturity because it takes self-control to be consistently kind. 

The reality is that we don’t always feel like being kind.  If we’re tired, we may be grouchy, and we may not feel like being nice.  Or, if we’ve had a bad day, we may be inclined to take it out on other people. 

But when we commit to a kindness practice, we have to exercise our self-control.  Self-control allows us to be kind, no matter how we are feeling. 

I’ll admit that achieving that level of self-control and emotional maturity isn’t easy.  But nevertheless, it should be every person’s goal.  We all should be striving to have perfect self-control, so that no matter how we are feeling, we conduct ourselves with kindness and consideration at all times. 

The problem is that if you lack self-control, then you are ruled by your emotions.  Like a toddler.  That’s why people who lack self-control fly off the handle.  They say and do whatever flies into their heads. 

But once you make a commitment to be consistently kind, your toddler days have to come to an end.  You have to stop being dominated by your emotions.  Instead, you need to develop the self-control and emotional maturity to be able to choose how you respond to any given situation.

So, consider using a kindness practice as a tool to become a more mature human being.  A kindness practice is a wonderful way to develop both your self-control and emotional maturity.

Enjoy the Positive Ripple Effect of Kindness

I wish I could promise you that every one of your acts of kindness will inspire others to be kind, as well.  But unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.  There are some people in this world who choose to be difficult and unkind, even when others are kind to them.

But – and this is a big but – don’t let the bad apples of this world discourage you from being kind.  Because some of your kind acts will pay off.  When you are a Kindness Role Model, realize that some people will be paying attention!  Those folks will be inspired by you, and they will want to pay your kindness forward.

The reality is that you never will know how many people you inspire with your acts of kindness.  For instance, I had teachers in elementary school who were the epitome of kindness.  I can honestly say that my first through sixth grade elementary school teachers were my kindness “trainers” in life. 

To this day, I remember one particular incident in sixth grade which had an enormous impact on me.  One day, some girls in the class wrote an unkind note about another girl.  The teacher got a hold of the note, and I had never seen someone so angry.  The teacher was furious to see these girls speaking unkindly about another student.  Ultimately, the “note writers” were given a very firm talking to, their parents were called, and it was a very big deal.

The message my sixth grade teacher sent to all of us was loud and clear: Meanness was unacceptable.  We were expected to be kind at all times. 

My teacher probably didn’t realize how closely I and the rest of the class were watching her that day.  But she left an indelible impression upon me, and I suspect upon many of the other children, as well.  The ripple effect of her morality lesson continues with me today. 

So, don’t be discouraged when you don’t see your kindness producing immediate results.  Realize that when you are kind, your kindness is impacting the world in ways that you can’t possibly imagine.  People always are watching you.  So be kind, and set an example that others can follow to make the world a far better place.

I encourage you to adopt a kindness practice!  Know that kindness is life changing in so many ways.  By simply being kind to others, you’ll feel happier.  You’ll strengthen your relationships.  Your physical health will improve.  You’ll foster your personal growth.  And you certainly will positively affect the world.  (To read about how developing your self-control can transform your life, click here.)