5 Practical Ways to Develop Your Humility

In our society, we tend to be “confidence” obsessed.  We falsely believe that confidence is the only thing that we need to be successful.  Now, I’ll concede that it’s important to be appropriately confident in one’s abilities.  But having confidence simply isn’t enough if you want to be successful at life.  Rather, it’s equally important to be humble. So, developing your humility is critical if you wish to be a successful human being.

Unfortunately, many people mistakenly think that humility is the same thing as insecurity.  It’s not.  When we’re insecure, we think that we aren’t good enough.  We doubt our own abilities.  Humility is quite different.

When you’re humble, you recognize your qualities.  But you also recognize your flaws.  And because you know that you’re a mixed bag of qualities and flaws, you don’t wander through the life thinking that you’re better than others.  And you don’t think that you are entitled to a better life or better treatment than anyone else.

Now, I’ll concede that you can lack humility and still be successful in certain spheres of life.  Obviously, there are many public figures who are arrogant and yet are professionally successful.  But they aren’t personally successful. 

To achieve both personal and professional success, you have to be both confident and humble.  Why?  Well, because humility makes you palatable to other people.  If you are just confident and have no humility, then you’re arrogant.  And no one wants to be around arrogant people.

Below are ways to develop your humility.  Adopt these approaches and see how you can become a humbler, and ultimately a far more successful human being.

Admit Your Mistakes and Apologize

I know people who can’t apologize.  The words “I’m sorry.  I was wrong,” are not words that will ever pass their lips.  And because they lack the humility to admit when they’ve made a mistake, their personal and professional relationships are a disaster.

It’s important to be humble enough to admit when you’ve made a mistake. And it’s also important to be humble enough to apologize when you’ve hurt someone else. Realize that apologies are the oil that make our relationships run smoother. When we apologize, we acknowledge that other people are important and that their feelings matter. If we can’t apologize, then we effectively are saying to others, “Your feelings are so unimportant to me, that I can’t be bothered to say two simple words: I’m sorry.”

To avoid that mistake and to keep my relationships running smoothly, I’ve chosen to make apologizing my habit.  I’m humble enough to realize that I’m not a perfect person, so I’m happy to apologize when I’ve erred. And because I’m a fairly confident person, admitting that I’ve made a mistake doesn’t undermine my self-esteem. 

If you are seeking to develop your own humility, then learn to readily admit your mistakes. And apologize when needed.  Realize that making the occasional mistake simply means that you’re human.  Just like everyone else. 

The good news is that no one will think less of you if you apologize and admit your mistakes.  To the contrary.  By admitting your mistakes, you simply will show the world that you possess both confidence and humility – the perfect personality combination!

Focus on Serving Others

There’s a popular show called “The Crown” which chronicles the lives of the British Royal family members.  My husband and I watched some episodes, and there was one particular episode that gave us both a chuckle.  In the episode, Queen Elizabeth and her husband are getting ready for bed.  While getting ready, they don’t go to a sink to brush their teeth.  Instead, their servants bring them toothbrushes, toothpaste, water to rinse, and a bowl to spit in afterward.  Then while standing, they brush their teeth in the middle of the room while their servants hold bowls for them to spit into. It was incredibly odd.

Now, the scene is funny, but it’s also illuminating.  That scene made me think about the fact that being served all the time does not improve one’s personality.  Instead, having someone else cook your food, wash your clothes, or make your bed ultimately will make you insufferable.  That’s because you’ll go through life thinking that you’re better than other people, and that somehow you deserve to be served by others.  That kind of attitude is the opposite of humility.

So, what’s the antidote to that kind of delusional thinking?  Well, to maintain your humility, it’s important to spend part of each day serving others.  For example, I start each day in service.  I have a cat, a dog and two rabbits.  And before I even make myself a cup of coffee in the morning, I clean their litter boxes, let the dog out for a good run around the property, and feed the critters.  I also fill our bird feeders! Those acts of service allow me to start my day in the right frame of mind.  And that frame of mind is that I’m not too important to serve anyone – including the creatures that roam our earth. 

Serving others gets our self-perception in line with reality.  The reality is that not one of us is too important (or too busy) to do a load of laundry, make a bed or cook a meal for others.  Humble people know that.

So, I encourage you to make serving others part of your daily routine.  Do practical things for others!  Make someone’s bed.  Cook a meal for another person.  Do someone else’s laundry.  Serving others is an extremely effective way to develop your humility. 

Show Gratitude

Entitlement is a word that has bad connotations.  So, we may negatively say, “So-and-so has an attitude of entitlement.” When we say that, we mean that person thinks they deserve things that they haven’t earned.

Now, I’ll concede that every human being is entitled to certain things.  For instance, every human being is entitled to live in a safe, peaceful environment, free from violence, threat and meanness.  Every person is entitled to be judged based on the content of their character rather than on their race, gender or sexual orientation (to paraphrase Martin Luther King, Jr.). 

However, where entitlement becomes a problem is when it reflects a lack of humility.  So, some folks think that they are so wonderful that they are entitled to have other people do basic things for them. 

However, realize that once you become an adult, you’re responsible to take care of yourself.  So, if someone else does something for you, whether it be cooking you a meal or doing your laundry, that’s a gift, and you need to express your gratitude. 

When we say “thank you,” we acknowledge that we aren’t entitled to have other folks run around and do stuff for us. Instead, we are humble enough to be able to say to ourselves, “I’m not so important that other people should be cooking my meals.  So, I’m incredibly grateful if someone cooks dinner for me.” 

The benefit is that if you get in the habit of saying “thank you” regularly, you’ll grow in humility.  Each time you express your gratitude, you’ll lose any lingering sense of entitlement that you may have.  And instead, you’ll develop a humble, grateful point of view. 

I have a friend who is my Gratitude Role Model.  She sends me a note of thanks for nearly anything.  Sometimes she’ll send me a note just to say that she appreciates my mere existence!  It sounds funny, but she really appreciates other people, and the things that they do for her.  And she is humble enough to realize that when others do things for her, that’s a gift that needs to be acknowledged!

So, get in the habit of being grateful.  If you think that you are entitled to having anyone do anything for you, lose that wrong-headed point of view.  Realize that once you become an adult, no one owes you anything.  Rather, everything that others do for your is a gift.  Be humble enough to realize that fact, and then say “Thank You” – often!

Acknowledge Your Limitations

Part of being humble is being able to be publicly humble.  Unfortunately, many people struggle to publicly acknowledge their limitations.  Instead, they feel an irrational need to cover up the fact that they’re imperfect.

If you have that kind of perfectionism issue, let me let you in on a big secret:  No one thinks that you’re perfect.  The reality is that you can’t hide your flaws.  Everyone knows what your flaws are.  Your family members, friends and colleagues all know your qualities. And they all know your flaws. 

So, pretending to be perfect, incredibly smart or interesting is a waste of time.  You have qualities, and everyone can see them.  You also have flaws, and similarly everyone can see them. 

As a result, the best approach to life is simply to be humble at all times.  Readily acknowledge your limitations.  You should be able to easily say, “I don’t know how to do that.”  Or, “I never knew that fact before!” 

Now, I’m not suggesting that you go through life being insecure and putting yourself down.  Rather, I’m suggesting that you be confident!  Be confident enough to know your qualities.  But also be humble enough to readily acknowledge your shortcomings.

Be Mindful of Your Ego

Your ego is your sense of self.  So, if you have an inflated ego, that means that you have an unrealistic sense of how important or valuable you are. 

To be humble, the key is to keep your ego in check.  That means having a realistic sense of yourself. Let me put it this way: You’re important.  But you aren’t more important than anyone else. 

People struggle to be humble when their egos get out of control, and they think that they’re better than other folks.  Unfortunately, people delude themselves into thinking that they’re very important for all kinds of silly reasons.  Perhaps they went to an Ivy league school.  Or, maybe they come from a certain family.  Or, perhaps they’re wealthy.  Now, those circumstances may make you privileged within our society.  But they don’t make you any more important than anyone else. 

The key to being humble is to keep your ego in check by having a realistic sense of your own importance.  As I said, you’re important.  But no more important than anyone else.  You have skills and qualities.  But you aren’t more valuable than anyone else.

Remember that being humble is critical if you want to be successful, both personally and professionally.  If you are seeking to develop your humility, adopt the approaches above.  If you do, you’ll enjoy both personal and professional success, and you’ll be an overall better human being! ( To learn about the skills that you need for successful relationships, click here.)