Dealing with change is hard. No one enjoys it. We are all creatures of habit, and we all would prefer that our lives putter along without disruption.
However, avoiding change can hurt us. I’ve known people who stayed in bad marriages for years, simply because the changes that come with divorce were too overwhelming for them. Folks will stay in bad jobs for the same reason. People, unfortunately, will choose misery just to avoid change.
Of course, an aversion to change is understandable. However, whether change is good or bad, it is something that is inevitable. As the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, said, “Change is the only constant in life.” So, we need to learn to deal with it in positive ways.
Below are some approaches to dealing with change. Consider using them when you are facing either small or big life changes.
When Dealing with Change, Realize that the Discomfort Will Pass
Change naturally is uncomfortable. For instance, if you are going through a divorce, the loss of a job, or a relocation, your whole life will change. You will have to develop new routines, and that takes some getting used to.
But the discomfort of the new routines will pass with time. And pretty soon your new routines will be the “old routines.” Be patient.
For example, many years ago, I lived in the Middle East. When I initially moved overseas, I found that figuring out a new life in a foreign country was a hassle. Simply finding where to shop for groceries was frustrating. But pretty soon, I had my “Middle East routines,” and my life wasn’t all that different from my life in the U.S. I just had to get used to it.
Dealing with Change Keeps Our Minds Sharp
The good news is that change forces us to keep learning and that keeps our brains sharp. For example, when you get a new job, there are a thousand new things that you have to learn when working in a new setting. In fact, any type of change requires us to learn how to do things differently. And that keeps our minds nimble.
It is good to force our brains to regularly learn new things. And it is good for us to face problems and solve them. All of that keeps our minds sharp.
For instance, I recently set up a new website for my blog. Admittedly, it wasn’t easy! I constantly faced technology issues that were outside of my skill set. However, I didn’t throw my hands up in the air and hire a professional to complete the website. Instead, I just kept researching and trying different things until I solved each problem. I had a real feeling of accomplishment when it was done, and creating the website gave my brain a good workout!
Appreciate the Freedom that Can Come with Change
We all can feel trapped in life. It is easy to feel trapped in a bad marriage or job. While leaving either a job or marriage can be traumatic in some ways, there also is a new found freedom that comes with that change. If you can get past the sadness, you’ll realize that the end of a bad situation is actually quite liberating.
For example, I had a friend who was married for over a decade. When her marriage ended, she naturally was sad. She had hoped it would last until “death do us part.”
But when every day of the marriage became fraught with conflict, she decided that enough was enough. And when her divorce finally was completed, she felt like a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders. It was as if she could breathe for the first time in many years.
The changes that came with the end of her marriage were difficult. However, the relief of no longer being in a bad marriage was worth that discomfort. Being free of any burden, whether it be a bad marriage, job or other relationship, is worth the hassle of change.
Use Change as An Opportunity for A Fresh Start
Realize that when we are in the midst of a change in one area of our lives, it is a great time to make changes in other areas. For instance, let’s say that you are laid off or fired from your job. Don’t look at that situation as a failure. Instead, view it as a fresh start to pursue the career you always wanted. Better yet, you might find a job with a schedule that allows you to exercise every evening or at lunchtime. And while you are at it, since your life is completely changing, you might take up that hobby that you always thought would be interesting. I could go on, but you get my point.
Consider using the change in one part of your life to spur you on to improve other parts. Use it as an opportunity to create your best life yet. See change not as a tragedy but as a complete fresh start.
Change is hard. We naturally want life to stay the same. But change is inevitable. Consider using the above approaches so that you won’t just deal with change but embrace it! (To read about the building blocks for a happy life, click here.)
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