Humility Is the True Key to Success

We often think of highly successful people as folks with big egos. They are people with confidence in spades who attack life and take no prisoners, as they say. But, in fact, the opposite is true. It actually takes humility to achieve real success.

Consider the following ways in which an attitude of humility will spur you on to success in ways that a big ego cannot:

Humble People Aren’t Afraid of Failure

Real success doesn’t come without some failures along the way. Think about Abraham Lincoln. He was defeated for public office eight times before he became president. If Lincoln had had a big ego, he would have stopped trying to run for office after the first defeat. That is because people with inflated egos cannot tolerate failure. Their egos are too fragile, and they crumple at the first sign of resistance.

Humble people don’t crumple. That is because when you are humble, you don’t always expect to be amazing. You know that you are imperfect, and as a result, you will have some failures. And you are OK with that. You’ll just keep trying anyway.

Similarly, consider Thomas Edison. Edison is said to have had 1,000 unsuccessful attempts before creating the light bulb. That took persistence. And that required him to not view those attempts as “failures” but rather as “tries.” In fact, he is quoted as saying, “I never view mistakes as failures. They are simply opportunities to find out what doesn’t work.”

Without humility, you won’t keep trying. A humble attitude has helped me immensely in my own life. I have never been afraid to try something new for fear of failure. When I applied to law school, I hoped I would get in, but I didn’t necessarily expect it. And then, lo and behold, I was accepted. Over the years, I’ve applied for jobs for which I didn’t think that I was qualified. And yet to my surprise, on occasion, I’ve been given those jobs.

My attitude of humility has given me the ability to try new things and stretch myself. That is because the potential for failure doesn’t paralyze me. I simply am pleasantly surprised when things work out!

Humble People Ask for Advice

You cannot become successful in life without the guidance of others. I’ve received guidance from a variety of people over the years which has changed the trajectory of my life for the better.

However, many people are unwilling to seek out advice, even if they obviously are struggling. They think that if they get help, somehow everyone will know that they are struggling. Well, guess what? They are struggling, and even if they won’t admit it, the whole world can see it.

Unfortunately, their egos get in the way of them saying, “You know what. I need help figuring this situation out.” So, they languish in their own problems.

My daughter is great at asking for advice. She doesn’t always take it, but she asks for it regularly. She is a very ambitious kid and wants to do well in life. So, she isn’t concerned about appearing to be brilliant or amazing. She solely is interested in achieving. And if she can get what she wants by getting advice from me, my husband or one of her teachers, she doesn’t hesitate to ask.

But she also is a very humble person. She freely will tell you that she isn’t the smartest person in the room. Instead, she will tell you that she is the hardest worker. And her humility combined with a strong work ethic is a recipe for success.

Humble People Don’t Need Constant Accolades

Success can be a lonely journey. There will be times when you seem to be spinning your wheels. There will be setbacks. And if you need constant affirmation along your journey, you won’t make it to your goals.

People with big egos thrive on positive feedback. And if they don’t get that feedback continuously, they give up on their goal and move to another one. It takes humility to say, “I am not always going to be applauded for what I am trying to do. But that’s OK! I’ll keep trying.”

Any writer or artist faces this challenge. For example, if you are writing a book or working on a painting, your finished product will not happen overnight. For example, it took Lin Manuel Miranda seven years to write “Hamilton.” Wow. Those were seven years during which he was not receiving the incredible accolades that he receives now. He was not a household name at that time. He simply had to write, persevere, and believe in himself, even when there was no tangible evidence that his efforts would be successful.

If Miranda had a huge ego, he would have stopped working on Hamilton after Week One. He would have thrown in the towel because his ego would have needed reassurance to continue.

Humble people don’t need reassurance to carry on with a task. They aren’t doing their art or work for recognition. They don’t have egos that need to be fed. Instead, they are doing it for the joy of the work itself.

Consider how you can develop an attitude of humility in order to be more successful in life. Our egos are what keep us from having the right mindset to achieve our goals. Let go of your ego and the need to be perfect. Instead, embrace being humble. Let go of your fear of making mistakes, and see how much you can achieve! (To read more about making your goals a reality, click here.)