Having the Courage to Be Imperfect

We live in a world in which many people feel ashamed of who they are. They are embarrassed by the less than perfect parts of themselves and their lives. They lack the courage to be imperfect, so they work to hide the more complicated parts of themselves from the world.

The problem is that hiding who your really are is exhausting. It is draining to pretend to be someone who you are not.

Of course, I understand why people do so. The world is a very judgmental place. And it takes a lot of self-confidence to not care what other people think of you. But it is only when we stop worrying about what others think of us, and when we show our true and imperfect selves, that we can be relaxed and happy.

Below are ways to develop the courage to be imperfect in a world that seems to demand perfection. Be brave and adopt these approaches. Learn how to show your true self, and see how much happier you can be.

**Realize That No One Is Perfect**

Not one of us is perfect. We all have things that we wish we could improve about ourselves. And we all have parts of our past that we wish were different. So, don’t think that you are alone in being imperfect.

In fact, the older I become, the more I realize that no one has the perfect life. We all make mistakes. And we all have parts of our lives that either are or were messy. That is just the nature of the human experience.

For example, I once knew a pastor who was a beautiful and talented woman. She gave intelligent sermons and had an incredible singing voice. To me, she seemed to have the perfect life. Then one night, she disclosed to me that many years earlier, she’d had an ex-husband who had cruelly abused her. She’d had to flee the marriage, as a result. It was then that I realized that appearances can be deceiving. You never can know about the life experience of another person simply by looking at them.

So, don’t ever feel ashamed or embarrassed about yourself or your life. Instead, realize that everybody has aspects of their lives that they wish were different. In fact, the most seemingly perfect people can have problems that you could never imagine.

Have the Courage to Be Imperfect, and Stop Hiding the Imperfect Parts of Yourself and Your Life

To be truly happy, you have to be honest about who you are and about the messier parts of your life. Pretending to be perfect, and trying to hide the imperfections of your life is a recipe for misery.

For instance, when I was a teenager, my parents had a messy divorce. Then I, in turn, divorced in my mid-forties. None of that is anything to brag about.

Now, I could try to hide these parts of my life. But that wouldn’t help me. These experiences have shaped who I am. Trying to hide these parts of my life due to embarrassment would make no sense. For better or worse, they are part of my life experience. And other people can’t truly know me, if they don’t know the good and bad of my life experience.

Realize that there is no reason to ever be ashamed of any aspect of your life. The imperfections of your life serve a very important purpose. They enable you to be a better person. Your mistakes are what can keep you from being judgmental toward others. And your bad experiences can enable you to feel compassion for others who are suffering.

So, don’t deny your imperfections. Instead, be honest about them. Stop trying to be perfect in an effort to appear to be better than others. Instead, be honest about your imperfect self, and your imperfect life. And perhaps, you’ll end up being a little bit kinder and less judgmental as a result.

Accept Your Imperfections

Once you accept being imperfect, you can start to relax. Trying to be someone you are not is exhausting. For instance, some folks are ashamed of their financial situation. So, they try to appear to be rich by buying clothes, cars, and houses that they cannot afford. And then they end up in a lot of debt and have unnecessary financial stress.

The better approach is to accept your financial situation. It is what it is. Be proud of what you have today, and don’t worry about the Joneses.

Similarly, trying to appear to be young when you are older likewise can lead to poor results. How often do we see women who otherwise would be quite beautiful, but they chose to have excessive amounts of plastic surgery?

Now I will be the first to admit that growing older is hard. My face and body do not look the same as they did in my twenties. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think, “My neck! Why is my neck wrinkly? When did that happen??” But I’ve come to accept my body and face for what they are. I don’t feel the need to look 25 when I am no longer that age!

So, accept your life as it is. Get comfortable with the fact that your life isn’t perfect. You may not have had the best upbringing. And you may not be as far along professionally as you would like to be. You may have some character flaws. Perhaps you are too judgmental. Or maybe you can sometimes be irritable. Maybe you have weight to lose, or debts to pay. There are lots of ways in which our lives can be less than perfect. And that is OK.

Instead, live your life authentically. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Instead, be proud of the unique person that God has made you to be. Don’t be embarrassed by your past or the mistakes you’ve made. Don’t be ashamed that you are not as far along as you would like to be professionally, financially or in terms of emotional maturity.

Realize that each of us is a work-in-progress until the day that we die. Instead, let people know the real you. By allowing others to see us for who we really are, warts and all, we then can relax and truly enjoy life. (To read about finding the courage to live an authentic life, click here.)