How to Have Peaceful Relationships

We all want to have peaceful relationships with other people. When our relationships with others are peaceful, we feel more relaxed. We even feel like the world, generally, is a kinder, gentler place. Yet, in spite of our desire for peaceful relationships, our relationships often are fraught with conflict. Why?

Well, first of all, we may be part of the problem. It is hard to have peaceful relationships if we demand to always have things our way. Moreover, we’ll have unnecessary conflict if we can’t tolerate other folks having different opinions from us.

But other people can be the problem too. Just like us, many people aren’t happy unless things go their way. And lots of people can’t handle it when other people don’t see the world their way.

Worse yet, there are some folks who are just conflict-oriented. We all know people like that! They are the type of folks who enjoy arguing. They get pleasure from provoking conflict and having drama in their lives.

Given all these obstacles, you might ask, “How can I possibly have peaceful relationships with other people?” Well, below are some ways to ensure that your relationships are peaceful. Consider using these approaches so that you can live in harmony with others and have peace in your life.

To Have Peaceful Relationships, Pick Your Battles

If you want to have good relationships, you can’t insist on getting your way all the time. If you pitch a fit every time you don’t get your way, then trust me, you are acting like a jerk. Normal people let others have their way from time to time. And they do so without kicking up a big fuss.

The key is to pick your battles. For example, ideally, I like to have an orderly home. I don’t like unmade beds, dishes in the sink and clutter. That kind of mess drives me up a wall.

However, on occasion, people in my life can be messy. So, when I am confronted with a mess, I have to make a choice. Do I get irritated, or do I choose peace? I’ll admit that sometimes I get irritated! But most of the time I choose peace. So, I may chose to either turn a blind eye to the mess in front of me, or I just clean it up myself!

The key is to remember that most irritating situations are temporary. So, try to tolerate those things in life that are merely distasteful to you. Minor issues, like unmade beds and dirty dishes, will go away at some point. They aren’t worth creating stress in your relationships. Instead, save your battles for only the big, meaningful issues.

Don’t Take Things Personally

The behavior of other people has nothing to do with you. Let me repeat that. The behavior of other people has absolutely nothing to do with you. So, don’t take what other people say and do personally.

For instance, if someone is rude to you, doesn’t include you, or is unkind to you, their actions don’t have anything to do with you. The only conclusion you can reach from that kind of behavior is that the other person is rude, ungracious or unkind. Nothing more.

Now, I will admit that being on the receiving end of bad behavior is unpleasant. And you may wonder, “What did I do to inspire that person to be mean to me?” The short answer is, you did nothing.

We are all responsible for our own words and actions. And we are all called to be kind, decent and caring at all times, and in all circumstances. If we fail to do that, it is our fault, and no one else’s.

So, if someone is rude to you, be peaceful toward them anyway. Their behavior has nothing to do with you. And when you are peaceful, you’ll be the one who can look in the mirror and say, “I am a kind and decent person.” They, on the other hand, will have trouble looking at their own reflection.

Choose Who You Spend Time with Wisely

Unfortunately, not all relationships can be peaceful. Relationships are a two-way street, and some people simply are unpeaceful by nature. They are the type of people who continually create unnecessary conflict in their relationships. Don’t waste your time and energy trying to have peaceful relationships with those kinds of people. It is futile.

Let me put it this way: Let’s say that I have ten people in my life who I interact with on a regular basis. If nine of those people are pleasant, and one is a massive problem, why would I give any attention to the one person who constantly creates problems? Why not give my energy to the other nine, who are easy to get along with? Don’t the nice folks deserve my undivided time and attention? Of course, they do.

So, a large part of having peaceful relationships is picking the right people with whom to spend your time. Realize that once we become adults, we can choose with whom we spend our time. So, if you want to have peaceful relationships, the key is to choose to spend your time only with high quality, pleasant people.

This week, consider how you can start having more peaceful relationships with other people. Being at peace with others makes our lives so much more pleasant. And the more we are at peace with others, the happier we are. (To read more about creating a peaceful life, click here.)