How to Get Rid of Negativity and Become a More Positive Person

We all, at times, can go down the rabbit hole of negativity.  If something goes wrong at work, or if we get stuck in traffic, we quickly can reach the conclusion that all of life is bad!  It’s easy to go down a negative rabbit hole on occasion.  But if you want to be a happy person, you need to learn how to avoid those rabbit holes!  And that means learning how to become a more positive person.

Realize that there’s not one person on this earth who has a perfect life.  We all have frustrations.  And we all have to face disappointments from time to time.  And we can get dragged down by those frustrations and disappointments if we don’t learn to be positive.

Below are ways to become a more positive person.  Adopt these approaches and see how much more positive and happier you can become!

Practice Gratitude

I’ve known a lot of unhappy people over the years, and they all had one thing in common: They were ungrateful.  Not one of these unhappy people was either mentally or physically ill.  Not one was poor.  There was nothing discernably wrong with their lives.  They simply were ungrateful for what they had.

I have friend who taught me a wonderful lesson recently about being positive.  She’s a single mom and has a demanding job as a lawyer.  The other day, she told me that whenever she gets frustrated by work (or any of the other typical frustrations of life), she stops and thinks about her son.  Her son is a twenty-something, highly successful, kind young man, and they have a great mother-son relationship.  And simply by remembering how grateful she is for him, she feels positive about life again.

We all could learn from my friend’s approach to being positive.  When we shift our focus from what is troubling us to our blessings, our entire perspective changes. 

So, if you want to be more positive in life, whenever you are faced with something negative, develop the habit of saying something like, “This is irritating, but I am still so thankful for X.”  X could be a person.  Or X could be your job or your home.  The key is to train your brain to quickly shift to gratitude when faced with a negative situation. 

Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

It’s hard to be the one positive soul in a sea of negative individuals.  You can do it.  But it’s hard.  Unfortunately, if you spend your time with folks who think that the world is a terrible place, you’ll start thinking the same thing.  Sadly, negativity is like a poison that seeps through families, workplaces and communities.

So, if you want to be a positive person, you have to carefully choose with whom you spend your time.  For example, I have an easy time being positive because I spend most of my time with my husband who is an incredibly positive person.   He loves to work hard, meet different people and try new things.  A problem is never a problem for him.  It’s just a challenge to solve.  He has what the French call “joie de vivre” – an exuberant enjoyment of life.

Unfortunately, not everyone possesses that level of positivity.  There are lots of people who live in a state of negativity.  They may have it all – a nice home, a good job and a wonderful family – and yet they see the world through a negative lens.  Their focus is on whatever is imperfect in their lives.  And if you spend too much time with them, their negativity will exhaust you and leave you feeling negative as well!

So, carefully choose with whom you spend your time.  Make sure that you spend your time with people who are positive and who love life!  If you do so, you’ll find their positivity is infectious, and you’ll feel positive about your life too!

Reframe Negative Thoughts

Unfortunately, we can’t prevent negative thoughts from popping into our heads from time to time.  That is the nature of the human brain. For example, even if I decided to only have positive, beautiful thoughts for the rest of my life, I could never accomplish that. The human brain is impossible to control in that way. 

So, in order to be a more positive person, the goal isn’t to stop negative thoughts from occasionally popping up.  The goal is to learn how to manage them properly.  And the most effective way to do that is to re-frame them.

For instance, you may be plagued by negative thoughts about your past.  In order to become a more positive person, you need to learn to reframe those thoughts.  

For example, I could fret about my past. I could spend my time thinking, “Woe is me.  I grew up in a dysfunctional home.”  Or, “Woe is me.  I didn’t have the financial ability to be a fulltime, stay-at-home mom when my daughter was growing up.” 

The good news is that I have the ability to re-frame those negative thoughts.  When I reframe those thoughts, I realize that if I’d had an easy, perfect life, I couldn’t write this blog.  That’s because I would have nothing to say.  Unfortunately, wisdom doesn’t spring from good times.  Rather, it comes from facing and overcoming adversity.

You can take the same approach if you start thinking negatively about your goals.  For example, let’s say your goal is to learn to play the piano.  Instead of thinking, “This is too hard.  I’ll never be able to play the piano well,” reframe those thoughts.  Rather, you can think, “I’m making progress each day at playing the piano.  With time and practice, I continually will get better.  And at some point, I’ll be a terrific piano player!”

So, if you want to be a more positive person, the key isn’t to try to prevent negative thoughts from cropping up.  That is a futile exercise.  Instead, the key is to reframe them by seeing your situation in a more positive light.

Engage in Physical Activity

We all know that endorphins boost our mood.  And when we are in a good mood, it’s much easier to engage in positive thinking.  That is why exercising regularly to generate endorphins is critical if you want to become a more positive person.

The key to staying positive is to incorporate exercise throughout your day.  And by exercise, I simply mean moving your body!  Now, if you work from home, as I do, incorporating exercise into your daily routine is easy.  For instance, whenever I take a 10-minute break, I try to do something physical.  I may walk around the yard with my dog.  Or I might do a 10-minute exercise video or a quick household chore.  I might just walk up and down the stairs in my house.  The key is to move my body to get those endorphins going!

Now, if you work at a job where you don’t move a lot, your work breaks are a critical time to get moving.  During your breaks, you can simply go for a walk.  Or you might stretch at your desk.  The key is to not sit, but to engage in some kind of movement.

And of course, there is nothing wrong with going to the gym.  But we tend to only do that a couple of times a week – at most!  So, if you want to generate endorphins and keep your mood boosted all the time, it helps to find ways to exercise throughout the day.  If you do so, you’ll find that you naturally will be in a more positive frame of mind all the time. 

Practice Mindfulness

A mindfulness practice is simply a practice of being present in the here and now.  When you are being mindful, your mind isn’t fretting about the past or worrying about the future.  Instead, you are fully engaged in whatever you are doing in the present moment.

Mindfulness can help you be more positive because often our negative thoughts come from our disappointment with the past or our worries about the future.  Not only are those kinds of thoughts negative, but they’re also a waste of time!  After all, we can’t change the past, and we have little control over the future.  Rather, the only thing that we can control is how we operate in the present moment.

That realization allows us to be positive!  Because in this moment, I can choose to be kind and considerate of others.  And I can choose to act with integrity, regardless of what is going on around me.  And when we act with kindness, consideration and integrity, we feel fantastic!  There is no better feeling than the one that comes from simply being a good person.

I know for myself that when I argue with others, I feel terrible.  I never feel good after a conflict.  But when I choose not to engage in conflict, and otherwise take the high road, I feel really great!  I feel positively about myself because I’ve chosen to take a more emotionally mature path.

So, if you are seeking to be more positive, live in this present moment.  Focus on how you can be the most exceptional person possible right now.  When we act at our highest level, we automatically feel more positive about ourselves and about the world around us.

If you are seeking to be a more positive person, consider following the approaches above.  Remember that positive thinking takes practice. So, go easy on yourself. Don’t expect to have a completely positive outlook overnight. But if you keep working at it, you’ll find that you truly can become a more positive and happier person. (To read about having a positive outlook, even when life is hard, click here.)