How to Build Character During Hard Times

One of the greatest truisms of life is this: We don’t grow in character during the good times. When life is easy, when there is enough money to pay the bills, and when our relationships are peaceful, our character isn’t challenged. During such times, we don’t have to be courageous, nor do we have to be patient. It is only through hard times that we build our character.

Significantly, we each have a choice as to whether to develop our character during hard times. Some folks choose to become bitter and difficult due to hard times. Others choose to become kinder and more compassionate.

So, realize that the difficult experiences that we endure do not dictate who we become. Rather, it is our response to those experiences that makes us who we are. Those hard times either lead us to become exceptional people, or they lead us to become unpleasant.

Below are some ways to respond to life’s difficulties that will help you develop your character. Consider using these approaches whenever you face challenges in your life.

When Life Is Hard, Choose to Be Helpful

It may seem counterintuitive that when you are struggling and need help, that is the very time that you should be helping others. But realize that even when life is hard, you aren’t powerless. You always have the ability to bless others. So, instead of focusing on your problems, focus on how you can serve other people.

For example, a number of years ago, my husband was hospitalized. His medical condition was very serious, and at times, the situation felt overwhelming to me. But instead of allowing myself to fall apart, I chose to to be helpful.

Every day when I went to the hospital, I chose to make myself useful. I helped the nurses with his care and tidied up his room. And I did my best to always offer encouraging words to keep my husband’s spirits up.

So often in life, when we feel overwhelmed, we just want to curl up in the fetal position and not face our problems. But that doesn’t help anyone. Instead, we need to develop our courage by toughening up, rising to the occasion and helping others in any way that we can.

Developing Your Character by Being Kind

Often, when we are under pressure, we aren’t at our best. We may be impatient or irritable. Or we may lash out at others, instead of biting our tongues. That type of behavior helps no one. When we are rude or mean, we simply hurt others. And then others (understandably) don’t like us very much.

So, when facing a difficult situation, realize that your character is being tested. Will you take your troubles out on other people? Or, will you be patient and kind, no matter how you are feeling? Remember that mature people hold themselves to the highest standard of behavior, even when life is hard.

Tough times show our true character. So, if you want to be someone of great character, you need to be kind and treat others well, no matter how you may be feeling.

When Under Pressure, Continue to Be Responsible

People of good character don’t let their responsibilities slide, even when they are under high stress. Admittedly, when we are feeling overwhelmed, it is easy to let the house become a mess, stop paying the bills, and unnecessarily miss days of work. But none of that will make your life any better. It only will make matters worse. Instead, we need to resolve to act responsibly, even when life is hard.

For example, in times of stress, it is easy to be forgetful. Making “To Do” Lists is key, as is doing tasks that you’d rather avoid. For instance, paying bills is stressful. But missed payments will create a whole world of problems that you won’t need in the future.

Similarly, it may be tempting to take a leave of absence from work. But forgoing income will hurt your finances. Better to meet your work responsibilities, keep your job and avoid going into debt. Moreover, meeting your job responsibilities, even when you have personal issues, will remind your employer of what a great employee you are.

Ultimately, the goal is to come out of hard experiences as well as possible, with your life still intact, having grown in maturity and self-discipline. That means operating responsibly, even when going through stressful situations.

To Build Character, Fill Your Mind with Positive, Wholesome Thoughts

There is a lot of violent, unwholesome garbage on the Internet, on television and in our movies. It is also in books, and on social media. When life is hard, it is critical that you avoid that kind of nonsense, and instead, seek out good, positive ideas.

Think of hard times as Character Training! And the way to build up your character is to fill your brain with high quality information. So, read authors who value kindness and selflessness. Watch television shows and movies with inspirational characters who make the world a better place. (For a wonderful documentary series about kindness, try The Kindness Diaries.) Block people on your social media feed who spew negative, angry nonsense.

In addition, when you are under stress, be sure to surround yourself with people who are “cup half full” types. For example, when my husband was in the hospital, I kept in close contact with friends from my church. During that period, I received nothing but encouragement from them. Their positivity and kind words helped me to maintain a positive attitude during a very hard time.

So, know that when life is hard, it is critical to fill your mind with positive thoughts. Be vigilant about what you read and listen to. And don’t worry about avoiding negative people. You have every right to avoid or simply ignore people who are negative in order to maintain a positive, resilient attitude. (To read about having a positive outlook even when life is hard, click here.)

If you are going through a stressful time, consider applying some of the above ideas. Realize that “this too shall pass,” as all hard times do. Know that your stress is temporary, so try to use the experience as an opportunity to grow as a person. Use it as an opportunity to develop your maturity and character. You may not see the benefits now, but I promise that you will see them in the future.